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Original poster

If you're content, why so?

20 replies

Salbertina · 21/09/2013 18:12

Do you think it's due to a genetic predisposition, good fortune in life, a happy childhood, having been through tough times and learnt from them, ability to be mindful or something else?

OP posts:

FurryDogMother · 21/09/2013 18:16

Having low expectations ;D That way, everything is a bonus!

Original poster

Salbertina · 21/09/2013 18:17

That'd do it! Is that in a conscious, positive way or are you resigned to it? Realism, i guess?

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Minnieisthedevilmouse · 21/09/2013 18:17

Luck mostly really I suppose. Life goes up and down but overall, all things considered, I'm lucky. Life's ok. Could be better, could be worse. I get frustrated irritated and despondent still but well, mostly those are niggles in the great scheme of things. And of my own making. The important stuff, health, relationships, kids, that sort of stuff, well it's ok. And that's good.

You? You content? :)

MummyBeerest · 21/09/2013 18:21

Ability to be mindful is my best guess. Realizing you have something good instead of worrying about the good you don't have would, effectively, be contentment.

DoItTooJulia · 21/09/2013 18:23

I'm lucky. I have a great family and some great friends. We have some worries too, but nothing of the life or death variety.

I'm also a naturally sunny person, on the whole.

bakingaddict · 21/09/2013 18:34

I find myself having a higher level of contentment in recent years by not worrying about the things I dont have and enjoying what I do have. There will always be people with more money than me able to have more flash holidays bigger houses etc etc but I still have a nice lifestyle going away on a couple of holidays a year with a great DH and 2 wonderful DCs so im pretty happy with my lot

Original poster

Salbertina · 21/09/2013 18:44

Feels a little elusive to me right now.

BA, you sound sensibly pragmatic, i know that stuff but cant actually apply it somehow. Try, try to be grateful for what i do have but still end up more often than not bitter and twisted about what i lack

OP posts:

SunnyL · 21/09/2013 18:45

Cant be genetic as my mother is never happy despite having a huge house, a healthy happy family and good health. Mind you her father was a misersble sod too.

Im a positive person by nature. I think it helps that positive people tend to attract other positive people. So my DH is a happy soul too. Our mentality tends to be if you dont like something, do something to change it andmake it better.

Original poster

Salbertina · 21/09/2013 19:01

I've read that we're genetically predisposed to be positively or negatively inclined, but that nurture, mindset, life events account for what we do with that start in life. My dm was/is a miserable so-and-so, swore never to be like her, fear I'm much worse!

OP posts:

Minnieisthedevilmouse · 21/09/2013 20:39

Well, why? I mean, have you counted blessings (for want of better term...)?

Write a list of +-. What do you have? And does anything on the - strike you as something someone else would see +?

Original poster

Salbertina · 21/09/2013 20:55

Yes i have but it's not a rational thing, is it? And how much weighting to give to each eg strong support network v nice house? I take your point but for me at least its not that simple.

OP posts:

Minnieisthedevilmouse · 22/09/2013 06:58

Well what's wrong then? Are you coveting stuff? If so what? I mean my life would be sorted if I one the lottery. I'd love a big house, nice NEW car, (indoor pool....), and armful of vb clothing, the figure to wear them, and my own stables. Sigh.... I've not thought about all that much have I?!

It's not real though. I could lose weight though out of all of it. Nah, rather have a croissant right now. (V early!) what would sort you? Or is it methods of positivity your interested in?

Minnieisthedevilmouse · 22/09/2013 06:59

Won. Won the lottery. Flipping phone....

FadBook · 22/09/2013 07:22

Same as SunnyL, I'm a very positive person. I see the bright side of most things, perhaps becoming more pessimistic as I get older

I get a lot out of being a "good person". Whether that's helping a friend out with her childcare or posting on a Facebook group/forum to help someone out. I try to give something back and this helps me feel content.

I'm content with my life because I have achieved what I wanted at the age I am. I have worked hard with my career; making sacrifices for things/lifestyle to save for a house and went through IVF to start a family.

Every decision we (DP and I) have made hasn't always been the easiest path, but we did it and it's made us stronger and very grateful for even the small things. Even now, we are careful with money, we shop at Aldi and love a bargain. We distinguish between needs and wants.

I have questioned things recently when a family member has made judgements and assumptions about me and my family as though we've had it 'easy' or were lucky also implying I'm a crap person He's just a fucking knob though and I haven't got time for people who can be nasty so easily, despite being very loyal to people even if they do fuck up sometimes.

Original poster

Salbertina · 22/09/2013 07:35

Interesting to hear people's views and journeys to where they are now.

I guess I'm not where i planned to be (i don't mean materially- no, absolutely not coveting things!), i feel deeply disappointed in my relationships (quite dysfunctional childhood) and feel I've compromises a lot especially marriage-wise. An SN child also unexpected and an increasing challenge. Trying to explain my mindset, I fully accept that many others go through worse and we all have our cross to bear.

OP posts:

MsColour · 22/09/2013 08:03

Accepting life has turned out the way it has and making the most of it. Not comparing my life to other people's.

badguider · 22/09/2013 08:06

I'm pretty content. I don't think about "what ifs".

marriedinwhiteisback · 22/09/2013 08:12

My glass is always half full; never half empty and I always look for that little bit of good in something rather than that little bit of bad. When I was growing up all I wanted was to get married and have children, have my own run around car and a spare room in a nice house. But I never expected anything to fall into my lap and when I was 21 I bought a flat to make sure I would get what I wanted even if I did through my own efforts.

What other people have be it more or less has never bothered me and I don't think I have a jealous or envious bone in me. Everything I've ever done I've learnt from.

marriedinwhiteisback · 22/09/2013 08:15

Going back to your OP - I think it's about mindset. My DH had a secure comfortable life as a child but MIL is glass half empty, bitter and jealous and had to just accept life's blows. Like not being able to go to university and going to teacher training college instead or being rich enough to follow her love of drama because she had to send money to her parents. My view is that if she'd wanted it enough, she'd have done it and I can say that about so many little things too.

JammyTodger · 22/09/2013 08:18

I think my contentedness is down to me always having liked simple stuff. I love being on my own, walking or with a good book, and this is something I can usually try and achieve when I need to. I have a few bad days with the usual niggles of job, health, etc, but I know what I need to do to alter my mood. I'm definitely quietly content rather than blissfully happy.

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