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I have an idea.....

30 replies

Rhubarb · 23/02/2004 10:07

And I need a little feedback on it. Dh and I were having a discussion last night (nothing on the telly) and we decided that we are wasting our lives just stagnating here where we are. He could be doing the same job another 20 years from now, we're both fed up of living here and I crave a little bit more than the daily routine I have now. Since buying this house 3 years ago, prices have rocketed and it is now worth more than double what we paid for it. But this wouldn't make any difference to us if we sold up and bought another house in the same area. So our idea was.......to sell up, take the money and bugger off somewhere warm!

It's an idea that I've always cherished, I want adventure and I've never been happy with a mortgage, 2.5 children and a car in the driveway (not that we have a driveway!). Now dh is finally beginning to see my point. We have nothing holding us back here, dd hasn't started school yet and ds is just 11 weeks old. We'd be silly not to take this opportunity. Our mortgage is low, we could pay it off and have around 55 grand to do what we like with.

Our sketchy plans so far are to perhaps live somewhere very cheap (i.e. India) for 6 months or so, just to go somewhere completely different! And then perhaps rent somewhere in France and spend a year there looking around for business opportunities. We could just go straight to France, but it would be nice to have a little adventure first.

The only concerns are the effects this would have on our children. dd is 3.5 and ds is 11 weeks. I wouldn't like to put ds's health at risk, though I'm sure there must be loads of mums who have gone travelling with little babies in tow.

So what I'd like really is to hear from anyone who has done something similiar, or anyone whose childhood was similiar. And indeed, anyone who wants me tell me what a stupid/brilliant idea it is!

OP posts:
twiglett · 23/02/2004 10:14

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Rhubarb · 23/02/2004 10:19

He'd have his triple vaccines done. And I'm not sure that malaria is a very big risk in some places of India.

OP posts:
Galaxy · 23/02/2004 10:24

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twiglett · 23/02/2004 10:24

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CountessDracula · 23/02/2004 10:24

Probably ok if you stick to the sea. But I wouldn't risk it personally

Brilliant idea Rhubarb, I'm very jealous.

Azure · 23/02/2004 10:30

When I was in Chile on business about 10 years ago I bumped into a French couple who had given up their jobs for a year, hired a campervan and were travelling around South America with their two small children. They said it was the best thing they had ever done. Not quite what you are talking about, but I admire people who can escape the rat-race in that way. Good for you! Have you looked at the Lonely Travel website (www.lonelyplanet.com)? Their discussion forum (the Thorn Tree) has a section on travelling with kids (Kids to Go), which might be useful.

sykes · 23/02/2004 10:32

Some friends of mine travelled around South America in a camper van for over a year with a dd aged 2. They rented their house out to pay mortgage. Had a great time and relocated from London when they returned. Incredibly special memories and are both now doing something very different to what they did pre travelling.

dejags · 23/02/2004 10:36

What a great idea Rhubarb!!

We have plans to move to South Africa when our new baby is 6 weeks old - I have booked and paid for the tickets today (YIPEEE!!!)

In my view life is too short - I would hate to look back when I am 50 and all I think of is "what if?".

I would love to spend some time in India (a long standing dream) but I have to admit the health implications for DS did put me off. I think if you are happy to stay in one place and you investigate areas which are relatively disease free in advance then it can be done.

Good luck
Dejags

SenoraPostrophe · 23/02/2004 10:54

Do you know what you could get in rental income, Rhubarb? You may find you could re-mortgage for a little bit more and then let the house out for enough to cover the mortgage (allowing a bit extra for repairs etc). That way you wouldn't be taking a financial risk at least.

I agree you should go on an adventure first - yes there's a risk of disease in some places (not just malaria, but Typhoid and others) but you could research that and take precautions - babies don't tend to get bitten much by mozzers I have found.

But be very careful about starting a business - if you are prepared to work very hard then you can probably do it, but far too many ex-pats seem to think that running a restaurant/farm/hotel without any previous experience whatsoever will be somehow easier in a foreign country.

Trifle · 23/02/2004 11:12

+We're thinking of doing the same thing as my dp has the chance of redundancy which would leave a nice tidy sum in the bank and we're planning on touring Canada, Aus or NZ for 3 months or so in a campervan. I would definitely recommend renting your house out via a lettings agency, even if it just covers the mortgage at least it is something to fall back on. My ds starts school in September and we have managed to get him into a fantastic one hence our decision to cut short any long term trip to a few months. There are some wonderful places that I would like to visit, Argentina being one, but I think you need to weigh up the pros of travelling together against the cons of the environment you will be visiting. Perhaps India is not the best one at your childrens age and this can be kept on a back burner for the future. My dp is desperate to start his own business and has looked seriously into franchises. To get anything decent you are taking up to £50k so you could invest in something like this and still have some money left over to do a trip. I'd definitely say go for it as we get so bogged down in our own little lives and rarely get to see much of the outside world. How about trying a test trip of a few months to see how you get on.

SoupDragon · 23/02/2004 11:25

I was going to ask if you could do it whilst renting your house out too.

ghengis · 23/02/2004 11:49

My DH is being made redundant in August this year and we are thinking of France too. Like Galaxy we have an 11 year old who will take some persuading but we are all brushing up on our French at the moment and having a laugh about it! The idea of being without a mortgage is so attractive, having spent years moving around just to earn more and (supposedly) have a better lifestyle. What we have ended up with is not having time for what we know to be truly important and that is what we want to rectify.

aloha · 23/02/2004 12:00

I'm a bit of a homebody myself, but if I was like you, I'd rent out the house (ideally not sell) and got to Thailand for a couple of months. From all I've gathered from people I've met (including a friend who is married to a Thai man), Thailand is incredibly welcoming, Thai society really welcomes and looks after children, the food is lovely and it is staggeringly beautiful without the problem of India. It is incredibly cheap to live there (esp if you are happy with very basic accommodation and live mostly outdoors). I think France is one of the most difficult places in Europe to start a business due to very complex beaurocracy etc but I'm certainly no expert. Also, £55K wouldn't buy you a big house in most places, nor a business. Don't want to rain on your parade though, so why not start with the travelling/living abroad adventure and then see how you feel about the rest of your lives.

Galaxy · 23/02/2004 12:04

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Galaxy · 23/02/2004 12:07

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collision · 23/02/2004 12:41

We did it!! We lived in Isleworth (!) and then had ds and thought that this isnt what we want for the rest of our lives! Horrible schools, traffic, weather, etc etc made us think that maybe we could do something that would be more rewarding. So, last March we moved to Tuscany, Italy. It was the best thing we ever did. Ds is 22months and is speaking English and Italian. Things seem safer and he has more freedom to go out and play as we live in a tiny village and everyone looks out for each other. The weather and the scenery are perfect and the seasons are as they should be. I am happy as soon as I look out of the window.

Having said all that, dh is a chef and is Italian so he had a skill and the language and we opened a fine dining restaurant. The red tape has been hell and there is so much paperwork to do. We are lucky in that it did work for us but there are downsides too. There is nothing to do for children.....no playgroups, Tumbletots, music groups etc and so he goes to nursery a few hrs every day (which is v cheap!) I would be happy to tell you more if you are interested.

We sold everything and moved here so have nothing to go back to UK for apart from family. My brother moved to Nice last year with his wife and is renting his house out so that if they get fed up they have somewhere to live.

You really need to ask what job will you do? Can you speak a language or are you prepared to learn one? Will you need childcare?

As well.....my dh was saying to me the other day that if you are an accountant it doesnt matter where you live.....Italy, Tobago, USA, Slough....you are still an accountant!! (No offense to accountants!!)

Rhubarb · 23/02/2004 13:21

Collison, I'd love to hear more from you! Please contact me via Mumsnet!
Re: renting the house. This is something we have talked about, but the income raised from that would be next to nothing and we don't have a lot of capital to start off on a trip like this. Tbh, if the worst came to it and we did end up coming back home, we could always live with dh's parents whilst we found something better. I hadn't thought of re-mortgaging though. How does that work exactly?

We weren't thinking of buying a property in France, just renting whilst we got a foothold.

I am doing a course in conversational French, dh can also speak enough French to get by. He's also been to Thailand before so going back there would be a distinct possibility! As for jobs, well he's a plant hire driver at the moment and could take that anywhere. I am multi-skilled! I can do office work, bar work, restaurant work, I have internet skills and some teaching experience. Someone said the tourist season is short in France, but when we went on our hols there 2 years ago (South of France, can't for the life of me remember the place now!) we stayed in accommodation owned by an English couple. They told us that they also have tourists come for winter, especially over Christmas.

As I said, our plans are very vague at the moment. We don't like our house or our neighbours, we don't want to stay in this area for the rest of our lives and we have a feeling that we should really make the most of our lives before it becomes too late. We don't want to look back with regret either. Even if it means financial risk, it's worth it I think for the life you will have lived, it will make us better people and bring us closer together as a family, you can't put money on that.

OP posts:
suedonim · 23/02/2004 16:33

I think if it's your dream, then have a bash, Rhubarb! Both dh's parents were brought up in India and dh himself lived in Africa as a child. Obviously there are health issues to consider but as a Westerner you have the great benefit of being able to access information and preventions/cures. Re renting your house out, would it be feasible to sell your place and buy a flat where you could ask more rent?

After living in a developing country myself I've had my eyes opened in a way that no amount of tv documentaries, books or even holiday travelling could do. You join a very exclusive club that you don't even know about until you are part of it - it's a bit like motherhood, something people just don't get until they are a mother themselves.

Just one condition - if you do go, you're to find internet cafes on a regular basis and send us an online journal of your adventures!

lilibet · 23/02/2004 16:44

Everyone here has given very sensible advice regarding houses and jobs and mortgages. Your post made me think of one of my very favourite poems which is by Edward Thomas and is a list of things that he would give someone whom he loves and the best line is 'to know what you want and want it not too late', I think that you know what you want and its the perfect time for you, so go for it!!!

Janstar · 23/02/2004 16:48

Rhubarb, re-mortgaging would mean obtaining a new mortgage for a higher amount, paying off the old mortgage and pocketing the difference. Then if you rent out the money you receive in rent pays your mortgage repayments for you. You use the left over money to live on. Advantage - a few years down the line your mortgage will become low again and your house will rise in value. You will still have it to move back into or sell. And all paid for by the tenants (smiley). Sorry smiley faces are not working at the moment!

stace · 23/02/2004 17:00

Go for it Rhubarb!!! Take some chances, go where you want, be careful and have fun, life is too short not to take chances!!!

Please dont sell your home though. keep a foot hold in the property ladder in the uk or else you could find yourself coming back and not being able to afford to get back on.

I personally have always wanted to go to india but again with children have always bottled it. Although my SIL is a homeopath and has masses of contacts with homeopathy in India. However i have been to thailand and it is everything and more than everyone hear has said and i can even say that although it was almost 10 years ago the medical assistance was really good in the cities.
The people are so wonderful and the country is amazing!! Good luck to you!!

miggy · 23/02/2004 21:49

Go for it while your children are young. We nearly moved to south of france 2 yrs ago but house fell through and when it did I realised I was secretly glad it had because was worried about childrens education as DS1 was then in yr4, so stopped looking for house. (still have itchy feet though!) At your childrens ages you could do anything and go anywhere. By the time you get organised your DS will be a bit older anyway.
Very good info for france from www.livingfrance.co.uk-la mairie (forum).

stupidgirl · 23/02/2004 22:02

Oh, I am so jealous

My dream is to move to Australia. If the opportunity arose I would be off like a shot (not that they'd have me...).

Just go for it, you will spend your life wondering what it would have been like if you don't.

Rhubarb · 24/02/2004 10:09

Thanks guys! We are giving serious thought to the idea of re-mortgaging. But renting out comes with risks of its own and we'd need to know a little bit more about it first. However it would seem to be the sensible thing to do.

I think we will go for it. I don't mind even if it all falls through and we end up back here, at least we can say that we gave it a go and I wouldn't spend the rest of my life wondering whether or not I should have gone. I'm more enthusiastic than dh is, he will miss his family and friends. And to be honest, I will miss my friends too, I have more friends here than I've ever had at any point in my life, and they've all been incredibly supportive of me. But if the same opportunity arose for them, I'm sure they wouldn't stay just for us, and new friends can always be made.

Looking out of the window today at the grey sky, the rain and the cold, I just want to get on the plane today and go!

OP posts:
susanmt · 24/02/2004 11:06

Rhubarb, I think if it is what you want, then go for it (just make sure you are somewhere with an internet connection, so you can update all us jealous mumsnetters back home).
We have friends when are now back in the UK but lived in Nepal for 7 years - they went out when their dd2 was 4 months old, and their ds was born there. THey had all the tropical vaccinations done with no problems at all, but at the time said the really essential one was TB, which is given to infants in the UK on a regular basis anyway.
You are making me jealous - we are hoping and planning to take some time out in a couple of years and go to Central America. We have, since we got married, hoped to be able to go and live somewhere totally different and also 'give something back' - as a doctor and a teacher we have professions which can be used in the developing world.
I'm a teacher and have taught several children who have had experiences of travelling and they are some of the most bright, intelligent, well balanced and inquiring children I have come accross. I think if you can give this experience to your kids then go for it!