I. as some of you know, have my recently bereaved mil staying with me atm. Lovely lady in general and I get on well with her and she is doing her best to keep busy and is only weeping very occasionally.
However, I went to my brothers 40th birthday on Saturday night and completely forgot what age I was and drank myself silly and stayed up til 6am, yes I know I don't actually deserve any sympathy whatsoever.
So today was the first day that I've actually spent the whole day with her on my own and the poor old thing keeps on repeating herslef so I'm hearing the same stories all day. She giving out so much about dp's ex that I'm almost standing up for her!!
Now she is my mil so there is that undercurrent of that I'm not actually looking after her boys(dp and dss) quite as well as I should be. And she has intimated that I'm a bit of a wastrel for not liking fake flowers and spending a whole £3 a week on fresh ones. But generally she is ok.
Tonight there was a bit of a flashpoint when as I was cooking mil said she wouldn't mind trying Quorn in the shepards pie I'm making ( I was going to make 2 one with, one witout as dp and dss are veggies). This is progress as mil doesn't like foreign food, including pasta, we eat almost exclusively foreign food, ho hum, the poor old thing has just lost her dp so of course there is no problem cooking plain food for a little while.
So dss comes in and says that he wants olive oil mash(he wont eat butter), so I freak out as I'm trying to please everyone and am feeling ill and stressed out and am going on a business trip in the morning and still haven't packed.
So I was in a steamy kitchen about to cry and I thought 'fuck it, I am going to take one of dp's diazepam' (he was prescribed them for a bad knee) and now everything feels just a little bit bearable.
Thanks for listening if you have got this far. I know I sound selfish but our house is tiny and we have given her our bedroom so I have nowhere to go to escape.