Did I do the right thing? Feeling really bad now!

[Rhubarb]

I had arranged to collect dd's friend with her from school today to play over at our house. But this afternoon her teacher phoned to say that dd was ill and vomiting. I tried to phone the little boy's mum but she wasn't in. When I arrived at the school they said dd wasn't very well and had been sick twice. I asked them if they had another number for this boy's mum as I couldn't pick him up, and they said "you're not coming back for him?" I said no, of course not, my dd is vomiting and ill I can't possibly come back for her friend and take him to our house! He might get whatever bug she has! So they reluctantly searched for an alternative number for his mother but couldn't find one. So they phoned his dad at work and said that they would keep him in the after-school club until his mother came for him. When I got back home I tried their home number again and left a message explaining everything.

Just now, 6.15pm, the mum has called for her little boy! She's been out all day and hasn't had her messages! The poor boy has been in school from 4.20pm! I now feel really guilty but what could I have done? She just confirmed she doesn't have a mobile phone. Should I have picked him up and kept him here do you think?

No you did what was best at the time and it was only one day he probably had a ball if he oesn't normally go to the club he would have had loads new things to do.

Why couldn't his dad pick him up? What would you have done if you had picked up the child and then he had become ill? His mother should have given you a contact number for use in emergencies. If she didn't, she can't complain that she couldn't be contacted.

Keeping him at after school club doesn't seem such a terrible option particularly if they had contacted his father and he OK'd it.

No!

What would she have done if it was her child who'd been ill and the school couldn't get in contact?

You made sure he was being cared for, but there's no doubt in my mind that you did the right thing. I'd have done the same.

Rhubarb - don't beat yourself up - you couldn't have done anything else

If you are like me - you will relive the afternoon over and over again tying to 'fix it' and you can't - relax, you have apologised and the school should have had an alternative number - what could the school have done if he had thrown up? They woldn't have been able to contact her either

His dad was at work. I presume the mum just thought that everything would be ok, we only arranged it last night and dd was fine this morning. I knew the mother had a dentist appointment at 5pm and I had a funny feeling that she'd probably not go home afterwards, she does a lot of running about with their eldest son. If she doesn't have a mobile I suppose she couldn't give me an emergency contact. I hope they consider getting one now!

I still feel really bad though, the school seemed to assume that I'd come back and pick up the little boy as planned, regardless of whether dd's bug was contagious or not! He'd have been bored stiff too, dd is just lying on the sofa sleeping and vomiting!

it's not the fact that he would have caught the bug,it's the fact that you would have had to drag a sick dd out of the house and up to the school.
you did the right thing.

If the dad was cotacted then it was up to him, obviously the person you spoke to at scholl hadn't really thought it through and just wanted what was easier for them. If the Dad was Ok with the after school care then it was fine.

Would you be cracking up if it was the other way round, no probably not. You would just be happy that it was sorted out and that your son was being looked after and hope that the other persons child was feeling better soon.

I wouldn't have had to drag dd out again, dh was in to look after her, but the school didn't know that. In theory I suppose I could have picked her son up and taken him back here to wait for his mum. Only I would have had to entertain him and he ran the risk of catching dd's bug.

If you were the mum, would you have preferred that I did this rather than leave him at school?

Rhubarb - this would have happened in my case - the school (and anyone that looks after dd) has at least 4 telephone numbers for her

If it was a problem his dad should have picked him up

I would not have wanted my child to go round if another child had the vomiting bug

As long as he was being looked after, I wouldn't mind-- and I certainly wouldn't want him to be exposed to a horrible bug (especially so close to half term!)

Is there an issue about having to pay for the club? Maybe you could, as a gesture, offer to pay half. To which she will reply 'of course not!'

Good idea! I'll do that!

I think you did the right thing Rhubarb.

And I agree with trefusis that once the DH was informed, he should have arranged to pick up the child, or have someone else pick him up.

You did the right thing. The father had been contacted but chose not to do anything about it. The boy was safe so you don't need to worry. I'd have done the same in that situation.

Thanks everyone. Dd has miraclously improved! She was a vomiting wreck last night, but she went to sleep at 8pm, didn't get up and is now all lively and hungry! She wants to play with this little boy tomorrow now, but I'm embarrassed to phone after telling his mum that she probably had gastric flu!