Why can't MIL just give ds back to me when he cries

[emkana]

When MIL is holding ds and he starts crying she never gives him back to me, I have to walk up to her and take him off her. It's really annoying! She actually walks away from me, saying to ds "Watta matta you" or something sounding like that, rocking him and shushing him...
I know she means well etc. but still... he's three weeks old, generally you can just assume that when he cries a cuddle by his mum and quite possibly the breast will calm him down, so why is she trying to prove all the time that she can do it?

Am I being petty then?

my mil was the same, i had to force him off her in the end, i knew he wanted feeding she just wanted to stuff a dummy in his mouth. it's irritating, i can sympathise!

That's it sobernow, I went round there with ds and dd2 and tbh I just wanted her to play with dd2 so I could just sit with ds on my lap and have some rest of sorts, instead she ignored dd2 and kept messing around with ds

Dd2 kept asking her to read a book to her, she kept saying "No I can't because of ds" so in the end I actually took him off her so that she would sit down and read to dd2, poor little thing.
My MIL has been like this with all my three, babies just seem to have this effect on her, but it still irritates the hell out of me. I've actually calmed down, with dd1 I found it nearly physically painful when she wouldn't give her back to me, and I wasn't assertive enough yet to just take her.

My mother was exactly like this with both my chidren. It drove me up the wall. One day I was so mad that I yelled at her "GIVE ME MY SON!" She was so shocked!

Mind you, next time he cried and I said to her, "here, give him here", instead of walking off in the opposite direction, she handed him over! Maybe you should try it.

Glad you liked it caligula

No advice, just sympathies! My MIL did this too. It annoyed me but i tried really hard not to let it bother me. Kept telling myself that she didn't mean any harm and that he was her grandson etc.

Personally, I get p-ed off when people hand my crying baby straight back without trying to soothe them. She thinks she's doing you a favour. Send her round here!

lol SD I knew you'd come on here and have a different opinion

I aim to please

Seriously, send her here though. She's more than welcome to wander off with a crying BabyDragon.

It shocked the shit out of me the first time MIL came to see ds1 when he was a couple of weeks old. She literally walked into the room, straight up to me, eyes fixed on the baby, and snatched him out of my arms. I hadn't seen the woman for over a year.

lol, I hear u hon had the same problem! in the end I made a point about it mum told me off but I had to prove a point as it were - boy screamed I said what's the time that's all, then both PIL and DH said he's not hungry every one tried something differnt with him, I walked away made a phone call boy was screaming then I camer back (after a few mins) and DH said I think he wants feeding - I said I bloody well told u he did on your behalf hon.

(althou i'm in a bad mood now! lol)

OMg I think that's my MIL. Why do they do that? I think it's pure jealousy that they've finished having babies and they are reliving it using the next best thing.

Whereas your own mother would appreciate her daughter's feelings and the need to establish being a mum to this child - well mine would anyway..

My MIL was exactly the same with the Dss when they were babies. our problem was that we lived a 7 hour drive from them so we had to put up with them for a week/2 weeks at a time, while DH was at work. I remember when DS1 was about 8months old and he had got into a routine of settling himself in his cot at night, and for his naps. But no, she rocked him to sleep every night in her arms, and sat there all night with him until she went to bed, by which time he woke up, then muggins here was up for hours trying to settle him!

They're coming over for a BBQ tomorrow. [groan]