Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Other subjects
Original poster

I hate baby clinics....

25 replies

clairabelle · 28/01/2004 10:03

Are they designed to make me feel like an inferior being? Why is it my ds always wees on me and shouts for England at the sheer injustice of it all whilst other babies are angels and their mums look at me like I'm something they've trodden in!

OP posts:
WideWebWitch · 28/01/2004 10:15

Hey, I do too clairabelle so I don't go! You don't have to either - go to things that make you feel good instead. A mother and baby group? Some of them have HVs in attendance briefly just to weigh babies if that's what you want to know. I remember feeling as you do the first time round and still I went. Mad, so this time I haven't. HTH.

Original poster
clairabelle · 28/01/2004 10:18

I only went becos ds 10 weeks has had awful colic and been refusing feeds so just wanted to check he wasn't fading away!! 13lb 9oz I think not Avoided them like the plague with dd and now I remember why!

OP posts:
secur · 28/01/2004 10:19

Message withdrawn

squirmyworm · 28/01/2004 10:36

this is so interesting. As a first timer, I've religiously gone to clinic every week. I don't find it too bad (though it's a bit of a hassle to dress ds all warmly, only to completely strip him off ten minutes later at clinic just to weigh him - and he's one of those 'I hate being naked so I'll scream loudly' babies). HOWEVER I'm starting to get really intrigued about the mum/HV relationship. Our HV is new and although we've had a bit of an issue with lack of weight gain with my ds, I'd say broadly she's been supportive and helpful, offering advice (even if I don't necessarily want to take it without a bit of my own research and thought first) rather than insisting on things. I have though heard horror stories from others who say they've had a terrible time with their HV and there seems to be loads of that kind of experience on mumsnet too. I'm sure this has been discussed before but I'd be interested in any insights as to why this happens. Are there any mumsnetters out there who are HV's themselves I wonder? Sorry if this is going over old ground.

Angeliz · 28/01/2004 11:09

clairabelle, as others have said, if they make you feel so bad just don't go! I went to the first few but then didn't bother as it seemed pointless. (unless you wanted to chart her weight and height ets and i guess you could do that anyway) If you were worried about anything see your G.P. I really wouldn't go to something you and your son are clearly unhappy with+++

kiwisbird · 28/01/2004 11:49

I hate them too, my DD (15 mths now) is very small for her age due to a genetic inability to absorb fats (lucky cow if she still has it when shes 30 lol)
I cannot stand the way you are made to feel second class if your baby differs from the fat helathy rounded norm.
Bonus was everyone thinks shes incredible walking at 5 months old hee hee
I now make a sep appt to see HV alone, she is very understanding about it.
xx J

motherinferior · 28/01/2004 12:03

I agree that the HV/mum relationship is very interesting, sw - I think they are in this very odd semi-friend semi-professional position. Having said which I can't stand mine.

And I hate hate hate the baby clinic and the only consolation of the few occasions I have taken dd2 is that everyone looks just as knackered and baggy as me.

Davros · 28/01/2004 12:03

I don't go with my second baby (she's 10.5 months). And I haven't been for her developmental checks either, they can whistle. I didn't have HVs who made me feel inadequate but I thought they were!!

Original poster
clairabelle · 28/01/2004 12:04

Lol the incredible 5 month old walking baby!

OP posts:
handlemecarefully · 28/01/2004 12:06

Crikey Kiwisbird - she IS incredible!!!!!!

secur · 28/01/2004 12:26

Message withdrawn

bundle · 28/01/2004 12:34

secur, in my clinic I was told hv's too busy looking out for 'at risk' children being brought in to be weighed - so she could grab them & get the gist of what they were up to - to be bothered with whingeing mums moaning about sore nipples, fussy babies etc

oliveoil · 28/01/2004 13:02

My hv was fab, it's the competitive mothers waiting their turn that are the pain 'oooooh mine's sleeping through. He only feeds at 11/1/3/5 and then its 7' etc. What I loved was the fact that my dd was huge and weighed loads more than the competitive mum next to me and her face made me smirk, ha. I know, I am pathetic.

gingerbear · 28/01/2004 13:16

I used to take DD about 5 mins before the end of the clinic - very quiet as either empty or only a few mums left by then.

Now I don't bother - if I have any concerns about her health I would rather see the doc.

bobsmum · 28/01/2004 13:24

I remember one weigh-in with ds at 10 wks. I "overheard" a mum and dad discussing very loudly, for the benefit of all the other parents, how their darling dd (also 10 weeks) was saying "mumma" and "dadda" and how she could do X, Y and Z because she was unusually gifted. The HV, receptionist and practice nurse all turned round, rolled their eyes and sighed. Said "gifted" child was back in the surgery for her injections at 14 months, saying absolutely nothing other than a few grunts and the mother was still boasting loudly about her genius child. The only thing baby clinics do is help you develop a thick skin.

coppertop · 28/01/2004 13:48

My favourite baby clinic moment was when a mother had just removed her baby boy's nappy. As with most boys, this one weed straight up into the air. However, this particular stream plopped straight into the HV's coffee.

If that red-faced mother is a Mumsnetter, I would like to thank her from the bottom of my heart for really cheering me up on an otherwise depressing afternoon.

eidsvold · 28/01/2004 13:59

I used to find them daunting only cause dd ( who had to be stripped) had a zipper on her chest thanks to two open heart surgeries - and I found it very amusing to see mum's desparately trying not to stare at her but failing miserably... ( i know I am sad) She would also regularly wee on the scales..... so don't worry about that....

However I found if I went up early - although they said they started from 2 I oftern got there at 10 minutes to and quickly got in and out

having said that I am lucky for having a brilliant hv.

If you don't feel comfortable - don't go....

secur · 28/01/2004 14:01

Message withdrawn

Tortington · 28/01/2004 15:57

i never went to the baby clinic - which all my in laws thought was alien - and the question "how much does he/she weigh now?" after the answer i havent got a bloody clue for every answer - they soon stopped asking. i always thought if any one was concerned ( as i was not concerned with their weight) they could come to my bloody house to do it. quite frankly getting multiple young people ready to go out for a session of whinging moaning crying wailing was about as appealing to me as giving birth to twins vaginally.

dont go if you dont want

jasper · 28/01/2004 23:13

never seen the point of them myself

susanmt · 29/01/2004 00:23

There is a huge review underway of child development checks at the moment anyway and they are all going to be scrapped except birth-6weeks and pre-school as they a sod all use. Health visitors are going to be asked to concentrate more on at risk families and leave people who dont want to see them alone.
Mind you, I'm currently an at risk mum and really value my HV input, but when I am better I will expect her to butt out!

Marina · 29/01/2004 12:08

Our clinic seems to work the other way Bundle - they are all far too busy putting the screws on anxious, polite mums whose babies are not the size of a house to go out and find babies whose lives really are difficult or even in jeopardy.
I am supposed to have taken dd back to be weighed some time in January after she slithered gracefully down the weight centile charts this Autumn. I just love the way it is assumed you have up to 1.5 hours to sit on your behind in the middle of what for many is a working day, while they amble through a pile of Red Books and conduct confidential conversations with parents in an adjacent room without bothering to shut the door. Appointment? Whyever should a mere custodian of a baby need one of those?
As it is the 31st at the weekend I am confidently expecting a reproachful phone message on Monday. My HVs are actually quite nice but jobsworths where the Red Book is concerned and completely humourless.
I'm so glad your HV this time is being so helpful, Susan, you're owed it after the last one! And I think that review is long overdue.

Tinker · 29/01/2004 12:34

Well, apart from the sweaty anxiety of trying to dress your wriggling baby in front of other more efficient mothers, I actually liked going to the clinic. It gave me some structure to my maternity leave. I didn't go to any baby and toddler groups so it was the only place I actually saw any other babies. They always remembered my name and my daughter's. Even now, at 6, when she goes for her eye tests they still remember her name.

I got great support from my first HV when trying to get my daughter's father to show any interest and later on (from a different HV) when I was having problems with my daughter's sleeping. My clinic always felt cosy and local

Davros · 29/01/2004 14:12

I quite enjoyed it the first time round, 8 years ago. It also gave me some structure and I had some cronies I went with and we'd go for coffee after. However, I know the HVs were USELESS in terms of spotting any problems as my son is severely autistic and none of them picked up anything unusual, even when I asked about his constant rocking, going cross eyed and not caring if I was nearby or far away. I also had little else to do in those days...!!! Now I won't go as I have far too much to do, I don't need any more cronies and I know more about devleopmental disorders than they do.

kiwisbird · 29/01/2004 15:45

Re the 5 mth walking baby
she is size of 5 mth odl she is actually 15 mths, but everyone just assumes she is 6 mths etc, so it would be cruel to let them think that a baby is outside the centile charts that they so love to follow!!
LOL

New posts on this thread. Refresh page