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Original poster

going to try and escape again

45 replies

CKMUM · 22/06/2006 16:08

I have finally been given a loan from the DSS and have found a flat that accepts Housing Benefit.

The only thing is the place is unfurnished, although has a cooker and carpets and I'm not sure I have enough money for removals.

Any one got any bright ideas? I need to hurry up before someone else gets the flat as it's about the only place that takes benefit without a guarantor

OP posts:
Skribble · 22/06/2006 16:10

Call in some favours and get help to move some basics in, we were very much in need of help when we got our first place and I was amazed at where furniture would appear from. Accept the flat anyway, even if you end up sleeping on a lilo.

Original poster
CKMUM · 22/06/2006 16:17

its difficult because I don't want anyone letting my husband know where I am going

OP posts:
SparklyGothKat · 22/06/2006 16:18

have you tried to get a grant from the DSS, they will pay for moving cost

misdee · 22/06/2006 16:19

freecycle.

Skribble · 22/06/2006 16:19

You will have to stick to those you trust then.
Is it far away? Whats your longest time window to get out the house? Perhaps hiring a man and a van would be enough to get your essentials out and into the new place.

Original poster
CKMUM · 22/06/2006 16:20

turned me down for grant, was really fed upa bout that, they knew it was for domestic violence but said they couldn't pay for this sort of thinga nd also that if you want money for deposits, or rent in advance it has to be loan not grant

OP posts:
Skribble · 22/06/2006 16:26

Oh there buggers arne't they, when my mum got a new plce she asked for a grant for moving they said no as she had declared herself homeless, she said fine then give me a grant for furniture they said no because we know you have stuff. Argh!

Ended up her brother hired a van for the day and helped us out. We had made a few trips on the bus back and forward.

Tortington · 22/06/2006 16:34

move in and get things over time.

i dont see why dss would refuse money for a bed i would appeal

LucyCampCat · 22/06/2006 16:35

misdee's suggestion of freecycle is a really good one.

Tortington · 22/06/2006 16:41

things like plates and cups knives and forks can get dirt cheap from chairty shops - 20p each. or cutlery £1 a bundle.

you could also stay where you are and slowly take things to the flat over a week period - who is going to know?

wait til he is out and take a couple of plates and a small amount of cutlery

things he may not notice but that you may need like an extension lead. screw driver, nails, photographs

take carrier bags of your stuff every time he is out
some clothes shoes and stuff - bedding, pillows.towels - not all you understand - maybe a bath towel and a hand towel - he wont know maybe he wouldnt notice if one pillow went missing. toys even some cans of food. and the can opener

then on the last day you are about to fuck off get a taxi - make sure you take the kettle coffee or tea and sugar. and any jewllery you have to sell or pawn when you are skint. take any curtains that will fit and all of the food that is non perishable in the cupboard.
any games station and games - becuase you can sell it. and maybe you would even be able to fit in a very small table.

the very best of luck

Blu · 22/06/2006 16:41

freecycle

You join and can ask for any items on offer for free.

I agree with others - don't make this a 'try' - you have a fantastic opportunity, do it!

Pack what you can and go by black cab, if necessary. Would Women's Aid help? You can sleep on a lilo until freecycle helped, and at least it's summer!

Good luck.

Blu · 22/06/2006 16:43

Good idea, Custy.

LIZS · 22/06/2006 16:48

Try a local church or council scheme where they rehome old furniture and appliances - the council housing dept should know of any in your area or perhaps WRVS or Salvation Army.

nannyme · 22/06/2006 16:57

When would you be moving? We will be hiring a van in a few weeks to move all our stuff over a few days and would be able to share if interested? We are trying to cut costs so would welcome opportunity to share cost of van for a week and we have done all this before so no worries about lifting and driving.

Just a thought.

Original poster
CKMUM · 22/06/2006 17:48

thanks custardo but am moving too far away to make lots of journeys.

Also there is the issue of rent on the two properties. The rent where I am now is nearly 300 a week. Once I accept the new house I have to start paying rent on it and unless I get all my stuff out the same day I will have rent to pay on both properties and housing benefit will only pay for 1.

I am trying to just think how good it will be to get away and not focus on the negatives but am already in debt

OP posts:
Original poster
CKMUM · 22/06/2006 18:09

he has just had a go at me for eating the last baking potato while he was out because he fancied a jacket potato tonight

he also had a go at my daughter because she got the remote control and turned over to different channel when he was watching TV

OP posts:
Piffle · 22/06/2006 18:11

if you are near me I cna get you plates cutlery and a few other bits?
Lincs but would travel to help out

Original poster
CKMUM · 22/06/2006 18:12

thats lovely but I'm not near you thank you

OP posts:
Tortington · 22/06/2006 23:44

ahh i thought as HB were paying for one - he was paying for the other - who is paying for the other - i suppose he would be wouldnt he? becuase he's not going to know you have left to be able to give notice - or are you giving notice and not telling him?

DevilsAdvocado · 22/06/2006 23:55

Just go. I remember reading a thread of yours ages ago..and wishing I was nearer to help you and even give you some encouragement. Why worry about the small stuff? If it were me and I was getting picked on for eating a potato I would f*ck off asap!

Does he go out to work for long? Have you a biggish suitcase? Pack it with the necessities (sp) and go.. as soon as you can and don't look back.. You have to do this for yourself and your kiddies. where abouts are you?

tortoise · 22/06/2006 23:57

Oh good luck CKMUM.Remember following your thread before.You can do it this time.Good luck.

Original poster
CKMUM · 23/06/2006 01:39

i am in oxford, i really worry about saying where i am in case anyone guesses is me and tells him i'm planning this.

i don't have to give notice on this place, i assumed it was 4 weeks notice but i checked and you just hand in your keys and thats it.

But i was getting income support and housing benefit etc, he told them he had come back to me so i don't get income support but he gets JSA for us both. Hosuing benefit instead of telling him to claim in his name said keep the claim in my own but add his details to it as thats quicker.

The tenancy is in my name only though and he isnt allowed on it so I am responsible for rent. Once they know I have moved out he won't be able to stay so won't get hpusing benefit for it and i will be getting housing benefit for the other place.

And of course even if he could get housing benefit he wouldn't know straight away that I had gone for good so wouldn't claim straight away and anyway he never seems to realize that he needs to do stuff like claiming benefit and if you tell him about stuff he needs to do he just puts it off and puts it off and doesn't realizer how important it is

OP posts:
lexiemum · 23/06/2006 09:16

posted on other thread but am local to you and can offer help if you want in moving etc. CAT me if interested.

FioFio · 23/06/2006 09:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Mascaraohara · 23/06/2006 09:24

Was lurking yesterday but didn't post. Oxford's not really that far from me. If you're going to be moving anywhere near Beds/Bucks I would be able to help with some essentials, could easily get together some household things and probably some clothes and stuff too (obviously depending on size). How old is your dd? Could possibly help with clothes for her too if she's 3-4 or under..

could you say roughly where it is you are going? there maybe be other MNers in that area who could possible help.

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