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Original poster

my inlaws buy ds presents to take to there home

23 replies

trace2 · 25/06/2006 18:24

does any one elses inlaws do this? since they bought ds fisrt birthday present, ans every one after and christmas presents, they give him at our home and then take them home for him to use there! he only goes on a sat from 1,30 to 5.

i dont feel right about it, last christmas he got upsat when they went home he wanted to play with what they had got, so when we went the week after we told them, the answer we got was (are you trying to make us feel guilty), well it didnt work, ds just had his 4th birthday, and guess what happened?

OP posts:

2shoes · 25/06/2006 18:28

how weird/ I think I would rather they didn't bother. a lilltl tot would not be able to understand their logig(i am 45 and I don't)

clairemow · 25/06/2006 18:30

wouldn't it work better, if they insist on doing this, to give him the gift at their house - then he might understand that it's meant to live there? does sound a bit odd though...

gigglinggoblin · 25/06/2006 18:30

either hide it next time, or ask him in front of them if he wants it to go to their house or stay at home so they can see the evidence themselves. we have toys at everyones houses but they move freely home and everywhere else. i understand why they want stuff at their house but i think they are being mean, maybe be a bit more forceful and exaggerate how upset he was. they should feel guilty for upsetting him imo.

Original poster

trace2 · 25/06/2006 18:33

he did ask this time if he could keep it here, they said no,
he as loads of toys there, and now they have started buying what we have here

OP posts:

gigglinggoblin · 25/06/2006 18:41

tell them you dont want anything from them next time and buy ds something yourself to give as their gift when they are not there. rotten old meanies.

CrocodileKate · 25/06/2006 18:46

My mother buys toys regularly for the grandkids to play with at hers but she makes it clear before getting them out that that is what they are for. These toys are completely seperate to birthday and christmas presents. Your in-laws sound like they are being very unfair on your ds.

zippitippitoes · 25/06/2006 18:49

I have toys given as presents for birthday and christmas at my house which have never made it back with dgs..eg fisher price kitchen, ball blaster, duplo etc

Original poster

trace2 · 25/06/2006 18:50

dh granparents buy him toys all the time from second shops, for when hes there!

must had they are pretty well of, and they give him 50p a week pocet money

OP posts:

sparklemagic · 25/06/2006 18:56

I think they are being very controlling, how difficult for you.

I agree with Claire, definitely tell them that you want to bring DS round to their house for his present when this comes up again next year. Explain that he finds it very difficult to let a new toy go and you think there is a possibility he MAY find it not so TRAUMATIC if the present is given at their house (lay it on thick!)

They sound reeeeeelly annoying, poor you

Original poster

trace2 · 25/06/2006 19:00

i have said to dh, when its there birthday, we will buy a mug, and when they open it,say oh its for to have a drink when you come to our house!

OP posts:

gigglinggoblin · 25/06/2006 19:00

wonderful idea trace! hahaha

sparklemagic · 25/06/2006 19:03

FloatingOnTheMed · 25/06/2006 19:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Caligula · 25/06/2006 19:08

Mean bastards.

Very very controlling. It's fair enough that they want toys at their house for him, but they should not give them to him at your house.

Mean bastards again.

[Can't get over it icon]

Tortington · 25/06/2006 19:40

yes my inlaws did this all the time " we bought toys for xxxxx to ply with when they come here"

fuck em

somepeople are cunts by nature

Tortington · 25/06/2006 19:41

oh let me tell you ............... they bought XMAS PRESENTS to open there.

we were skint xmas in our house was like " spot the present" and MIL had hers at her house

Original poster

trace2 · 25/06/2006 20:01

custardo, its crule anit it?

OP posts:

wanderingstar · 25/06/2006 20:35

Mil keeps some toys at hers for grandchildren to play with there - things older cousins have grown out of, etc. There's a special basket of little fiddly things, a few books and some puzzles. Ds3 likes her bucket of bricks best though !

She can be annoying over some issues but there's no doubt about her love for her grandchildren - she'd never "hijack" a gift to keep at hers. A gift is surely unconditional isn't it ?

wannaBe1974 · 26/06/2006 15:39

wow outragious! My mil buys lots of toys that she gives to ds if we go there and they stay at her house, but christmas/birthday presents are another matter, and she'd never bring something here and then say "oh I'll take that home with me". Tbh I'd go with the mug thing and say "well you have so many at home already".

I'd be brutally honest with her and say "either it's a present or it isn't. you don't buy presents to be played with on your terms, you buy them because you want to give a present, now either you buy him presents to play with as/when he wants, or don't bother".

wannaBe1974 · 26/06/2006 15:39

and if she asks if you're trying to make them feel guilty say "yes, because you should!"

mazzystar · 26/06/2006 15:41

i'd ask for premium bonds instead.

thewomanwhothoughtshewasahat · 26/06/2006 15:46

that sounds grim and mean. It's manipulating him into liking going to their house. Ok lots of gps buy (or inherit from their friends) toys specifically for their house - which is really nice - makes going to granny's a treat, makes it easier for you, but what they are doing is weird. they are presents FOR HIM. he lives at YOUR HOUSE - well, at HIS house tbh. HIS things belong with him. If they are HIS he should decide where to keep them. Giving him a present and then taking it away is horrible.

Somanykiddies · 26/06/2006 16:04

xh used to do this. Christmas and birthday presents always stayed at his house, they were never allowed to bring them home, it was so sad and pointless. Now he has a bedroom full of toys that the children have probably outgrown! Wouldn't mind betting they are up on ebay. Some people need to wake up and smell the coffee!

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