Fairly deep for this time of day but.. who are you??

[essbee]

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I mostly see/define other people by their level of approachability, kindness and down-to-earthedness. And their eyes.
Training courses are torture. I once had to endure a room full of people squirming in turn as they were forced to recount 'something funny that has happened to you' to a group full of strangers.

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Me
I'm lost a bit, wanting things but lacking the courage to go get them.
other people... usually better than me, I know however this is not always true

I characterise myself above all by my job (and by my more specific interests within that job)and as my dds' mum. Which of those I'd use to define myself to others would obviously depend on the context. I see myself (in both, and indeed all, contexts) as a listener, someone in whom people can confide. I see myself as a 'fixer', someone who tries to make other people happy. But I also see myself as a worrier, as someone who struggles to be (and doesn't quite succeed in being) as good as she'd like to be, as a disorganised person desperately clinging to some vestige of organisation. I see myself as a physically unattractive person with unfeasibly beautiful children!

I think I see other people above all by how they are with me. Whether they are open and friendly and accepting is much more important to me than what they do, where they're from, whether or not they have children, etc.

sometimes i define myself by the fact that i'm a mum to lots of children, or a mum who doessn't believe in smacking, shouting, sometimes I define myself by profession or academic achievement, sometimes I define myself by political beliefs, particularly when i encouter the daily mail(eek), sometimes i'm a person who is ugly , fat and has no friends, sometimes i define myself by being a feminist, sometimes define myself by my interests. Far too often i define myself as someone who worries too much what others think of her.

What a good topic

Oh, I dunno. Some bloody woman.

I think I'm a knackered frumpy middle aged mother of 2 but at work I think I'm considered energetic and focussed.

when i read the thread title, I immediately said 'a mum' in my head....

and that has made me think...

When I saw this question I firstly thought of my personality and what's going on in my life. Then kids and dh. I think I'm slightly crazy, sometimes quiet and into myself, mostly outgoing. Lots of stress in my life. Interested in others and their lives. Sociable and sometimes too outspoken. Say what I mean. In a quandry about the future...with dh...and also going back to college. Getting very irritable lately and shouting too much at DS1 as I can't cope with his negativity I think I need to grow up a bit tbh.

Scatty.

I usually define myself by my paid work first. Am sometimes concerned that's a bad priority.

except, i spend more time on mumsnet than on any worknet, does that count as a family orientation?

also feminist, lefty, wannabe greeny.

Dunno yet.

strong capable woman - moulded and honed by my responses to the hand fate has dealt me. Can be vulnerable, dependable, Like a swan - calm and serene above water ( paddling like the clappers below the surface )different and yet the same, outgoing and yet shy - A mass of contradictions.

Type of person they are.

Mum to two fabulous dds
wife to wonderful dh
sister and daughter
friend, confidante
teacher, student

OOh this is interesting!

I guess first of all i would define myself as a Mother. That has been my most important fulfiling role to date and ever i beleive.

I also think i'm a bit strange and wonder what the f* dp really makes of me half the time.

When i was little i dreamt of the white wedding, the strong man taking care of me, the being able to just be 'looked after'.
In reality i am so the opposite, not romantic at all, outspoken and can look after myself thankyou very much. Feircely protective of my family.
I think i've gone through more tough times than any of my children will ever have to and in a small way, that worries me.
What will toughen them up?
I guess i'd say i was independant, strong and a bit pig headed but a loyal friend !

I am a wife, a professional, an academic and a student but none of these things tell you anything about me. My job is just a job. I love it and it's fulfilling, but it's not 'me'. For example, my colleague is a 55yr old spinster, she has 75 cats and likes to talk about shelving, we couldn't be any more different. BUT, we have the same job, academic credentials etc.

I define myself by the real choices I make, how I spend my free time, the things I don't have or need to do. So...

I am a photographer, writer, artist, story-teller, cook, camper, musician, festival-goer. I make my own clothes and I eat a lot of gingerbread. I'd rather make a card than buy it, I prefer letters to email and texts and I always wear flat shoes. Any one of these small things will tell you a hundred times more about me than the fact that I am an academic librarian or that I am married to that bloke over there.

In fact, though I say I am defined by the things I don't have or need to do, I would say that I actually need to do these frivolous things more than I need to work, precisely because they make me who I am.

Oh and I waffle.

Grumpy and miserable!

Great thread essbee - fascinating.
It is hard to think about how I identify other people. The people that I know well, I identify and almost categorise in so many different ways. It is more about how they relate to me, than what they themselves do, if that makes sense.
As for myself, I have various different roles to which I bring the skills that I have. So, my style of parenting demands one set of skills, my work demands another set, being a daughter & sister another set and so on. So I see myself defined by the skills and qualities that I have and the role that I am fulfilling at any particular moment.

I really related to your post Showofhands. I feel much the same. It's the little things rather than the big things. I hate when someone asks what I 'do' and reply full time mum and then they ask what I did before. It's as if they are trying to pigeonhole me into something in their mind rather than ask What I think of something or how would I do something.

I am amum to four girls,
a lost soul who wants to find me instead of being the chief bottle washer, cook cleaner etc
outwardly wonder what the other mums make of me -some were surprised when they found out that I am well educated --degree / masters level as look a complete sham at the school gates.
I believe that we judge too much on first /outward appearances.
I am happy to be the stay at home mum but looking forward to be the working mum too iyswim.
sorry bit waffley and probably does'nt answer the question!

I am loved.
I am missed.
I am a lucky man.

I am happy, kind, humourous, funny (strange!)complex, full of admiration for my mum, and mother of 3, wife of and a MNer

I am me

I am a mom
I am a wife
I am a friend
I am a daughter
I am a sister
I am a pita (at times)

I think I must be a strong person cause I have so much crap thrown at me and yet im still here and would say that I was happy with my life.

I am number 1

Interseting topic!

I get annoyed when i go home to visit, as, because a lot of people don't know me now, i get introduced as
"X'x big sister" and it annoye me because i have my own identity!
My husband is in the RAF and i get introduced as "Cpl Saltire's wife" again it annoys me - i ave a name FGS.
Other people, including my friends see me as Ds's mother/"just" a childminder. They form their opinions of me based on the fact that i work from home looking after other peoples kids

I define myself as a wife to my DH, a mother to my Ds's, a daughter and sister, an aunt to my nephews and my baby niece. I also consider myself as a "childcarer" when asked to describe my career. I have a long standing desire to be a writer, i am stubborn, i always think that no one likes me. I could go on but i think i've waffled enough

I am an idealist