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Original poster

my 2 and a half year old says she is lonely [sad]

17 replies

chocolatemummy · 29/06/2006 15:05

My dayghter is very good at the childminders, pretty good at nursery and although she plays up when i am around, outside and inside the home she is getting better and we seem to be able to difuse most situations.
But, the last few times I have driven home with her, when we approach the house she starts saying "no mummies house" and gets upset, yesterday she got really upset when we got home and I calmed her and asked why she didnt like it her and she said she was lonely and didnt have anyone to play with!
It broke my heart !
truth is, i don't really know anyone in this area and she is obviously not at school yet so we haven't really met anyone. I work most days and the only otddler groups I started going to i stopped because we live in a strange place where everyone seems to have lived all their lives and all know eachother and i just felt very out of place. I have tried to meet people and I really want to make some friends for her but what else can i do. Was thinking of getting a little dog to keep her company, she might look forward to coming home then!

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Original poster
chocolatemummy · 29/06/2006 15:07

sorry about all the typing errors, think you can work out what its mean't to say

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Nemo1977 · 29/06/2006 15:08

think the dog is a good idea. dont feel bad as she is with childminder and nursery so gets to socialise with other children a lot.

bluejelly · 29/06/2006 15:08

My dd is an only child and I'm a single mum. Things will get better when she goes to school and has more social engagements ( parties, teas etc)
In the meantime, if you can handle it, a dog or a cat could be a nice addition to the family?

expatinscotland · 29/06/2006 15:09

aw, mummy!

how about adopting an elderly cat or one that needs to be an only cat?

or getting a small pet like a hamster?

loujay · 29/06/2006 15:09

Hi,
Do you have a park nearby that you could take her to after work??
Then she could play with other children and you could try and get chatting to mums/carers.

Original poster
chocolatemummy · 29/06/2006 15:13

we have a cat but she is 13 and doesn't want to know her.
I have a park OPPOSITE my house, one of the reason we bought this house actually but nobody talks to you and most of the time its just older kids, teenagers etc.
thinking the dog might be nice, just got to find on that likes cats and toddlers!
I really need to meet some other mums or move I think

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Pixel · 29/06/2006 21:08

Aah, my dd did this when she was about 2. She said she wanted to go to the park "to play with other children". I still remember the way dh and I looked at each other over her head, a real lump in throat moment! (she's 10 now btw).

Are there any children at your dd's nursery that you could invite for tea one day? The 'mummys' might be more approachable one at a time rather than at toddler groups in their little cliques.

rabbitrabbit · 29/06/2006 21:15

How sad for you.
I'm in a similar situation in that 2 of my close friends (and children of similar age to my ds) moved away and my DS and I don't really have that many social events anymore where he gets to play with other children.
So, what I decided to do instead, both during the week and at weekends, was to ensure that I took him to as many places as possible that gave him the opportunity to play with other children-and that's what we do!
Parks, soft play places, local events etc and he's been fine. Even if you go to the park and encourage them to play with other children-I don't necessarily expect to speak to the parent-they benefit from it.

Good luck, it's not easy but don't be too hard on yourself either.

Yafta · 29/06/2006 21:38

Where abouts are you? Is there a class or someting you could take her to on saturdays? Keep going to the park, as there is bound to be someone there eventually.

We moved nearly 2 years ago and it has taken much of that time to build up a (small) network of friends. I think this is the case where ever you move to. What about asking at the health centre for single parent's groups? Ask a few children from nursery round to tea one saturday?

Good luck. Things will move forward you just have to perservere.

Original poster
chocolatemummy · 03/07/2006 18:53

Thankyou for your advice, I am going to try a soft play area at the local sports centre and I am going to get some advice on helping her be more sociable. i went to my parents at the weekend which is 170 miles away and had some children ( family/friends of family etc) to play with her and she couldn't really handle it, she is obviously not used to all the attention. I need to knuckle down and start a social life for us both x

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oooggs · 03/07/2006 19:14

Where abouts are you??????

Can anyone on mumsnet help??????

Original poster
chocolatemummy · 03/07/2006 19:25

I am near brighton,
I have been trying to meet up with people from here but the Brighton lot have Kid free meet ups only, which is fair enough, i am looking forward to that one! I have been trying for ages to get mums to meet up with their kids in west sussex, i met up with one who was lovely but she lives about 15 miles away and had a baby boy a lot younger than my dd,

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Pixel · 03/07/2006 21:59

I'm near Brighton too but my youngest is 6 and autistic so doesn't really 'do' playing.

When he was a baby I took him to a 'ducklings' swimming group which was a good way of meeting people with children the same age. I made friends with a mum whose son is only a couple of months older than my ds and 5 years later we still get on really well even though we don't go to the swimming group now our 'babies' are schoolboys! I found that the swimming was quite good because everyone is concentrating on their babies and joining in with the songs etc so you don't feel out of place if you don't find someone to chat with straight away. They had lots of little 'breaks' for the babies which was when the mums could chat if they wanted to. I don't know if your schedule would allow you to do something like that? The classes were at the King Alfred by the way and in a shallow pool so you don't have to be a confident swimmer yourself.

nicnack2 · 03/07/2006 22:10

my ds1 is nearly 3 and he has also said not mummies house want lynnies house (childmnder) ds2 is only 3 months. I also live countryside ans also as an older mother and not from the area have found it hard (also work partime), I quite believe he is bored a home with me, but now he is at playgroup slowly things are getting better. before long she will be begging not to go any where

Original poster
chocolatemummy · 04/07/2006 12:34

ahh thankyou, she IS bored at home with me, thats obvious. I make playdough, and set up painting, glueing etc but I guess its about having someone to do it with?
I have thursdays and friday afternoons off and I am trying to find something that goes on during those times, I have given up on this area, its a closed shop, everyonre knows eachother and I am fed up trying to get into the 'in' crowd. Dont; feel i really have much in common anyway. swmimming I will look into I think other than that soft play areas but it's boring sitting there on your own isn't it. I feel a right sad case!

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nicnack2 · 04/07/2006 15:23

dont worry i ahve sat in places on my own. once playgroup starts you will get out more with others. finally after living here for 4 years i am getting a social life and meeting other mums. Downside is now i am going back fulltime and dh is to be a sahd! ahh well jam packed weekends coming up.

Original poster
chocolatemummy · 05/07/2006 18:14

Pixel
thats interesting, I work with autistic people. Young adults though, I manage a day service within a small residential and outreach company.

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