Friends and their childrens behaviour..

[somebodyelseforaminute]

was going to change name for this cos ive just recomended her to come here, but havent, so will have to word it carefully.

Friend of about six month(and neighbour, until we move), came round today after our attempt of a nice walk with kids was scupperd by rain.
My dd is very polite, shares, looks after her stuff etc and was today feeling a little under weather.

getting on..my friends son who is almost 4 is normally boisterous, but managable.today!!!
stamping all over dd's toys, snapping her pretend jewellry and laughing when ever he was told by his mum to stop, trying to pull my fire guard off wall and continued even when him mum said not to, pushed dd down stairs(i caught her) when he'd insisted on joining us when she went..at same time, turned taps on and put plug in bath, tipped all dd's letter bath toys in it, kept slamming safety gate against wall, shook his drink to make it go all over floor, when already told not to by mum, screamed and shouted when i asked my dd to be quiet as i was taliking to his mum a moment, kicked his baby sister in the head whilst she was in my arms and worst for me..dd was saying her tummy hurt and she was hot, so i took off her top to take her temp and cool her down..he walked right over to her and wacked her in her stomach!!!!!!!!!
FFS..i feel sorry for mum as he seemed out of control, but he was only given time out once and took no notice of her threats to put hm there.
but am so angry that he behaved so badley and she carried on like nothing was happening..dd now says she doesnt ever want him over agin and i dont blame her really!..sorry long winded and have ended up changing name as it was a bit specific

I wouldn't have kids like that over again.Put up with horrible kids with ds1 and he was bloody miserable the whole time.With ds2 if they didn't behave they didn't get asked back.
Seems harsh but my kids didn't need "friends" like them.
I plan to do same thing with dd when she gets friends.
I have told parents i won't be asking the kids round as the children don't have much in common/don't get on.
Am i awful or what?

thing is most of last few weeks have been spent i their garden and thieve had so much fun and been so happy playing together..cant understand him..he was so shockingly badley behaved and cheeky!
he does get away with more than my dd normally, but my god!..he was horrible and im getting more about him hitting dd now!

not really it was more of yu wont listen anyway, so i wont bother

not really it was more of yu wont listen anyway, so i wont bother

sorry I think I would have said dd isn't well goodbye

Totally know where you're coming from. When my best friend comes around with her dd(2years)It drives me crazy as her wee girl is quite badly behaved and always leaves our playroom like a bomb has gone off in it! I know the playroom is for playing in but she delights in just emptying containers full of toys onto the floor and doesn't play with any of it. My friend never really checks her for this and doesnt really offer to help tidy up at home time!!!I just usually grit my teeth and moan to my dh about it later. Last week however I was invited to her house to play with my 2 d.s (7months and almost 3) and somehow it turned into one of thoses days where you're in the garden and the kids keep bringing more and more toys outside. Well her garden could have given Toys R Us a run for its money so at home time I returned the favour and left her to it! Felt bad for oh at least 10 seconds!!! We usually always meet at mine so I dont feel too bad about it but back to your situation it is really awkward where friends are concerned. Perhaps if they normally play nicely together you should just forget this horrible day and hope that its just an off day for the sake of your friendship but if his behaviour continues to be so awful the next time you meet{particularly where hitting and punching your child is concerned} I would make an excuse for not meeting with the kids and meet your friend in the evenings!

if you feel like giving it a second chance you could all go to the park together so you and DD can leave if it's all too much

God - other people kids eh ?

Hate it hate it hate it !!!

To be honest we don't ask people back if they behave like that - I would dtop dd doing that to others and I expect other mums to do the same !

Sounds like your friend did not control him well - maybe she or he was having an off day ? Maybe give another chance - on neutral territory and then see what happens !

We had just the same a couple of yrs back and ashamed to say that I just dropped the friend because she didn't control her kids who trashed my house countless times, broke innumerable toys and were nasty to dd ! She sat and tutted at them ! Bye Bye !!

wouldn't have him back, ever. Having said that, my dd had a friend who was an only child and very out of control but when she came over we made her follow our rules and she complied. If she didn't, she knew she would be sent home. what was good about it was I taught my dd to say to her, "No, my mom woulnd't like it if we did that ", early training for peer pressure. But she was older than this kid (6) so there was no hitting. I don't think I would have a such a child over unless he was old enough to follow our house rules. It doesn't sound like it is fun for you or your dd so, there are alot of nice kids out there, life is too short in my opinon.

your house, your rules

i would have knelt down and said to him that if he repeats "x" behaviour, then he can not come back to play because he has hurt "Y"

I think all the bits were he hit or pushed your daughter - you could have said something to him. Maybe his mother was taking her cue from you, and as you were being so nice and polite about it...

You could also mention that threatening time out is not the way to do it - you just put them there, once they do the bad thing.

I once saw a kid after his mum said "if you hit your cousin you will go in time out" you could see him weigh it up for all of 3 seconds before he gave her such a whack - probably harder to justify the punishment.

Would give him another chance too if he is normally okay - could he have been a bit under the weather or over-tired? Sorry don't mean to sound like I'm making excuses, just as a mother of 2 boisterous boys myself.

I think sometimes if they do actually hit your children you are within your rights to calmly chastise them - I think children often take more notice if somebody other than their parents rebuke them.

hiya
saw his mum in shop this morn and she was very sheepish?, but no mention of it..i told her dd is unwell and has been complaining of tummy ache, she said oh hope shes ok..no mention..id have been mortified if it had been my dd behaving that way!
he is boisterous and snatchy normally and ive previously seen him totally ingnore his mum and do dangerous or blatently naughty things without a care..for example walking up to us, saying he wnted a wee and weeing on the floor in front of me, actually over my bare feet at the time!

dd 'does' have fun with him when they are out, but as shes quite a bit quieter than him, i dont want him taking everything off her and hitting her!