What to do....leave well along or say something?

[joelalie]

I'm sorry this is so long but I am feeling so angry on behalf of my DS and I don’t know what to do. He’s 9 and has been going to the local cricket club for nearly 3 years now once a week for training. He is really quite good, possibly the best in his age group - not just a proud mummy thing, but some of the trainers as well as aquaintances associated with the club tell us the same too. A few weeks ago he came back and told me that he was playing in his first real match in a few weeks – cue much excitement in the Joelalie household . Last week one of the trainers who works in the same office as me told me that he’d e-mail me tomorrow if Alex had been selected for the game…which I thought was a bit odd but assumed that DS had got the wrong end of the stick and that they still hadn’t made the final selections. Didn’t get e-mail so I steeled myself to tell DS and expect him to be a bit down – he was furious! Apparently the trainer had already selected the right number of children for the match and told them that they were all playing. So what happened? I e-mailed the trainer just to ensure that DS definitely wasn’t playing but got no reply ….and he won’t even look at me in work!! I am worried that it’s a question of ‘who you know’….it’s a very small town

We have some concerns over the club TBH – there are too many kids there when the weather’s nice and sometimes they don’t even all get a chance to bat or bowl. DS is tall and strong for his age and should be going up to the next age group…as well as being one of the best players there. I really want him to be progressing – he’s not the most academic of boys so it seems sensible to encourage him in what he is good at. DH knows someone involved with another cricket club and he was all for starting DS there – but when I mentioned it to DS he refused to even contemplate it..’ I can’t leave the club just because I wasn’t in the team’. I felt so proud of him…. Parents getting all huffy and upset, DS being the grown-up

Should we speak to someone at the club, or simply leave it to DS. He isn’t good at putting himself forward but I don’t want to play the over-protective or pushy mum.

I understand your concern about being seen as a pushy mum etc, but I would say something if it was me. The main issue (and your DS is being very mature about it) is that he was apparently told he was playing in the match, and then was suddenly dropped without warning or even notification of the fact. This is what is not right, and could, eventually lead to your DS being disillusioned with cricket if this were to continue.

I would talk to the trainers at the next practice, and say that Alex was upset, but that he was as upset by the confusion as by not being selected. He does sound a very level-headed boy, and you should be very proud of him for that. It may be that the trainers are trying to encurage everybody, and therefore not selecting on merit but making sure everyone is included somehow, but that does not excuse the confusion, or the avoidance once the confusion became apparent.

I think you do need to say something. It all sounds a bit confusing. Your DS MIGHT have got the wrong end of the stick, but it sounds as though they are just really disorganised. Either way, if he had been picked and then you had decided to go away for the weekend at the last minute the club would have been pretty annoyed, so they owe it to you to be clear about how they choose people to play and how much notice they give. Not even to reply to your e-mail when you work with this man is downright rude.
You don't even have to mention about how talented your DS is if you don't want to.

Thanks for your replies. Yes MP - it is very disorganised! I will have a quiet word - just to clarify. But not with my work colleague as he's still trying to avoid me . But next week at practice. I've heard that the team were severely trounced as well.... [tries not to grin too much]