Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Other subjects

Flip

Original poster

Neighbours fighting do I tell?

24 replies

Paula71 · 04/02/2004 20:28

Never one to sticky beak it has been hard to ignore the fight my neighbours two doors down have been having since the weekend. Screaming matches that go on well into the night - yesterday they were actually physically whacking each other in the middle of the street! These are the same people who, after yet another fight between each other last Autumn, left a kitchen knife at the bottom of our drive. That I took into the police station without saying where I knew it came from.

The thing is, they have a little girl only 6 months older than my ds twins (aged 2) During their fisticuffs yesterday she came running out into the street in tears and my heart literally broke. My two find the noise scary and I can't imagine what she must be going through.

So, the long point to here is - do I tell social services or not? The other neighbours are not interested but I know one has called the police on them before - it seems to be the woman who goes crazy and he retaliates.

What an awful situation to put your child in, eh?

Mumsnetters I respect your opinions and this is causing me concern - what do I do?

OP posts:

aloha · 04/02/2004 20:55

I would, but then some people think I overreact. Horrible for that little girl.

suzywong · 04/02/2004 20:57

Yes, I think you should
Remember Victoria Climbe (sp)

vicimelly · 04/02/2004 20:59

I definitely would, it sounds like they need some help sorting out their tempers! It is totally unacceptable for any child to be put in a situation like that, especially one so young, it must be so awful for her
I wouldn't hesitate in calling social services, you don't have to give your name, and at least you would feel better knowing that someone was loooking into it.

squirmyworm · 04/02/2004 21:00

I would - it may just give them the wake up call they need to think what they are doing to the little one.

Hulababy · 04/02/2004 21:01

It sounds as if this isn't a one off so yes, I think I would call someone about it. You can never be sure whether the child ever becomes involved in their fights can you? And you can do it without leaving your name too I think.

Original poster

Paula71 · 04/02/2004 21:51

Thanks folks, my friends are also saying to phone. The reason I hesitate is last year I called regarding the little girl across the road (what a pleasant place I live in!) Her parents are drug-dealers and she was being neglected.

I know social services are heavily involved and when I was at my ds twins 2-year-old review I spoke to my HV who pities me having to live here! She gave me the number of someone at SS to call as the more people who call apparently the more they can do. My friend who lives above the family uses the number frequently.

Now we've got this. They were fighting again just before I posted which is why I posted. My mate was looking out her window too at them. She is also desperate to leave which is a shame as these are lovely houses!

OP posts:

Original poster

Paula71 · 04/02/2004 21:52

Dare I add - can where you live make you depressed?

I feel like I am the social conscience of this road, a never-ending battle!

OP posts:

nutcracker · 04/02/2004 22:17

YES ,where you live can definatly make you depressed. We are overcrowded where we live and are currently trying to get our neighbours evicted for noise (music, screaming s houting e.t.c). I have been awarded medical priority for depression as living here is literally driving me mad.
I think i would call SS, it would play on my mind if i didn't.

Angeliz · 04/02/2004 22:20

Yes!
It must be awful for that poor little girl!
As squirmyworm said, even if it's only a wakeup call for them to realise that a child is a responsibility!!!

HiddenSpirit · 05/02/2004 21:27

I agree, I would phone too. I think if I were in your situation, I would have to hold myself back from running out there, getting the little girl and taking her into my house and telling them that until they calm down and sort themselves out their daughter would be in my house. Would probably end up with a nice visit from the Police for kidnapping though!

And yes I agree with nutcracker, where you live can make you depressed. Like her, we are over crowded (me, DP, DS1, DD & DS2 in a 2 bed smallish flat) and have been told by the council that it will be at least 2 years before we get a 3 bed house

nutcracker · 05/02/2004 21:29

Hiddenspirit- where do you live ?????

Gilli · 05/02/2004 21:35

Paula71 - you are absolutely right to phone - and as someone who sees the results of this in the courts regularly, can I say that that little girl NEEDS someone like you to call up help for her. She is at risk, if only mentally. PLEASE PLEASE call the SS number you have, and also call your local police station and ask for a number to contact the local child protection officer, and tell everyone you speak to that you are noting the call and who you speak to. Good luck and well done.

HiddenSpirit · 05/02/2004 21:36

Plymouth nutcracker

JeniN · 05/02/2004 21:39

Yes, please do. I think you can call the nspcc for advice on stuff like this, but ss (or police if they fight in the street again) would be more direct and it sounds necessary. Poor you, though, it's horrible to have to.

nutcracker · 05/02/2004 21:40

Yes definatley make a note of who you called, who they were and briefly what they said. I've lost count of how many times i've had to convince people that i have spoken to them before and they were going to do xyz.

Hiddenspirit- I took my dd's to the sea life centre there when we went to looe bay.
How old are your kids ????? Mine are 6,4 and 1. It's just awful i think, that we can't get decent places to live. I hate it.

HiddenSpirit · 05/02/2004 21:45

Ours are 5, 4 & 2 NC, and yes it is complete sh*t that we can't get a decent size place. Especially when DP's ex got a 2 bedroom flat with only her in it! What rubbed salt in the wounds more though, is the fact it is on the same landing, on the same estate of flats as us!!!! (look out our front door and you see hers )

nutcracker · 05/02/2004 21:57

Oh my god Hs, i'm not sure i could cope with that. I had a right kick in the guts once. A letter came through my door from the counicl, i didn't even bother to look at the name and address as i assumed it was for me. It was an offer of accomodation (a 3 bed house) but it wasn't for me, it had come to the wrong address
Have to say i cried buckets.

HiddenSpirit · 05/02/2004 22:07

OMG NC, I would have been so heartbroken if that happened to me

I got so depressed last night cause I just don't want to be away from here. Was looking at private rented, but unless the council would pay a fair whack in housing benefit, we can't afford it

Tell you what NC, why don't we ask the council in an area we'd both like, to give us a 7 bed house and we'll share it

On second thoughts, no, you'd probably want to murder me within a week lol

nutcracker · 05/02/2004 22:14

Hey good idea HS, why didn't i think of that.
We have considered private renting too but can't afford it really. The cheapest i've found around here so far was 495 a month but it hadn't got dg or ch. I asked the council how we would find out if they would pay any of the rent and they sent us these forms that you fill in if you find anywhere. Still no good though as they don't help with the deposit i don't think and my friend who earns less than my dp doesn't get help with her rent so....... I really must go and have a bath now. Bye

HiddenSpirit · 05/02/2004 22:29

Enjoy your bath NC, and I'll keep my fingers/toes crossed for you

Original poster

Paula71 · 06/02/2004 22:12

Indeed NC and HS I can share your frustration, the only thing is I like my house, it is big enough for us and has a garden. The HA refuse to build a partition fence between us and the monkeys next door but apart from that I like the house. I just wish I could transport it somewhere a little less...entertaining!

Well I called, it took four attempts to get through to the social worker who deals with this area and then I had to leave a message on her voice mail!!!! So I contacted my HV who sympathises with me having to live here and is a good sort. She is going to speak to the social worker directly as she will end up dealing with them too!

As far as I am concerned I have reported it - I hope to God something happens. I visited my Mum yesterday and as I was getting the boys into the car they started up again. I think the woman is maybe suffering from some mental problems herself, she screeches like you wouldn't believe!

OP posts:

WSM · 06/02/2004 22:14

I would do it, but ask to remain anonymous. Somebody has to take responsibility for this little girls welfare. It sems you are the only one willing to even think about taking the first step.

HiddenSpirit · 06/02/2004 22:25

Funny Paula, I got a next door neighbour that screeches like you wouldn't believe. The neighbour on the other side is just a nut case who in the past hit her dp (now ex dp, he left her) and her DS! SS are involved and thankfully awarded custody to the DP of their little baby girl. He can't take the son on though as he is not the boy's father.

Glad you decided to report it though It's up to HV and SS now.

Levanna · 06/02/2004 23:47

Hi Paula71, I really think you've done the right thing too. As a child I was desperate for someone to help myself and my siblings. I'm sure that certain 'family friends' were well aware of how my step dad and mother used to treat us, someone could have helped us, but no-one did. For me, it's nearly as hard to take in as what actually happened to us was!
I really feel on a personal level that what you have done is special. I do think we all have a responsibility to children in our society to look out for them, just in case the people who are meant to be aren't.

Flip