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Five years yesterday . . . seems so far away. . . just a rant

12 replies

expatinscotland · 04/07/2006 11:57

Five years ago yesterday, I was in the waiting period for a divorce after a long separation, a relationship was out of control and a dear friend - the love of my best friend's life and my ex h's best friend - was killed in a single car accident en route to Devil's Tower, Gillette, Wyoming.

All our lives changed forever. He was like hte lynchpin holding so many of us together.

Less than a year later, my life in utter shambles, I arrived in Edinburgh w/the clothes on my back and a thousand demons hot at my heels. I didn't leave Denver, I fled.

Rich, I know you're in a better place - climbing and riding the mountains of your dreams. But we miss you here.

I wear your necklace still, but I know your spirit is too strong to stay close. It has to live on the same wind we scattered your ashes on.

Much love, Spicegirl.

OP posts:
suzywong · 04/07/2006 12:18
NotAnOtter · 04/07/2006 12:19

You have come a long way!

expatinscotland · 04/07/2006 12:20

it feels really strange now. sometimes i dream i am back in that stage of life.

just today, whilst walking, i was thinking about the concerns we still have w/DD1's development.

and then i thought about what it was like when she was not here.

and in a flash i was back in the flat on logan street, living that life, wondering what was going to happen next and knowing that if i kept on living as i was then, i'd not be long in this world.

here today, gone tomorrow, that's the lesson i took away from rich's death.

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Beauregard · 04/07/2006 12:21

Sorry to hear all that expat!
Hope things are better for you now .
To be honest i found it quite upsetting to read but i too lost someone close, 3 years ago my ds committed suicide so i know how a sudden death can effect people no matter what the circumstances!

expatinscotland · 04/07/2006 12:26

i'm sorry for your loss, pelvic

never a day goes by that i take for granted anymore or waste time.

rich left school at 16, to support his mother and sister after his father abandonded the family, but he was one of the most well-read, educated and intelligent people i've had the good fortune to meet.

he used to always say that death was the way we learn about the importance of life.

i have him to thank for mine.

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poisson · 04/07/2006 12:27

expat
you are like dolly parton a little
;)

expatinscotland · 04/07/2006 12:29

oh bullshit, poisson! i dont have the money or the boobs. lol! or much else.

she has some cool tunes, though, and NO ONE can sing 'i will always love you' like her. well, she wrote it!

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expatinscotland · 04/07/2006 12:31

dolly doesn't suffer fools gladly, though, fish, and neither do it.

as dr. phil says, 'you're burning daylight!'

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Beauregard · 04/07/2006 12:31

just realised that reads as dear son ,it was my sister who died.
Thanks expat

poisson · 04/07/2006 12:33

adn she has a mean line in theme parks
" have oyu got a theme park oooooh id lov a theme park"

KTeePee · 04/07/2006 12:35

Expat, I opened your thread because my ds was born 5 yrs ago yesterday....circle of life, huh?

Happy 4th July btw!

expatinscotland · 04/07/2006 12:39

he'd have said something like that, kt

oh, yeah, it's the 4th. i forgot!

ooo, i'd love a 4th of july BBQ.

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