birthday party invites - why am I getting streesed out!

[pashmina]

my dd2 will be 5 during the summer holidays, so we are trying to sort out her party at the mo, she says she doesn't want to invite any boys from her class, which is ok, but there is one girl she doesn't want to invite, she says she pulls her hair, amongst other things, and I know she can be a bit of a handfull.

but I have tried to explain to her that its not nice to leave somebody out (even though I know she has been missed out before)

should I respect her wishes and not invite this girl??

I dont have children yet, am expecting my first on a matter of weeks, so maybe I am not qualified to answer. But I would gently try to get your daughter to relent and invite the girl. They are pretty young and it could be really very hurtful for the other girl to be the only one not invited. And she may behave??

So are you inviting all the girls in the class? Seems like a big party - why not turn it around and ask who her friends are? Give her a maximum number, maybe? Have just had dd's 3rd birthday, and I invited the shildren she actually played with, not necessarily the ones we see 'cos I socialise with their mums (and no-one seemed to mind that their child wasn't invited, or at least they made a good job of not letting it show!)

I would say that if she is the only girl being left out, try and persuade your daughter to invite her, although I can see your dd's point if this girl is the only one always hitting her, etc.

Message withdrawn

If she is inviting ALL the girls apart from this one I would try to persuade her otherwise. If the party is during the summer holidays, the girl might not be able to come anyway. (Having said that, I left out one boy recently and although I had a valid reason for doing so I did feel guilty and wondered if the teacher noticed when she was putting the invites in their bags and thought I was mean!)

there are only 8 other girls in her class, there will be more children at the party (friends out of school, mostly older than her)

my gut feeling is we can't leave this girl out...I know how awful it is when I see other children holding invites that my dd's haven't been invited too.

I'm sure this girl is just a boisterous and that there is no real malice (although she is a handful by all accounts)

I think that maybe if she comes to the party too, it may help my dd bond better - after all they have another 6 years together in primary.

I'd let her leave this girl out and get the teacher to put the invites in the bookbags.

My ds chose not to have a boy from his class (wasn't the whole class though) whioch was awkward as we are quite friendly with his parents. But my ds had good reasons and I actually think it made this boy think a bit about how he behaved - he's been a lot nicer to my ds since.

If there were 2 or 3 girls out of the 8 not invited it would be fine, but I wouldn't allow dd to leave out just one girl.

problem has solved itself! my dd2 has decided she will invite this girl after all - better get the invites out before sge changes ger mind!