Just heard a good friend has cancer - what can I do to help?

[edam]

I have no idea what to do to support her. She's one of the Mums at school and a neighbour who I really get on with and socialise with but I've heard from a mutual friend. She has two kids, one primary age, one just started secondary.

Docs say aggressive chemo - has a good outlook apparently as she's reasonably 'young' (for cancer, she's early 40s) and healthy.

Has anyone been in her shoes and can tell me what would be helpful and not irritating or clumsy? Or had family and friends go through this and know what I can or should do?

I would send her a message and say you've heard and you're sorry. Offer practical help - to have her DC over to give her a break, as her chemo progresses if she's having a tough time you could make a couple of home-cooked meals that will freeze.

The funny thing about cancer treatment is, ime (with my aunt), the better your outlook, the more awful the chemo. They go at it hard, for the young and healthy. If it's anything like I know, she will be tired, nauseous, might pick up a secondary infection.

Definitely make contact and offer practical help if you can. When I was dx with cancer I was so scared that I had periods when I had to put DS infront of a DVD and just sit and breathe because I felt so overwhelmed. Friends were fantastic - having DS to play while I attended appointments, batch cooking freezer meals, just phoning so I could offload.

Thank you both, really helps to hear from people who have been there.

She's told me she's overwhelmed with people calling at the moment, and her family are coming down next weekend, but she says she might need some help over the summer. I will stay in touch in case she needs stuff sooner than that, and have said she can always rant at me if she's pissed off but doesn't want to upset her husband and kids. Will also suggest I can cook a few dinners or have the kids over!

(Her ds and mine share a birthday, which somehow makes it even more poignant.)

Oh, AndHarry, I hope you are doing really well and the bugger of a disease has gone away for good!

Oh yes, all fine. Should have said it was a misdiagnosis so I had the surgery but didn't have to go through chemo :)

Wow! Glad to hear it, although must have been terrifying.