Would you be bothered/worried by this?

[earlgrey]

dd2 is in a mixed Y2/Y1 class - she's in Y1. She's 6.

Tonight, just before bed, she sang:

Boys are Gay, that's what I say.

I told her that wasn't the right thing to say, and and gave her an alternative:

Boys are OK, that's what I say.

Of course, she asked what gay meant, and I told her 'happy'. At which point, with dd1, she went and asked H, who gave her the full meaning. I'm sorry, but for two children who don't even know what sexuality is, (they're still in the 'I'm a girl, you're a boy, so don't even deign to talk to me mode) I think this is a but much from (a) dd1's classmate, who's 7 (but has a sister in the second class at secondary school, and who may have learned it from her, BUT (b), H filling them in on it.

What do you all think?

I think your alternative was great, I also think saying some boys like other boys and some girls like other girls isnt a bad thing for her to grow up knowing.

cc, that's really made me wonder. I do think you're right, but even when they don't know what sexuality is at all?

My opinion is answer their questions honestly but without giving them any unneccessary extra information. FWIW, I think your DH probably did the right thing, she won't fully understand what it means, but better to have a brief, understated explanation at home than a distortion at school or wherever. I agree it is areally difficult line to draw, my DS is 6 and I am glad that he hasn't asked any really awkward questions yet

Don't think there's anything wrong with explaining that some women love other women and some men love other men. Wouldn't go into much more detail than that, though.

Seems as though she suspected you weren't giving her the full picture, given she went and tackled H. She obviously realised 'happy' wasn't right from the context in which 'gay' was used. Which is a pretty sophisticated bit of reasoning, from a 6yo - smart girl, your dd2.

Friends DD age 6 came home with this version of an old favourite that I hadn't heard before!
Georgie porgie pudding and pie,
Kissed the girls aand made them cry,
When the boys came out to play,
kissed them too cos' he was gay!

Also DS age 9 came home very upset because a boy in his class called him a lesbian! I tried to explain that a boy couldn't be a lesbian.

Kids just pick up on words and have no idea of their real meaning.

My uncle used to say:

Georgie porgie pudding and pie
Kissed the girls and made them cry
When the boys came out to play
He kissed them as well, he's funny that way!

Wasn't the rhyme originally about the Prince Regent, ie George IV?

just look at my thread under parenting
sooooooooooo sad
wish we could just wrap our children in bubbles so they dont have to speak to another child ever

edam, that's a lovely thing to say, as have you all, but for the moment I want to protect them from the very idea of fancying anyone. Am I hopelessly out of date?

No earlgrey, you are not hopelssly out of date but I am I think.

My eldest son (only just 10) has been called gay and weird by his classmates because he shows no interest in the girls. Some of the girls in his class are clearly entering puberty but my son is a long way from it and has been suffering a lot since the school did the obligatory talk about puberty earlier this year because of it.

It makes me

I too have a 6 yo dd and she sings songs with sexual overtones which I hate, but at least I know they mean nothing to her.

Thanks everyone. I'm not sure I'm any clearer, but at least now I know I'm not the only one.

my rule of thumb is that - if they are old enough to ask they are old enough to know.

of course how much detail you use is subject to the age and understanding of the child. but in general the more honest you are the better.

my thinking is that if theyhave asked the question then there is obviously somewhere that the subject has come up...probably the school playground..and if they dont hear the truth from you they will more than likely hear a very distorted version at school.

i think your own response was fine as it is a true and accurate answer to her question but i dont think it wrong of your DH to give the more widely accepted use for that term.

if asked i would have said that some boys grow up and want to marry girls, other boys want to grow up and marry other boys...and the same with girls...some girls want to marry other girls.
if they wanted extra clarification i would explain it as a choice, the same as some girls like wearing pink shoes other like blue...etc.

at your dds age i would imagine they have a breif understanding of marriage and so it owuld be enough for them to understand it as a life choice.

EDAM....you have made me smile.

DS is called George and we sing that to him all the time. he laughs and says

"no i dont"

so i say do you kiss the girls then?"

to which he goes even more red in the face and grins so widely i cant help but laugh and shouts

"no way girls are yuk!"

why oh why cant they stay this inocent.