Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Other subjects
Original poster

My Bitch of a MIL has just refused to let me talk to my husband and put the phone down on me grrrrrrrr (Sorry, its Tamba again)

51 replies

LadyTambaOfTambaTown · 27/06/2006 18:28

Silly, selfish, immature twunt that she is

First time we have spoken since he moved out. I phoned cause I want to talk to H about how DS1 is (he had a poorly tummy)

Me: Hello, can i speak to xxxx please
Her: Who is it?

She bloody well knows who it is

Me: Its Sarah
Her: Oh, well No you cant
Me: Why not
Her: Because I say so

WTF

Me: Oh, right... well please tell him I called and ask him to ring back.
Her: No

And puts the phone down.

I am thinking of having 20 large pizzas delievered to her house. She is a prize prat. No wondered her son is a knob.

OP posts:
Toothache · 27/06/2006 21:10

Tamba!

Have you always had a bad relationship with her????????

Why is she behaving like that?

My soon to be EX MIL is falling over backwards to be nice to be now.... as she knows I'm her only link to the kids!

Are you kids close to her? I mean, would they miss her really if they didn't see her?

LadyTamba · 27/06/2006 21:49

I thought we always got on well. We used to go shopping and ive stayed over at hers loads when H has been on nights etc...

I think its because she thinks im being unreasonable - she needs to accept that what is reasonable to her isnt to me.

I had to call her again a few minutes ago to tell him my moms car had broken and she needed a lift... She answers and I said (all nice!) "Hi can you put xxxxx on please" phone goes silent, was about to put it down when H came on a few minutes later.

Kids have always been close to her and are round there loads.

Caligula · 27/06/2006 21:55

You'll just have to disguise your voice in future.

What an unreasonable old hag.

I'm too annoyed to make excuses for her. I don't care how unfair she thinks you're being, it is (almost) never reasonable to refuse a mother permission to speak to her children. (Unless it's 3 o'clock in the morning or something mad - hey, it wasn't, was it, Tamba? )

Toothache · 27/06/2006 21:58

Lady Tamba - I hope the xxxxx there was replacing the words "pathetic fucking twat that hides behinds his mother".... now THAT would be a sentence to say and it would be totally WORTH her hanging the phone up!

Toothache · 27/06/2006 21:58

Lady Tamba - I hope the xxxxx there was replacing the words "pathetic fucking twat that hides behinds his mother".... now THAT would be a sentence to say and it would be totally WORTH her hanging the phone up!

LadyTamba · 27/06/2006 21:59

Am in a childish vindictive mood and am tempted to phone again and tell him he can come home... as long as its right away and he brings the kids...

Then I could say that as shes been such a bitch we're not seeing her anymore... but then I would be stuck with H so maybe not the best idea!

She things she is sooooo important and is so confident that she can dicate the rules of access etc... and as for going for residency - she doesnt stand a chance (does she? )

They only way would be to make me out to look like an unfit mother... and DS has already come home and asked me if im drunk (I dont drink) so I think that might be her plan.

I am trying so hard to keep things nice... and im not the bad guy!

Toothache · 27/06/2006 22:02

Tamab - She will not get residency! As far as I know.... she can't even try to get that.

Don't take your H back just to spite her!!!!!!!!!

Tell them both to get to F* and if they can't be civil then contact will be made through (a rather expensive) Solicitor!

Are you up for fighting fire with fire? If you are... I'm twitching to to help!

Do you have my new home email address?

Toothache · 27/06/2006 22:02

Who's Tamab?

LadyTamba · 27/06/2006 22:10

I dont have your addy Toothy (mines [email protected])

Ive been perfectly nice so far, he comes over when he wants to, eats his tea here, watches telly etc...

Ive let him see the kids as and when he wants - its been every single day since he moved out. Hes also had them overnight 4 times in the last 2 weeks and plans to have them for most of this week as hes off work.

I dont want things to get nasty, but why should I continue being so nice when he wont defend me to his family (hes happy to let them think im the evil wife from hell) and they have all (including bil & sil, have also been uninvited from family wedding etc) totally turned against me. MIL is hanging out the flags that shes got her boys back and tbh im sick of being the good little wife that holds everything together, that manages... that hasnt contacted the CSA cause im too nice... and im lonely. They all have each other, who do I have?

Sorry, that turned into a bit of a moan

Toothache · 27/06/2006 22:13

Tamab - STOP pandering to his needs.... you have no obligation to feed him etc. He's quite happy to have everyone believe you are EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL (as is my H) but you're acting as though you feel guilty for making him leave. NO NO NO NO NO... you did the right thing, if his family want to behave like arseholes going on the information your H provides then let him suffer the consequence!

Caligula · 27/06/2006 22:14

Sound to me like you've got all the inconvenience of having him there without any of the benefits. Worst of all worlds.

LadyTamba · 27/06/2006 22:21

Its partly my own fault though, becuase as sad as it sounds I really miss the company so I maybe make it easier for him to be here by cooking etc. He could be anyone though, I just like having someone here. Have never ever been on my own before.

flutterbee · 27/06/2006 22:24

Tamba I can't believe this bitch, the damn cheek of the woman. If I was you I would have been straight back on the phone demanding to speak with ex dh and kids and if she kept putting the phone down I would have just kept ringing, but then people hanging up on me is one of my pet hates.

I suspect that your dh has fed her loads of crap about how you never fed him and locked him in the coal shed etc etc. The woman needs a good kick up the backside.

What happened with the drunk comments I didn't see the end of the last thread.

fattiemumma · 27/06/2006 22:32

Tamba - tell me the details of her sordid life and I'LL tell her competitors. cant stand people like her. how bloody dare she.

I can understand why you want to remian civil but it doesnt look like she ia as mature.
I would have rung her back and told her she eithe rout my child on the phone or i would come and collect them.
she has no right to stop you speakign to them.

but then, i dont get one with my XMIL so i gues im a bit bias

suejonez · 27/06/2006 22:33

Just emailed you Tamba to arrange lunch

Auntymandy · 27/06/2006 22:36

does he know ds is poorly?

LadyTamba · 27/06/2006 23:00

Thanks Sue, will email you back

Yes he knew DS wasnt well as he'd been off nursery today, although is better now.

My mom rang them a little while ago as plans had changed for him picking her up tommorrow and Id had enough of them being arses so she called to talk direct to him instead of me calling him then calling her etc... he answered the phone so I dont nkow how mil would have reacted.

He just called me to say good night and I told him that if he wants to get anywhere with us sorting things out then he needs to talk to his mother. Tonight. Because I at least need him to show mw that he puts me first. Hes scared of her though. All I want is a bit of respect and manners cost nothing.

FlutterBee - Dh found it amusing and declared that his precious mother would never had said anything like that....

kitbit · 28/06/2006 09:44

If you're worried about MIL trying to undermine you with the kids (the drinking question) with possible dark motives of residency, keep a diary of all such little incidents then if heaven forbid the time ever comes not only can you show you had rumbled her nasty plan but you can refute any accusations of drunkenness, loud parties, hoardes of young boyfriends etc etc! You can also expose her manipulation of the kids which will NOT go down well with any official people involved!
She is a total loon and I think you are being very calm and nice about it!

Cappucino · 28/06/2006 09:49

kitbit that's spooky I was just going to say that!

don't do anything wrong, ever, Tamba, don't put a foot wrong if you can possibly help it. Be nice as nice as nice.

And write everything down in your little diary so that if this ever does end up in a legal row, you're all prepared and you are the mature and responsible one

Cappucino · 28/06/2006 09:50

do think that maybe you should have an initial chat with a solicitor tho just so you know where you stand

LadyTamba · 28/06/2006 10:04

I will deffo do the diary idea. As for talking to a soliciter - I dont have one (and arnt they really expensive?)

Was woken up this morning by H just wandering in to collect something, I meant to ask whether he had spoken to his mother but was half asleep so didnt say anything at all.

Will make sure i talk to him about it later. I dont think she could make me out to look like a bad parent simply because im not iyswim.

I think she is a control freak. I do actually feel quite sorry for H cause hes not strong enough to stand up to her which makes me think hes being a little pathetic which makes him all the more unattractive to me (we are supposed to be wanting to work things out)

Cappucino · 28/06/2006 10:06

I think that you can have an initial consultation, or a conversation with a solicitor free

we had to ring one the other day because we weren't sure if we were going to need legal advice. dh chatted on the phone with him and he gave us a bit of advice, and let us know when the right time would be to consider involving a solicitor, but it didn't cost us anything

put our minds at rest as well

Jahan · 28/06/2006 10:33

I really admire you, Tamba, for continuing to be nice to her.
Nothing annoys a witch more than that as they will never be able to justify being a nasty cow.

HappyDaddy · 28/06/2006 11:46

Well done, Tamba, for continuing to try do to what you think is best for your family. Especially when they are both being such arses. You are stronger than you think and feelings of loneliness are to be expected, it's weird not having your partner around, even if you were miserable when they were around.

Only just found this thread so apologies if I'm way out of date, or out of line. Keep up the good work.

mumbum · 28/06/2006 11:50

Poor Lady T. As tempting as it would be to send the MIL something from this site present for uptight MIL and then get the postman to do an interview for local paper, I think it best to stay cool and mature - makes her look more of a prize monkey! Next time you phone I would just point out that you understand that she is just trying to stick up for her son as you would probably feel the same if it were your son but whether she likes it or not, there are children involved and they have to come first, not her petty grievances.