Does anyone who a stay at mum get REALLY bored?

[emmawill]

I love my children to bits their 18 months and 5 months and I love being with them don't get me wrong but sometimes my life just seems totally about them and I get so bored of baby stuff. I just get so very bored on times not though that I would rather be anywhere else if that makes any sense.

At this age and with this age gap it's really difficult to do artsie stuff, or cooking, and so on, as both children need a lot of attention. As you've found! So don't feel bad about not doing it. The bet time I found for doing that sor tof thing with my elder was when the younger was napping.

But what you're describing is why I suggested AE. The children are off your hands for a while - the creche staff will mop up, change nappies, comfort and entertain for a couple of hours, while you get some mental stimulation and adult company. A real breath of fresh air.

You don't have to do a formal qualification, or something that will 'lead somewhere'. I did things like pottery, painting, sewing, mosaic making. The children still wear some of the clothes I made, as does dh . Some of the pottery I made is on display in the living room (or at least it was until we moved house, and once we have a living room again it will go up on display again). Real and pleasing reminders of life and achievements outside these four walls.

When I started the very first course, ds was 12m and I had never succeeded in leaving him in a creche for more than 20m before. I couldn't believe it that the staff didn't need to call me for the whole two hours, and when I went to collect him he was contented. Boy, did I hug those ladies! It was such a liberation!

Actually, I think you're probably right FOTM! I enjoy doing stuff with dd so much because I don't do it full time.

wish i could stay at home....

Hmmm come to think of it prettycandles I would quite like to learn to sew. I'll have to find out I have a feeling though that my local college doesn't have a creches but evening class would be good too, at least its something to look forward to once a week. Thanks I'll have to check out what courses are on offer.

I don't but my two have pretty busy lives. Dd1 does swimming one day, sn kindy two mornings and kindy two days a week, I am involved in the kindy parent committee, I am a new parent contact person for a support group I belong to. My two are ow almost 4 and 19 months. I love being at home with them. Housework etc gets done at a bare minimum - we are off to the park, doing things at home, paying silly games and sometimes just chilling out.

Perhaps when the 5 month old is asleep - bring out the paints or things like that - I used to be worried about dd1 getting too messy etc and now I realise they love it and so do I.

I guess though - when both of mine are asleep of an afternoon ( sometimes get 2 hours) I can do things like sewing and such like.

However it is not for everyone - Have a friend whose two are around my two's age and she has gone back to work because that is what she wants to do.

have to say - not an earth mother type although my children are amazing I have to work hard at being a mum... BUT after 15 years teaching high school to some teenagers who couldn't care less - refreshing break.

I,ve benn a SAHM for past 3 yrs , DS age 5 & nearly 4

Like Eidsvold , I am not an 'earthe mother' and have to work hard at it sometimes, howver what made me realise I did the right thing by being a SAHM was the first day of school for my eldest.

I realised that staying at home to look after hem in their early years was very precious to me adn I would never get that time back ahere we could go off and do things as we wnated. We are now restricted by school hours and holidays, I will feel the pinch even more when DS2 starts school in September.

If finances allows you to be a SAHM make the most of this time with your children before they start school, you will never have it again.

I had been a SAHM for 14 years although I was fostering for 12 of those years too.

Since giving that up 2 years ago I have been pretty bored being at home all day with 2 little ones and 3 older ones at school.

So, I took a part-time evening job on 3 eves a week. Really hectic and means I have to be more organised about things but I do so much better having a deadline to work to. Love it. And it fits in with dh's shifts so I don't need child care.

An evening course is always good if you want to try a new skill?

I'm a sahm as I would have to pay for childcare for 2 childern and I wouldn't earn enough to afford the childcare. I think I might possibly have a bit of pnd to have made an appointment for docs this afternoon.

dja know what, i tried to study while working fulltime and found it really hard because the rest of my life was so interesting. now i'm doing it again while p/t working and looking after ds (and the housework, yada yada) and the rest of my life is so dull I just BURN to get at my exciting studying. Sad but true.

I think you're in a really really tough place with 18 mo and 5mo. Can I recommend a local babysitting circle, maybe start one if there isn't one. If you don't have to pay for babysitters it is so blimmin liberating, you can just go for a half at the pub or a walk for a bit with dp/dh.

I've been a sahm for nearly 13 - did I say 13 years and have mostly loved it. However now that my 4th is 2.5 I'm definitely looking forward to expanding my horizons a bit. It's the tedious constancy of the clearing up etc that gets to me (I have a cleaner for the big jobs).

For now I'm making a bit of pocket money by selling books on Amazon; I'm enjoying the challenge of generating a bit of cash from things we've finished with, plus a few bargains sourced from charity shops. Obviously it's really flexible, though hardly a real mental workout, which i think is what I need...

Do you know how I would go about setting up a babysitting circle?

Do you know how I would go about setting up a babysitting circle?

Hi Emmawill,
Just wanted to add that I really understand how you feel. I just have one dd who is 2, and I go NUTS with boredom. I would go back to work in a flash but unfortunately not possible where we live. I know I have been priveleged to be with her for all this time (and lots of people would give their right arms for this opportunity etc etc) but it gets so lonely and sometimes I just can't face another day of the same old dreariness.

My ideal would be a part time job and dd in nursery because she also gets bored being with mummy all the time, she needs other children her own age.

How did you get on at the doctor's? I hope you're feeling a little better, I can't imagine how I would manage with 2 so young.

Feel free to CAT me if you want a chat.

Thanks footprint got the doctors at 5:20pm I'm not sure if its pnd or not but I've just had a bad couple of weeks the first few months where fine I lived being with them just the last few have got to me I haven't been coping aswell but there again I do have other problems with my children and it could be that. Thank you.

YES. My answer was to go back to work. I had 1 year off with first and 2 with second and I was itching to get back. nursery fees are a killer but I look at the long term benefits. My job is one where if I was out of it for more than a few years I'd really struggle to get back in. I know I couldn't sit at home whilst they are both at school, I needed to work. Its not for everyone, I wasn't an earth mother type either and loathed coffee mornings and play groups with a passion. My friend is the opposite though, loves all that and hates being back at work. neither solution is the right one, its just what works for you. Have you thought about going part time, or studying?

babysitting circle: I've only joined an existing one. it started i think with a group of 5 parents who knew each other and has expanded through word of mouth - it's kept very local so there's no problem about getting to each other's houses. each household gets 20 tiddlywinks to start with, and either earns or pays for 30 mins babysitting with each tiddlywink. i.e. sitting from 7.30 - 10.15 earns or costs 6 tokens. there needs to be a coordinator but in our group they just host a meeting about once a year at most so that new members can meet others, and help anyone who's running out of tokens find more 'work'. otherwise a list of numbers is typed up and sent out and we ring each other to make arrangements. in our circle it's assumed that the male partners will not sit unless specified. i'm actually quite uncomfortable with that as a principle but not enough to challenge it. HTH

no fair enough. at least one of the members quite often has the sittee over to her house in the evening rather than sitting in others' houses. but tbh within the circle there are perhaps 4 people I would ask to babysit, all of whom ds knows, though i'd agree that's no guarantee of safety. we've never done crb checks that i'm aware of.

Unfortunaley I don't know any other mums in my area. My mum and dad sometimes babysit and though not on a regular basis as they find the two of them very hard work. But its always a well needed night out.