If your daughter, age 7, had been invited 'round to a friend's house for the afternoon

[earlgrey]

Would it bother you that the mum let her and her classmate go to the park on their own? For now, apart from school and with her dad, my dds never been out of my sight. Do you think I'm being overly protective, or do you think I should stick to my instincts?

No I would be very annoyed!

They should have checked with you first!

yes it would bother me .. and I'd make it clear too

I'd be annoyed but depends how far from the park they live as well.

I'd be annoyed. You can't just apply your own standards wrt this kind of thing imo.

Most people wouldn't be happy with this unless the park is adjacent to their house IMO

I'd be annoyed, even if the park was very close, that I hadn't been asked. Its ones of those things that you should check with the parents first as everyone has different feelings. Also now your DD will probably start nagging you to let her go to the park or somewhere on her own.

I wouldn't like it, my sister has a park opposite her house, and has been letting her dd go over unattended since she was about 5!! It still makes me shiver just thinking about it!!

How far is the park. Can they be seen from the house? How big is the park?

I would be livid Im afraid - if she invited her to play at the house then they should stay at hte house unless they've asked to do otherwise.

I personally did let my seven year old dd go to the park with a friend, but that's not really the issue. It was my decision to do that but there is no way I would ever assume to let a visiting child do that as well unless I had checked with her parents first. I think you're quite right to be angry.

how did you find out? did your dd tell you or the other mother - what were you told?

On the face of it, I'd be very unsettled I had not even been asked. It's the sort of thing I'd check with another parent if I had thier 7 year old at our house. Even though I let my 7 year old play out on our quiet road, I would NEVER presume this is an OK arrangement for anyone else's child and automatically ban playing out if ds has guests round.

I don't think any child 10 or under should be allowed 'out' on there own with out the permission of the parent.

IMO you are too overprotective - exactly when do you plan to start allowing your dd to learn how to make decisions, value judgments etc and look after herself? small amounts of personal responibility need to be given to allow children to grow and handle the real world in which they live.

HOWEVER - you cant make decisions about things like that for other peoples kids. you should have been asked and your wishes followed.

a 'friend' offered to pick my dd up from school as i had a docs appointment when i went to collect her she was playing in the road which can be quite busy she is also only 5 i asked why she was allowed to play on the road and she said well it is safe i disagreed and she has not looked after dd again even when i am in a jam, the same persons 4 year old (but size of 2 year old) was walking the street alone at 7pm down a busy road when she ran in front of a car was very nearly hititook her home and all her mother said was oh i thought she was in the garden anything could have happened.

It would bother me if I wasn't used to giving her that freedom myself. Dd is 5 but I doubt I would feel comfortable with it when she's 7.

I'd be livid and no 7 year old dd of mine would be off to the park on her own. You are not in the least bit overprotective imo.

I'm always a bit worried that when ds goes to play after school that other mums would let them out in the street, because I wouldn't. I have mentioned it to one or two of them but they don't let their children do that either so it's been OK. Part of me thinks 'they are gonig to think I'm nuts' but the the majority of me thinks 'sod it, it's my child and I'll decide - if they think I'm nuts, so be it, but I don't want to be a parent making a tearful plea on the news'.

I'm talking about a 5 yr old here though.

I would eb livid too.... I would NEVER let a 7 year old go to the park by themselves...

in fact its only this year that ive started letting my 5 (nearly 6) and 4 year old charges play in their GARDEN by themselves!

(they do have a VERY large garden, but my rule is they cant go past the trampoline (have a corner with a little tykes house, a trampoline a sand pit and swings etc)

beyond that is the tennis court (which due to hedges you cant see form the kitchen) they are NOT allowed there without me.... or into their woods which are beyond that.

Even then I worry about them, but the only time they go out there without me anyway is typically after a meal... when im in the kitchen washing up etc, by the window wear i can see them anyway!

I also always have the window open so i can hear them as well

Ah, good to hear someone else is as neurotic as me

also outside the house we have a court yard area... then after that there is a large driveway..

they are allowed in the court yard by themselves , but NOT into the driveway without me either.

Call me over protective if you like, but they are NOT my own children... saying that even IF it was my house and they were my children it would be no different!

I would rather be neurotic than have them abducted / run over

(even the postman can drive pretty quickly into the driveway!)

Unless the park is accessible from the back garden or something I'd be furious too. Totally agree with everyone who's said that this is absolutely not something you allow before checking with the child's parents at this age.