Supposed to be back at work today after 2 weeks off sick, and I just don't think I can do it.

[TheOriginalNutcracker]

I'm supposed to be in this afternoon, and then all day wed/thurs.

I was signed off with stress because of dd2. She has depression, anxiety, eating disorder, self harms and took an overdose a few weeks ago.

She is getting help, seeing camhs once a week, but it is very slow going, and I feel worn out with it all. I have to monitor her every move, and I'm supposed to supervise all meals.

I'm on anti depressants myself, have been for a few years, but recently had to have them upped as I didn't feel like I was coping.

I have recently sent off a claim for DLA for dd2, but I'm not at all hopeful of her being awarded it.

I just don't know wether I am coming or going atm, and work, where I have to be all happy and smiley, is the last place I want to be, but at the same time, I feel bad for letting them down.

Any advice ? I just don't know what to do anymore.

I don't know what job you do or how many hours but could it be that a few hours respite from your home situation will help?
Home sounds very stressful and will still be there when you finish work but it might give your brain some "time off".
I'd give it a try.

I think you need to go back to your doctor and ask to be signed off for a further period of time if that is possible. You are not letting your work down - you are coping with an immeasurable amount of worry and you wont be able to do your job properly anyway so they, if they are reasonable employers, would rather have to organise someone to stand in or work it between them than having you there being not up to parr.

Are you getting any support yourself apart from anti-depressants?

I think you need to, while you are at the doctors, start insisting on getting some further help for and with your DD. This is too much for you to manage on your own and there is no wonder you are at breaking point.

Quite frankly, your DD needs you at home and this should be fascilitated for you - if you threw your hand up in the air and said to the authorities that you can no longer cope with her, she may well be taken into residential care and that would cost far more than supporting you as her carer.

I hope you get some support soon - don't beat yourself up over work, they will understand x

cross posts with hilly who has given a different view, and whilst i agree that getting out to work would be respite, the worry of leaving DD would be too much for me to actually achieve that - In an ideal world there should be someone to care for DD when the OP goes to work, but i doubt that will be possible :( Its a very difficult situation.

Camhs keep asking me if i can cope with dd, and I say yes, because I can cope with her when I am here, and I know if i say no they would take her into hospital.

I thought of finding a job with less hours, like dinner lady or something, but then someone said i'd still have to claim jsa vos i'd not be working enough hours (i'm a lone parent).

I'm not having counselling or anything no.

My gp did say she'd be happy to sign me off for longer. I think I just hoped I'd be ok by now.