Does anyone else have problems with thier Mother -in Law?

[RuthT]

Okay ... deep breath.....

My MIL is driving me bananas. I never thought I would have an issue with her once I had a baby. I in my idiot state belived that she would be thrilled and a great grandparent. But no...

Anyone seen the Woody Allen film 'Manhatten' where Mia Farrow plays a woman who is passive aggresive. This is my MIL. She kind of says things but doesn't so you are never really sure of her intent.

Here is an example.

I came back from 4 days away from dd and MIL with FIL were staying with DH. I got an earlier flight (getting up at 3.30am UK time) so that I could see dd. This was my first time away. When I got back I had just missed her she was in bed asleep. So I waited. DH said when she wakes up we are going out to do whatever. I said no wait until I have seen her as I haven't and came home early so that I could. He of course understood. I go upstairs to see dd as she wakes and in meantime she phones her friend who she is going to see next day and complains that they haven't got out and nothing is doing so they may as well go early. DH calls her on behaviour and she shuts up but is offish with me and remains so ubtil I say I'll go back into work for a couple of hours.

Later she comments (as dd is not eating lunch) that dd was great with DH and ate really well in preceeding days.

Sorry a bit of a rant.

Is it something psycological that MIL and DIl just don't get on?

Any suggestions?

My MIL can be nasty and makes horrible comments like - where did you get that dress from, it doesn't suit you at all. Or you have had your hair cut . . . The silence at the end suggestive of how much she hates it.

I think it is because no one is good enough for her son. May be I will feel like this (if i had a son).

I shouldn't really slag my MIL off because she does an awful lot for us, financially and child-care wise, but I still find her very very wearing. She's over-dramatic to say the least (she hyper-ventiled and burst into tears when she saw our newly decorated loung ), and she subtley implies that my housekeeping and cooking aren't quite up to scratch. She picked up a photo of our DDs from the mantlepiece last week and started to say how small they were etc etc, but then went into an over-the-top wheezing fake asthma attack, put the photo down and said "you really don't like dusting do you dear" .

In short YES! Too many examples. Of course it doesn't help when DH will never admit any of it. So have to try and not let it come between us and just hope I will one day have the chance to become the perfect MIL

I so wanted to post on this thread but MIL was staying to look after son while I work (mon and tues). Argh what is it with them are we going to be like that!

My son was singing yesterday I love my daddy, brother and nanny, no mention of mummy (She taught him that song).
I have soo many bad stories i could fill this page. One of the worst though was when I was pg with second child.

I was in hospital as I had placenta previa but the doc let me home for the weekend. I got home, the place was a mess and I had to clean up, she watched me clean the kitchen floor, didn't once tell me to rest, and I had to go back into hospital the same day because of bleed.

When I had my son, she and my dh came to visit. At 5pm she said to him 'Shall we go now?' I said visiting time ends at 9, she said well Im going now and my dh went with her!!

Grr I should write a book, she would prob find it though. She is obsessed with murder tv programmes (on really loudly as shes mutton). And those really sad true life docs like: I was born with no legs.

She shouts all the time as well. Thanks feel better now.