How to approach a friend with depression and possible hoarding issues?

[Loopylala7]

A good friend of mine has a history of depression, they sometimes talk about it, but I don't like to press the subject unless they open up to it. This friend never invites our close circle round to theirs, which I've always found a little strange, but I guess hosting isn't for everyone. A mutual friend went to her house recently and told me that they were really shocked at how dirty it was - it's a fairly new house and our friend lives there her DP. They do not have children, and DP works from home. I also learnt that she quit a new job a few weeks ago, with nothing to go to which is completely out of character. I'm very concerned about her, but don't know how to approach the subject? I imagine if I turned up with some marigolds and a duster this would be met badly, especially as she doesn't live alone, it would be like a slur on her DP not stepping up. What would you do?

Have you talked to her? I'd ask if she's ok and tell her you are concerned that she's left he job. I wouldn't let her know your mutual friend has been talking about the state of her house though. See what she says and go from there.

To be faire our mutual friend said it in a concerned way rather than being gossipy. I saw her for food about 3 weeks ago and we talked about her new job and she seemed really happy. We also discussed her DPs work and all seemed good, so I'm completely confused in how everything appears to have u turned so suddenly?

No I didn't mean you were being gossipy. I think you could say to her that your friend mentioned she'd left her job without having a new one to go to, and you are concerned about her. If she is not in a good place I am sure she would be very grateful to have the opportunity of someone to talk to. Re the house thing I'd leave that til it is in context IYSWIM - she might say she's not coping with the practicalities in which case you can mention your marigolds

I think that maybe it would be best for you to just keep in touch with her very regularly.
Have her round to yours, invite her to lunch, txt or ring regularly and speak to her in general terms about life and how she is doing.
Perhaps steer the subject towards her work and see if she opens up to you about it.
I think showing her general support and friendship is more important that tackling specific issues straight away.
Persevere gently even if she turns down invites or doesn't always want to chat.
Going in heavy handed (not nastily) and pointing out that you have noticed that she might be having issues with specific areas might be upsetting to her.
I think general increased support and friendship might be a better approach.
And yes, if she specifically mentions struggling to cope with the house I think you should offer to help if you want to.
I'm glad she has good friends who want to support her :)