how to cope with 18 month old and breast feeding new born?

[mckenzie]

My goddaughter has recently become a big sister which is great but her poor mum is struggling now with an 18 month old (who is used to having mum's full attention) and a breast feeding new born baby. My GD tries to climb all over her mum when she's breast feeding and now that mum has introduced some bottles (of EBM and formula) GD tries to either yank the bottle away or push it further in her brother's mouth.

I'm sure these actions are nothing unusual but can anyone give my friend (Poolie) some advice or reassurance please? The baby is very demanding at night time vis a vis feeding and so she's very tired, she has no parental help and an average football mad DH (so not much help there either).

TIA

i had this situation recently with my two. i resorted to giving the toddler some cows milk in a bottle at the same time that i was feeding the baby. she had'nt had a bottle since she was one so it was a bit of a novelty! it is a bit of a tricky one though with such a small gap. to be honest things are only just getting easier now, the baby is 6 months and the toddler is 2 yrs. good luck.

I had the same problem - a 19 month age gap. I tried a few things - sometimes they worked, sometimes not:

• put the TV on for the toddler while breastfeeding - not ideal but heck, the baby has to eat

• give the toddler a snack - a box of raisins or something to keep her occupied

• make a special 'chair' out of sofa cushions or pillows next to where she feeds and encourage the toddler to read in her special chair

• keep a box of special toys that only come out during breastfeeding

hope those help. Let's just say that I stopped breastfeeding number 2 by 4 months because it was just too hard with another one jumping on me all the time.

I think that the key is in teaching the older child that she must respect this time as a time where she needs to leave mum alone to feed the baby.

This means perhaps a week of instilling that sense of respect using positive behaviour management techniques.

I used to get a pile of books together at feeding times for dd1 and read to her whilst feeding dd2. She loved books so positively looked forward to dd2's feeding times!

I had a 19 month gap as well. Feeding times were time for dd1 to have her video or story read to her. After about a month she had forgotten what it was like not to have the baby and the jealousy stopped.

Arguably full on bottles would be more hassle. (All that mixing and cleaning,yawn......)
Tell her dh to get off his arse.

I'd go with tv and stories and cuddles.

I had/have this problem with ds1 and ds2 - 12 months apart. The worst was when I gave ds2 a bottle rather than breastfeeding him. I couldn't face a battle with ds1 every time I fed ds2 so I gave ds1 a bottle of milk (about 2 or 3 ounces) at the same time. To begin with he would drink it all but after a while he lost interest. It's no longer a problem.

thanks everyone. I shall pass all the info on to Poolie.