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Original poster

HUGE work problem happing RIGHT NOW ....... HELP!

35 replies

VeniVidiVickiQV · 10/07/2006 20:14

Im sat here, on reception, desperately needing to break wind . I have two visitors sat here (who neednt be.....normally no-one is about) and I cant leave the desk to go to the toilet.

WHAT DO I DO??????????

Im thinking switching the fan off so it doesnt blow straight in their face is first on the plan of action......

OP posts:
Piffle · 10/07/2006 20:15

you can never guarantee the volume or the odor though VVV
I advise gastric caution

harpsichordcarrier · 10/07/2006 20:15

do you have a cushion to form a baffle?
or use your coat?
pretend you have piles

TooTicky · 10/07/2006 20:15

Can you cough loudly to cover it?

CountessDracula · 10/07/2006 20:16

yy cough

Or leave room very briefly, surely you could just pick up a bit of paper, say "excuse me a sec" to visitors, off to the hall, massive guff then back in.

tortoise · 10/07/2006 20:17

I wouldn't cough.It might push it out louder!

hunkermunker · 10/07/2006 20:18

Just guff. lady

EvesMama · 10/07/2006 20:18

pull your undies 'up' your bum like a g string..this muffles the noise..cant help with smell tho??..spray some air fresh first, say drains are playing up???

Original poster
VeniVidiVickiQV · 10/07/2006 20:18

I cant leave - when i have to go to the loo i have to ring upstairs to put the switchboard on.

There is always the risk that someone is following me.

I nearly let go a minute ago before remembernig that they were sat there

OP posts:
CountessDracula · 10/07/2006 20:20

so call upstairs and get someone to ...ahem... relieve you

LadyTophamHatt · 10/07/2006 20:22

just fart....just let it ripe.....

Original poster
VeniVidiVickiQV · 10/07/2006 20:22

Well, what concerns me is that the toilet is RIGHT next to the reception. If its noisy - they WILL hear.....

Or, even worse.....the odour could follow me out.......

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 10/07/2006 20:23

Let it rip and then exclaim "Better out than in!" or "Get a lungful of that!".

tortoise · 10/07/2006 20:23

Or it might slip out as you stand up!

Original poster
VeniVidiVickiQV · 10/07/2006 20:23

hmmm - might be able to nip to the post room around the corner.....

OP posts:
Piffle · 10/07/2006 20:23

ring yourself on the phone while its ringing loudly slip it if it whiffs no one will think it is the dainty feminine receptionist right.
My brothers ex girlf used to clear the bar with hers, she was an NZ maori and loved to eat Kina eggs (sea urchins to you and me) she ahd the worst wind of anyone, but the face and figure of an angel - she would drop one in the queue for the beer, they'd all move, partly due to ehr beauty but mostly due to the stench..
result
quick beers

Piffle · 10/07/2006 20:24

my dp has this catch phrase
If you don't fart, you die...
serious choices VVV

Piffle · 10/07/2006 20:24

although when dp does it, it smells like someone has...

Original poster
VeniVidiVickiQV · 10/07/2006 20:25

I had chilli at the weekend.........

OP posts:
TooTicky · 10/07/2006 20:26

You're not still holding on, are you?

mistressmiggins · 10/07/2006 20:30

havent you any perfume in your handbag - just spray yourself with that while farting

Original poster
VeniVidiVickiQV · 10/07/2006 20:31

still holding.

The feckers are still here

OP posts:
CountessDracula · 10/07/2006 20:32

how about setting off the fire alarm

SaintGeorge · 10/07/2006 20:32

Dear Lord - chilli! Beware of follow through vvv

Original poster
VeniVidiVickiQV · 10/07/2006 20:34

I could set off the cardiac bleep......hmmmmm

Mind you - that would send everyone running to me.

OP posts:
Original poster
VeniVidiVickiQV · 10/07/2006 20:35

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

they've left.......

OP posts: