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Original poster

Not sure what to make of this "Post Mortem Party"......

22 replies

VeniVidiVickiQV · 08/06/2006 20:31

Going on just around the corner from my work. A guy was involved in a motorbike accident 3 weeks ago which killed him.

It seems a group of his biker friends (? maybe relatives.....) are having a party in the street at the spot where he was killed.

Bikes, beer cans and wreaths on a busy road just doesnt seem right to me.......

OP posts:

Original poster

VeniVidiVickiQV · 08/06/2006 20:48

Just me that thinks its a bit wierd then?

OP posts:

MrsBadger · 08/06/2006 20:49

whatever gets them through...

notanotter · 08/06/2006 20:49

i think its good ! kind of thing i would want if it were me!

Max71 · 08/06/2006 20:52

Why doesn't it seem right?

What do you think they should be doing?

MrsBadger · 08/06/2006 20:52

though I think I'd rather my friends got together in a nice pub than by a busy road!

Original poster

VeniVidiVickiQV · 08/06/2006 20:53

Well yes, i think its the whole beer cans vs bikes thing. Im not big in drink driving....and under the circumstances, i find it, somewhat, inappropriate. I dont know if the accident was caused by drink driving, but its the two added together that makes me feel uneasy i suppose.

OP posts:

Chandra · 08/06/2006 20:54

I wouldn't be surprised if while alive he joked about such party if he died in a motorbike accident.

I have a friend who is a fantastic cook and another of my friends has demanded that if he were to die before she does he wants to be buried under her dining table. Chnaces of him being buried under her table are far from being slim (none) but I wouldn't have a problem in organising a picnic in a cemetery with food prepared by my other friend, just to honour his request

Original poster

VeniVidiVickiQV · 08/06/2006 20:54

ERrrrr that should be "im not big on drink driving".....

I perhaps should point out that a friend of mine was killed by a drink driver.

OP posts:

southeastastra · 08/06/2006 20:57

maybe its a traditional thing, was he in hells angels or something like that?

TinyGang · 08/06/2006 21:00

Er yes, sorry I'm with VVV on this.

I think it's weird. I get giving him a sendoff but in the street at the spot where he was killed seems strange to me. Something private after his funeral certainly. I suppose it takes all sorts though...

Chandra · 08/06/2006 21:02

YEah, I agree that the idea of having the party in the same place where he died is a bit too painful.

TinyGang · 08/06/2006 21:05

Mind you I'm not too keen on roadside shrines either, but I've never quite been able to put my finger on why.

Original poster

VeniVidiVickiQV · 08/06/2006 21:10

Phew! Glad its not just me ........

Roadside shrines are a good and a bad thing. It can be distracting as much as it can be a reminder/warning.

That said, the mother of my friend who was killed had one of those special signs put up on the post as a memorial to her son and someone repeatedly pulled it down, which i thought was a bit much.

OP posts:

NotQuiteCockney · 08/06/2006 21:10

As far as I'm concerned, anything that reminds people how many people die on our roads is good.

I would be nervous about drunk driving, though, that's a good point.

manitz · 08/06/2006 21:36

i like the shrines as a reminder. think roadpeace was talking about making them a national campaign a while back. always makes me think. Agree re drink driving but aside from that I think the party sounds like a good idea, celebration of a life rather than mourning the death.

Caligula · 08/06/2006 21:59

All the roadcamera publicity says that cameras are the equivalent of a roadside shrine, because they get put up where there have been a certain number of accidents. Is that true?

manitz · 09/06/2006 08:40

i have heard that about cameras but also about zebra crossings or other crossings. I was caught speeding by a gun recently and the extremely nice policeman explained they were doing i there because there had been a number of accidents in that spot.

However they don't make me feel sad like the flowers do. when I see the shrines I realise a human has died which I think is more powerful than a statistic ie. xnumber need to die before camera installed or whatever.

southeastastra · 09/06/2006 09:53

we have two that have recently gone up after a fatal accident its so sad the boy was only 17.

SenoraPostrophe · 09/06/2006 10:02

don't understand what the problem is with this. It's just a wake without the body surely? a good send off for a biker.

SenoraPostrophe · 09/06/2006 10:04

caligula - it was true for a while, and then they started putting up cameras in other locations. But the motoring lobby didn't like that so as far as I know they've gone back to putting them up where accidents have happened again. and painted them yellow so people from the motoring lobby can slam their brakes on at the last minute and kill some more people. it's all a bit arse about face really.

SaintGeorge · 09/06/2006 10:42

I have loads of biker friends and we have done this for a friend before.

We all went to the spot and had a token drink from the cans, then he had the rest so to speak because we all poured the cans out on the spot. Shared one last beer with him. Then someone buried the headlight from his bike.

It was very moving and he would have appreciated the irony of the location.

BettySpaghetti · 09/06/2006 12:02

Thats really moving StGeorge. I think bikers often have a "ceremony" along those lines don't they?

I like the idea of a fitting send-off -I think we are all too staid and traditional sometimes especially around death and dying.

People are now starting to slowly move away from the traditional church service, cemetery burial/cremation, wake routine. We're now more willing to accept cardboard coffins, woodland burial sites, funerals where no-one wears black at the deceaseds request, and so on.

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