very upset - just need to get it out my system

[warthog]

a complicated story, but the upshot is that an aquaintance that i know through my dh's work has written my dh a very offensive email. she's obviously not quite right in the head and the mail is mostly to do with work but at the end she relates a dream she had in order to describe her state of mind:

she is riding over to our flat with her cat which is nervous and vomitting. she lets the cat in through our window and the cat smothers and kills our dd.

i'm very, very upset about this. the background is very complicated and boring and i know that this woman has lots of problems. but really, to write such an email in a professional capacity and talk about harming someone's child is just not on. i know she won't do anything, i'm not worried about that at all but just need to vent really.

thanks for reading...

Years ago the police had to get involved with DH's problems. They were very sensitive and focussed as much, if not more, on supporting me. they left me lots of advice on people I could access help from.

At the end of the day, your primary concern has to be your own family. Please don't lose sight of that.

I agree, you do have to report this, she needs help and you and your dh absolutely shouldn't have to put up with it or shoulder responsibility for her health. Your dh's company have a responsibility to him though and they employed her, consultant or no consultant and presumably she sent it to a work email address? Good luck, it sounds horrible.

we had someone in court who was charged wiht thread to kill............................................. by text!

wow!

thanks for the support. feeling better

A long time ago I worked with someone with mental health problems, and it was extremely stressful for everyone working in his team, even if they were not being personally "targeted" by him. Your dh absolutely MUST report this to his line manager at the very least and get his manager to take advice from HR. I would also tell her husband (if he will listen) - your dh could always print off a copy of the email and give it to him, with a covering note, if raising it verbally will be difficult. I personally wouldn't involve the police yet - but obviously you would have to consider this if things escalate.

I wouldn't have thought the police would do anything at all, but this is totally inappropriate behaviour in a work-place, and your husband's senior management should be informed.

Surely they will take action, they don't want to pay a 'consultant' who can damage the relationship with their own employees. I hope she doesn't have any contact with customers!!

Really, he MUST pass a copy of this to his senior manager immediately.

Good idea to show her husband the email so he realises exactly why your dh is concerned and has some insight into how his wife is behaving. Although you can't tell how he will react, you have to give him the information and at least give him a chance of helping his wife/ understanding why there is a problem.

And important for the company to know this too, and have her behaviour on record. Perhaps dh could press the bosses to ensure whoever referred her for this work as part of her recovery is aware of it, too?

If the company treat it as trivial, that's when I'd go to the police so they also have it on record.

it's sorted now. she phoned last night to apologise. she hadn't realised how it came across and she explained a bit of the background and why she sent the mail. she is getting help and her husband knows. the company senior management know too, and it's all being sorted out on the work side. phew!

thanks for the support on here - really helped me!