Selective Hysterectomy?

[babyonboard]

I am wondering what your opinions are on this, we were out for dinner with some old uni friends and one is desperate for, and was aghast that she could not get, a hysterectomy on the N.H.S (she has been requesting one for two years pparantly but three different G.P's have refused)
She says she is prepared to save up to pay for one abroad as she is certain she never wants children.

She is 28 years old,, perfectly healthy, has a great career, and is very happy being single, but I had to bite my tongue.

Was I wrong to be so shocked by her attitude?

Some of the things I thought

• you never know, especially being fairly young, perhaps she will want children later and she is basically shutting out that option

• surely such a major operation for what's essentially a 'lifestyle' choice shouldn't be funded by the N.H.S, especially with the ever growing waiting lists for genuine cases.

and on a personal note, my mum had to have a hysterectomy for medical reasons and the change in her hormones, and the realisation she could never have more children caused a lot of upset and stress.

theres far more to having a hysterertomy than just not being able to have children/no more periods.

it is major surgery and involved removing organs vital for hormonal balance and at 28 this would be crazy - no doctor nhs or private should even contenplate this, unless there are serious medical reasons for it

Why on earth can she not get sterilised or have a coil?

At 28 I didn't want kids either
very short sighted of her

I agree that the nhs shouldn't fund this sort of elective surgery

she sounds like a nut case.
why doesnt she just cut off her right arm whilst she's at it. after all, if she's left handed, she wont need her right arm ever.......

recommend a therapist

The woman's mad, recovering from v hysterectomy I had in March. Although feel fine, it was major surgery, if she required it medically then she would get it, what she really wants is to be sterilised

babyonboard, agree with your comment about realisation abour further children and your mum. Still have some bad days

Well her 'evidence' that sterilisation doesn't work amounted to knowing some guy who had the snip, but his wife got pregnant a year later.

and the craziest comment was, she wouldn't want a coil or implant as she's ''not a machine that needs parts put in'''

deegward - what you say strikes a chord, it really is an enormous thing, my mum has three children, was 43 at the time, but I think you still go through the natural 'loss' process, for what might have been.

No but she wants "parts removed"!!!

Although I I had vag hyst, I still have overies so still get mood swings etc, the woman is really mand

Bob. I was 40 in May and we had said that we didn't want any more, but that is completely diff to being told you will NEVER have any more!

I don't think she realises the finality of it all

hysterectomy, maybe she menans tubla ligation, she will plunge into menopause if she has the works
With tubal ligation it is reversible as well.

The thing is, she is not 'mad' in anyway, she is very together and intelligent, she is very close to one of my best friends, but I don't know her very well.

She really saw it as her right to take this option, which it of course is, so is it irresponsible of any trained surgeon to do it, or should they dissuade her, from what seems to be her genuine instinct?

Tell her to keep her legs shut
(or her mouth open, that should do it no-one in their right mind would shag someone so insane surely)

Has she never heard of the biological clock?

C.D I am trying to keep this a serious thread
(get the bouncer on the door to keep cod out!)

I came home feeling quite sad about it, and it keps playing on my mind, I cannot understand having that certainty..I hope she doesn't do it and come to really regreat it

seriously though, do you think this is something you can medically sdemand? I mean people get theeir leg cut off for psychological reasons, so I don't see the difference

yet I do..but is that because i'm a mum..hmm

But BOB I would imagine that to get a leg removed due to the body dysmorphic thing you would have to go through a lot of counselling. To remove a womb for no good reasonably urgent medical condition would be going out on a limb (excuse the pun) for any surgeon.

And like lots of others I was 100% sure that I was never going to have babies - right up until I got pregnant at 31. Attitudes change.

I know..sory I'm just aiing my struggle to understn it on here..

I think it's a crazy attitude for surre, but have comw up with all sorts of reasons why he may be thinking this.

The mian one is that she has had three t.o.p's before, maybe she doesn't want to go through that again, and maybe it has harmed her more than she knows

Obviously I do not know the full story as she isn't close to me, but I found it a really interesting and surprisingly bothering topic to discuss over dinner.

The attitudes of the men there were suprising, they all had the consensus that it was a really big mistake, and were very vocal with it.

sorry for crapy typing, our keyboard is a bit temprmental

Wow. I think when I was 28 I DEFINITELY never wanted to have children, look how that one turned out. I think it's fairly unlikely anyone would sterilise her at that age, never mind perform the procedure she has in mind. My Mum had quite a lot of trouble persuading anyone to sterilise her and she had 2 children and 3 step-children by the age of 31!

no more opinions? I would have thought you guys would come up with a wealth of different perspectives.

If her only reason for wanting it is because sterilisation may not work, can't she use a condom as well? I am so sorry, but like the others I really can't see why the NHS should fund this or how any competent surgeon could be persuaded to do it....

She may be very together and intelligent about some things, but I think she has got this one badly wrong.