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Original poster

Neighbours and inconsiderate parking (another rant)

19 replies

hidingbehindpseudo · 17/06/2006 16:37

Have changed my name in case said neighbour is a mumsnetter.

We have a driveway big enough for one car, with a designated (on our deeds) parking space parallel with the house, the other side of the pavement (double width plus dropped kerb), as do the other 4 houses in our row. Next door paved the whole of their front so they have room for 3 cars: 2 on drive and one across.

Every visitor or workman who comes to their house parks so that the drivers door is level with their front door, which means that the front of their car overhangs our drive. Several are 4x4s so they overhang a long way. They have visitors every single day and it doesn't matter whether my car is there or not, that is where they park.

Last weekend we picked up our "new" (to us) car, and got home to find a van parked outside our house. It wasn't blocking the drive but was blocking access to our space. It was there every morning this week, while their drive/ front was empty. So they expect us to park our new car down the road where we can't see it. Today another van has turned up and parked right across our drive, although our car is sat there. When they had their windows fitted last year their fitters parked an enormous van right across our front that took out drive plus the whole of the front.

I am steaming. Perhaps their visitors don't know any better but they know we have 2 cars. Now if we were in a road where there was limited parking and they had no choice then fair enough. BUT our road only has 7 houses and the rest is flats with their own car parks. There is tons of parking both sides of the road.

DH could go and put on his "cheeky chappy" voice and ask them nicely to stop, but he won't because he is scared to. I don't do confrontation well and veer between timid and aggressive and I know that if I go I will end up saying something we'll all regret and no-one will speak to us again. Obviously we've still got to live here. I was going to go and speak to the van driver this morning but got so wound up I didn't dare.

I've got to the point where I don't want to come home because I know there will be a car stuck there and it makes me so angry. It is also causing a huge rift between me and DH because he won't stand up for me/us.

Does anyone have any wise words on how to tackle this situation please?

OP posts:

Ledodgyherring · 17/06/2006 16:42

TBH if there's loads of parking spaces on your road why don't you just park in one of them till the other person moves? I know it's annoying but not worth getting so aggravated about IMO.

Carmenere · 17/06/2006 16:43

I agree you should be able to park where you want but Ledogy is right don't sweat the small stuff. Neighbour disputes are grim avoid them at all costs.

southeastastra · 17/06/2006 16:46

oh this is my favourite subject, it nearly drives me to violence, i don't know why but it does. i can't offer any advice really but to say i know how much it can wind you up.

you really want to say something, then wait until you have calmed down. then it happens again. i can totally sympathise with you.

BadHair · 17/06/2006 16:49

Whenever possible, park your car to block their access. Or pull up right in front of the vans and block them in. You have to go right up to their bumpers for this to be effective.

Similar happened to us - neighbours both had to park so their drivers' doors opened right next to their gates. It meant that there was no space for me, even though there was 4 foot between the cars. And sometimes the gits across the street parked their works van outside our house.

So I started pointedly pulling up right behind or in front of whoever was parked badly. Took a couple of attempts but they don't do it anymore.

The other option is to make sure you have to go out whenever your drive is blocked. Give them 10 mins to settle in niceley, the go round and ask them, politely, to move. Eventually the message will sink in that it's just easier not to park over your drive.

chjlly · 17/06/2006 17:08

We had this at our old house the bloke next door would always park his transit accross our drive. If it wasn't him but someone visiting I would put a note on their car.
One night someone left their car there all night I called the police in the end.
If you don;t know the vehicle phone them & they will trace the owner and tell them to shift it!

hunkermunker · 17/06/2006 17:19

Can't you just knock on the door and say "Can you ask your visitors not to park across our drive please, thank you"?

If they don't know it winds you up and they're a bit thick (lots of people are these days, I find) it probably hasn't occurred to them that you might mind.

I really can't see why this is such a problem.

BettySpaghetti · 17/06/2006 17:22

Agree with BadHair about finding every opportunity to pop round and ask them to move the car so you can get yours out (or claim to need to load/unload some stuff so you need to get your car in to the driveway).

They'll soon get fed up of playing musical cars and park more considerately

hunkermunker · 17/06/2006 17:23

All this talk of parking aggressively will just get their backs up and if you report it to the police they'll either tell you to bugger off or your neighbour will know it was you anyway.

This is the problem with communities these days. Nobody talks to each other, they sit and fume.

chjlly · 17/06/2006 17:43

I would tell the neighbour but the car that was left overnight I didn't know who it belonged to & I couldn't get out the owner appeared about 2 hours after me calling the police in her pj's so god knows how long I could have been waiting if I hadn't called them

tenalady · 17/06/2006 17:53

Have a nice little tasteful sign to stick in the grass with No parking please.

moondog · 17/06/2006 17:53

Just ask them nicely to move it,doh!!
I fail to see why your dh should do it.
Honestly!!

tenalady · 17/06/2006 17:54

Or depending how you are feeling, you can borrow my 4x4 and accidentally leave the hand brake off so it can roll down the drive and klonk em in the side.

NotQuiteCockney · 17/06/2006 18:42

It seems unlikely that they're telling builders to park there, they (the builders) are probably just parking in the place that's most convenient for them, and not really thinking. Hardly seems worth getting all worked up about.

mogwai · 17/06/2006 19:58

We have a lady living nextdoor to us who hates anyone parking in front of her house. She has a driveway long enough for two cars (she drives a Yaris), but she thinks she owns the parking space outside too.

She's over 70 years old.

Recently we had visitors who parked in front of her house. She doesn't need the space, but she stayed up until they left at 2am then went out and moved her car off the drive and onto the road.

Then, I presume, she could sleep soundly in the knowledge that none of our other visitors (who might arrive at say, 3am) could park there.

Please don't get too worked up about it; you'll turn into her!

Original poster

hidingbehindpseudo · 18/06/2006 10:04

The difference is mogwai that we do own the parking space they are blocking, as well as the drive, and we have 2 cars that need the space.

I never block anyone's drive even if it means a bit of a walk. Someone said that the problem with communities is no-one talks to eachother. I think the biggest problem is a total lack of courtesy and consideration for other people. That covers parking, noise, dogs, whatever.

The neighbours know it winds me up. When they were building their drive they watched me struggle round their inconsiderately parked cars almost daily (the road is really narrow so you can't swing round either).

Thanks to those who were sympathetic. I can't go and speak to them, as I explained. I may intend to say something polite but I would end up saying something rude. My DH does bugger all else so it wouldn't kill him to do one thing once in his life (he hasn't even bought his father a card today. I expect he's waiting for me to sort it out even though i told him I wasn't going to).

Those who think it doesn't matter. Would you think it was OK lugging your kids and a weeks shopping back from over the road somewhere because some kind soul can't walk an extra 2 steps? We wouldn't have moved here if it didn't have parking for 2 cars. The neighbour in our last house used to pull the same trick and we were late for school so many times because there was no urgency for them to move. They actually tutted one time when I knocked on the door because I couldn't get out.

OP posts:

charliecat · 18/06/2006 10:13

We have this and abandon right up the neighbours vans/friends/relatives arse. They dont do it so often anymore.
Neighbour also lines his car door up with his gate with millimetre precision...makes me laugh

hunkermunker · 18/06/2006 10:16

I didn't say I thought it didn't matter. I said I didn't see what the problem was with asking them not to park there.

And it still sounds like it's your problem - you say you can't do it without being rude. Well, I'm afraid I think that's pretty childish. You can't make a reasonable request of a neighbour politely? I think that's more of a worry than where they park.

It sounds like this is a deeper issue with your DH too - I'd not be impressed with a DH who left it to me to get a father's day card (although I made the one for his dad!).

Freckle · 18/06/2006 10:29

If you are concerned that you can't speak to your neighbours without getting angry, how about a very pleasant note through the door? Avoids confrontation and gets the message across. If they continue to do it after your note, then you know exactly how they feel about you.

QE · 18/06/2006 10:37

Agree with hunker that this is not really about the neighbour parking inconsiderately. It seems there is a much deeper issue going on with your dh and you are taking that frustration with him out on your neighbour. Displacement anger, is it called or something?

Are your neighbours really unapproachable? I had a difficult neighbour who was really arsey about parking. I just kept politely knocking on the door if there was a strange car parked awkwrdly (I knew they would be visiting them) and said would you mind moving it as I need to reverse out. Simple really - they do get the message eventually - that is if you can't speak to them and explain the problem and see a way to resolve it without tempers flaring.

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