Would you ring social services?

[curlysmum]

I'm in a dilema, my daughter who is 4 has attended the same nursery and childminder as another little girl for the last year, along with the the little girls sister who goes to the other part of the nursery for smaller children. The girls are 3 and 4 years of age.
This is quite a complicated situation..their mother is Brazillian , my childminder has never met her she lives abroad she was told in France , their father is Nigerian, he told the childminder he lived in the UK but works in France, coming back each weekend. They are cared for by a young girl who told the childminder she was a cousin, they live quite a mixed up routine always being picked up by different au -pairs ,they have moved address two -three times , they are very beautiful,boisterous and outgoing but very demanding and obvoiusly lacking in affection. Now my childminder has noticed over the last few months they hardly mention their father he does not come back at the weekend etc, he has been late in paying the childminder and the girl who cares for them said they had to move out of the flat they were staying in due to lease problems? last week the father rang my childminder and was told by him thast the girl we thought was there cousin is not a relative at all just a girl he found through an agency, she wants to go to uni and he asked my childminder would she take the girls said he will pay very well, she did'nt say how much but said it was alot of money.
My childminder is in her late fifties with grown up children this is not something she would want to do , she said the father is really pleading with her, I just think this is so sad, and if the father is to be believed he said he lives in a big house in France with the mother, why on earth would you leave two lovely girls on there own in another country, of course I know in some cultures this is not unusual.
Sorry this is so long my daughter finishs the nursery in two weeks and I just worry what will happen to them, would you ring Social Services I am wary of doing this , would I have to give my name?

What does the childminder think you should do (if anything)? Are you concerned for the welfare of the children?

She did'nt really say I did'nt get time to speak to her properly as there was too many children , she said she will tell the father on Saturday when he calls that she does'nt want to take them, I suppose this is not against the law, but its just very strange.

Think i might ring social services to be honest. you dont have to give your name you can do an annoymous referral and it does seem as if there may be some neglect issue going on even if they are fine and well. good luck!

this sounds so sad, and very strange. really feel for those children. Go to social services, surely this is not allowed.

Thanks, I think you are right but I worry that they would be taken into care and be stuck into a home and maybe seperated, they are such gorgeous girls , you just can't imagine that their parent would be together in another country and not want them with them.

maybe if social services got invoved it may make the parents understand their parental responsibilties. How safe are they now??

Yes, I would contact Social Services the welfare of these two girls is of paramount important. Hope it all works out for the best - poor little bunnies.

sounds bizarre...

if you think the welfare of the children is at rsik then without doubt i wouldnt hesitate to ring social services...

anybody who cares for a child for more than few days (or is it a month) who isnt a reltive HAS to be registered with social services...

found this out when bosses sister was ill in hospital.... their very close friends (and neighbours) were VERY happy to care for the 2 girls for 6 weeks while mum got better (them living full time at their house while mum was in hospital... then recovering) but even they had to be registered first... (and they had a quick register thing for 'emerganices' where it has to go through quick)

Why isn't the CM contacting social services?

oh thanks Nanny L thats very good to know , see the thing is I don't know the ins and out of what is allowed and I know in some cultures its very usual to send children to live abroad for better education etc, but a mother who works at the nursery did tell me last year that they were unable to do a home visit before the oldest one started there as the father was very evasive about when he could do it so they were unable to even check the home addresses and that would have been last September.

I know its a little weird that my CM has not reported this, all I can say is that she is getting on a bit nearly sixty and her husband recently had a heart problem and she just seems to have a bit much on her plate at the moment. I think she is finding it very difficult to keep up with all the new Ofsted requirement and courses and she has 6-7 other children at part-time hours during the week , she has another local mum helping her now but I think she just seems to be stressing alot about money now as she is the only one working at home as her son and husband are'nt so I did'nt really want to keep pushing her on this on top of other things.

But it also seems that the nursery thinks something is up. Why aren't they tackling it? God, these poor kids - it seems that anyone who sems to have a modicum of a duty of care towards them is failing to observe that and you are left to do the right thing. Sorry for the rant but I'm angry for the kids and for you being put in this position.

I think it is normal for children to be sent abroad to stay with relatives in other cultures (I can think of a couple of examples of grown up friends who spent some of their childhood with grandparents abroad). However, I don't think it is normal for them to be sent abroad to be moved from pillar to post. I think this is definitely something that social services would want to know about.

Hi , Thanks to the people who replied, I did call Social Services and went through what I knew and she advised the lady I spoke to was really nice and helpful and says I have done the right thing in reporting it , she said they will send a referral for someone to visit the nursery and then try and piece together what exactly the situation is with their home life.

She said its very common in Nigerian families for this type of arrangements to take place informally , but that payments then fall behind and they children are passed around strangers and then they are sometimes in danger. She said there are proper registered fosterers that are checked through with families to stop these things happening.I feel much better now hoping that they will speak to the parents and work out what is going on.