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Original poster

Really fed up!

21 replies

kando · 09/02/2004 17:32

I am feeling really fed up at the moment - and I can't put my finger on why. I have no motivation, all my get-up-and-go has "got-up-and-gone" and I really don't like the way I'm feeling.

I am a sahm with two gorgeous dds (aged 3 and 1) who by all accounts are very well behaved, but find myself being quite short with them sometimes(dd1 in particular) if they start getting whingey. Then I feel guilty if I snap at them which makes me feel even more fed up with myself. I can't be bothered doing any cooking or cleaning etc - the cooking thing mainly because dd1 refuses to eat anything "new" I cook for her (she lives on veggie sausages, burgers, fish fingers, alphabites and practically NO vegetables of any shape/colour), so this also gets me down. (DD2 on the other hand eats anything put in front of her!)

I don't do any exercise (except from walking or housework - when I can be bothered to do it) and I don't really like my body at the moment. I'm not overweight or anything, just need a bit of toning up, but I can't muster up the energy or inclination to do any exercise. I'm veggie and don't have a particularly healthy diet (not enough veg!) and I probably drink more than I should (at least two glasses of wine most nights).

Sorry, this has been one long moan, but I feel a bit better just getting it off my (saggy) chest! Can anyone give me some inspiration/motivation to get kick-started?! A tall order I know, but what do you do when you feel so fed up with your lot?

OP posts:

fairydust · 09/02/2004 17:43

Is there anyway you can get someone to have the kids for you for an evening - even if you don't go out have a long soak or something.

sorry not much good

lydialemon · 09/02/2004 17:45

First of all make sure that there is no 'reason' for you feeling like that. See if your GP will give you a once over. I felt exactly like that, and then was diagnosed with hypothyroidism, which can manifest as that generally c**p feeling. Its also possible you could have a touch of PND?

If it isn't anything physical, then maybe forcing yourself to get involved in some kind of exercise would help - get those lovely endorphins going! However, that is easier said than done when you have young kids. I'm still on the 'sit on my backside' stage, so I'd be interested if anyone has ideas on this too!

Re the eating, take a deep breathe and remind yourself that they DO grow out of it (eventually).

CountessDracula · 09/02/2004 17:46

Kando maybe you need some vitamin supplements, or buy a juicer.

Or maybe you are unwell - I was feeling like this, really tired and grumpy etc, and had glandular fever!

If not then a better diet and more exercise will help you. Do you think you may be depressed? If so and it is mild then I do think that diet and exercise might help.

Thomcat · 09/02/2004 17:48

Do you know what I feel a little bit like this at the moment and I'm going to start taking St Johns Wort. It's herbal and it works. That might be an idea for you, a bit of a lift to get you caring about other stuff again. I just feel a bit down in the dumps for a few reasons, and as I've just come off the pill my body is all a bit ovrthe place so thought St Johns Wort might help.

I can suggest loads of things for you, but if you don't have the energy and just have that 'I don't care enough' feeling then there's no point in me telling you to get up and go out etc. Maybe St Johns Wort will give you that little lift you need in order to make some changes in your life, or maybe it'll give you enough of a lift to make you feel you don't need to make changes??

Look it up on the net and maybe we can start taking it together if you're up for it and see how we both feel in a while.

Once you feel more 'get up and go-ish' maybe a spot of fundraising or something will make you feel good and make you feel like you're doing something worthwhile away from the home?

fio2 · 09/02/2004 17:49

kandoo I think we all go through phases like this but agree with lydialemon, make sure it isnt depression first. I dont think you are drinking too much if you only have 2 glasses of wine a night.

I find it hard to do anything other than walking for exercise too. When do we get the time to do anything else? Sorry I have no quick fixes, but agree with fairydust that maybe a change of scenery for an hour a week may give you a bit of a lift. I am considering getting an evening job (when we move) just to give me a bit of independance !

CountessDracula · 09/02/2004 17:50

Thomcat sorry you are feeling like this too

DH tried St John's Wort a few years ago but there was some health scare about it just after he started it so he stopped. Don't want to worry you but have you looked into it's side effects and possible contra-indications?

Thomcat · 09/02/2004 17:55

Oh no big thing Drac - just a bit blueish. I thought St Johns Wort was okay - there was a thread about it the other day and loads of people were saying it worked for them. i took it a few years ago and it worked for me then.

Sorry kando - don't want to suggest anything that would have pssible side effect - sorry.

If anyone knows more about St Johns Wort etc could you let us know please.

PS - Kando - 2 glasses of wine every night is NOT excessive, not at all.

fio2 · 09/02/2004 18:00

is it good then thomcat? I was thinking of giving it a go cos kalms and bachs resue remedy do nothing for me....

gingernut · 09/02/2004 18:05

IIRC, the problems with St John's Wart were that it interacted with certain other common medicines (I think the pill was one of them) and also it can cause some side effects. Will have a look for some info on it.

I've been feeling really fed up too. I think for me it's partly the weather, because it's been a lot brighter here over the past few days and my mood has lifted a bit, so I've made a resolution to get out as much as possible to get exposure to daylight and some fresh air.

gingernut · 09/02/2004 19:07

See here . Interactions and side effects are mentioned. This factsheet seems to be a reliable source of information.

HTH

CountessDracula · 09/02/2004 19:08

Sorry that was not useful just saying there was a problem and not backing it up but didn't have time to look into it there and then.

gingernut · 09/02/2004 19:18

BTW, should have said sorry to hear you're feeling so down. If you can't lift your mood by trying some of the suggestions here I think it's worth seeing your GP.

handlemecarefully · 10/02/2004 08:21

Maybe you've got Seasonal Affective Disorder? - up to 10% of the population in the Northern Hemisphere suffer at least mild symptoms (lethargy, lack of motivation, low mood). Its caused by too little light (which affects brain chemistry and reduces serotonin)...

Do you often feel a bit down over the winter period with your general mood lifting in spring? (I know I do!). If you think it might be this take every opportunity you can to get outdoors - particularly on those brighter winter days. It will help a little

Original poster

kando · 12/02/2004 11:58

I know it's only been a couple of days, but things seem to be improving slightly - I took some advice offered and have been out walking with dds whenever possible. Kind of blows the cobwebs away, and the people around here are always so friendly when we're out (dd1 and her pushchair, me pushing dd2 - always makes people smile and chat!) So that's boosted me a bit. Also found an old exercise video (Beverley Callard, aka liz macdonald from Coronation Street) and decided to give it a go and asked dd1 (3) to join in. She had me in stitches as she was trying to do the exercises while the video was rewinding at full speed!

Thanks for all your replies. I see another thread about motivation so it must be something about this time of year!

OP posts:

Thomcat · 12/02/2004 12:04

Hi Kando - glad you are feeling a bit better.

Thanks for that link as well Gingernut and I think I am going to start taking it for a little while just until Spring kicks in!

Sonnet · 12/02/2004 12:53

I've too found this thread useful - I started one similar today before I'd seen this.
I think mine is efefcted by the lack of sunlight...I also have taken St Johns Wort before with good results so I think that I too shall takle them as well
It's a grey type of day here - lets hope it brightens up a bit tomorrow when I'm not working and then DD2 and I can get outside!!

Sonnet · 12/02/2004 13:03

Just had a thought...should all us "fed-up ones" keep us updated with how we are all feeling and what we've done?

I know that me for one felt a bit brighter when I realised I wasn't alone!

Thomcat · 12/02/2004 13:14

Bless you Sonnet, yes I'm up for hearing how you guys are feeling and sharing how I feel.

Today I feel shitty about a friendship that is a shadow of the friendship it once was.

A bit fed up about the fact that now DP is not working, but is going on courses and teachig himself new skills he isn't helping out at home as much as I think he should be. Only unloaded the dishwasher in between designing a record sleeve yesterday. I think he should have done more, he says he was busy 'working' on the computer.

Feel a bit blue that Lottie is not up for this standing lark at all and sad that I have to take her to see an orthapedic surgeon on Monday about it.

What am I doing about it - well think a bar of chocolate might help for now and will buy St Johns Wort at the weekend.

Next.............!

easy · 12/02/2004 13:24

TC,
I'm trying to stay positive too, but it is hard, particularly at this time of year. Nasty grey day here, I'm trying to sort out my finances, (which is horrid when you have no income), and worrying about my hip, which has ached all night and seems clicky this morning. I don't think artificial hips are meant to click.

Sorry about Lottie, but at least you've got an appt for her (trying desperately to find a bright side here)

Perhaps I'll dig my christmas chocolates out from their hiding place.

Thomcat · 12/02/2004 13:38

Ohh Easy, your poor hips.

There's always a positive side hon' and I do usually find it. I've really got nothing to compalin about. i think the friend thing is just really niggling and bothering me and that's kind of making everything else seem worse than it is. I'm only a little bit blue and i agree abut the weather thing as well.

shrub · 12/02/2004 14:27

kando - more sleep may help, though this is easier said than done! i'm the same as my ds's when it comes to feeling run down, i think tiredness and not eating properly contribute to the overall feeling of swimming through treacle. if its any consolation, there have been times i've been so knackered i haven't given my ds2 a bath for a whole month! (mind you he has lovely skin ) though this wasn't intentional - he was 3 months old at the time, feeding 3 times in the night, teething and i was driving a 100 miles a week just to take my ds1 to nursery, there just didn't seem to be enough hours in the day! a friend who is a teacher was so knackered one night she forgot to put her ds's nightime nappy on- he consequently crawled into her bed in the middle of the night - did a massive wee and poo and she just didn't have enough energy to get out of bed so she rolled him over, flicked the poo on the floor and slept in the wee herself. i hope this cheers you up and lets you know you are not alone. though i suspect you are probably more horrified than reassured

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