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Original poster

Mumsnet Consensus: What would be fair?

46 replies

Twiglett · 15/05/2006 10:50

If I took someone's 5 year old for a day .. ie school holidays and they go to work so have him 8.30 till 6 and I wanted that person to babysit for me (both kids asleep) from 8pm till 11pm what would be a fair ratio?

ie 1 day of childminding = how many evenings of babysitting?

OP posts:

carla · 15/05/2006 11:19

I think you've hit the nail on the head. Having to entertain someone else's child during the day makes my day kind of easier - dds view it as a treat, someone round to beef up their day/make it more exciting. However, me having to go round to someone else's house, leaving mine to H, wondering how they are, not having my creature comforts around me, is a different ball game. Hope that makes some sense

iota · 15/05/2006 11:19

X post Jimjams - we think alike

pucca · 15/05/2006 11:20

I would rather do a couple of evenings than a full day of entertaining!

At least the evenings the kids are asleep, easy peasy!

Original poster

Twiglett · 15/05/2006 11:22

stuck again at knowing the right ration .. think I'll stick with 1:2

jimjams .. even with NT kids its not a piece of piss .. some children create a more difficult dynamic to deal with and at 5 they can find it difficult to follow house rules (yes I know its very different with a child with SN)

as for who babysits theirs .. one of the parents does and the other one comes over here to sit on our couch

OP posts:

pucca · 15/05/2006 11:23

What is NT kids?

Jimjamskeepingoffvaxthreads · 15/05/2006 11:24

It's a piece of piss compared to having ds2 (NT) here by himself- I was comparing it within the NT world, factoring out autism. Its easier having two 4 year olds here than ds2 whinging on to me all afternoon because he's bored.

Jimjamskeepingoffvaxthreads · 15/05/2006 11:25

NT - neurotypical - "normal"

Wordsmith · 15/05/2006 11:25

Look at it this way - you'd pay a nursery or childminder about £30 for a day's childcare like that. How much would you pay a babysitter to go out for the evening? I'd pay about £15, so I'd say 1:2 is about right.

pucca · 15/05/2006 11:26

Oh right, was driving me mad as i couldn't work out what it stood for lol.

carla · 15/05/2006 11:26

I was wondering what a NT child is, too.

nellie245 · 15/05/2006 11:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 15/05/2006 11:28

Yes, evening rates are more expensive than day rates due to unsocial hours element.

1:2 seems fair IMO.

Im guessing that you just arent happy about hte whole scenario though Twig

FrannyandZooey · 15/05/2006 11:32

I agree 1:2. It is a pain being sat in someone else's house for the evening, however comfortable it is, also I would class anything past 9.30 as unsociable hours as I reserve the right to be tucked up in bed by then!

zippitippitoes · 15/05/2006 11:37

I also find that I have a psychological aversion to evening babysitting in that I always feel exceptionally tired to the point of exhaustion when i do it..just because i know I can't go to bed

Original poster

Twiglett · 15/05/2006 11:43

with some kids it would be fine and I'd probably quite happily just do it .. in fact with some kids I do just do it

this particular comes up with 'could you do me a favour' quite regularly .. and I always say yes .. he is, shall we say, challenging in the extreme .. always has been ..

no I'm not especially happy .. but I do want to go out .. DH and I don't really go out at night and we've decided we'd quite like to

OP posts:

iota · 15/05/2006 11:45

I always find an excuse not to have challenging children round I stick to the easy ones

LittleSarah · 15/05/2006 11:51

1:2 seems fair to me. I think evening sitting is easy peasy - mostly - if kids go to bed etc... still I only have 1 dd so I look forward to the day when she has friends round to occupy her!

Also, at one agency I know of evening sitters were £8 an hour..

LittleSarah · 15/05/2006 11:52

Plus I am never in bed before 11!

(Well, rarely)

babaworshipper · 15/05/2006 11:58

hmmm, just wondering, are you at home anyway? Does she work? Could it be a case of she is assuming you haven't got anything better to do anyway and therefore it doesn't matter?

Just wondering because I have come across this myself as a stay at home mum.

Original poster

Twiglett · 15/05/2006 12:59

haven't even broached the subject before tbh .. I'm sure it won't be an issue at all .. just wanted a consensus on what seemed fair to others

I'm a SAHM .. this particular person works part-time .. I do think its easy to assume that SAHMs are doing it anyway but honestly it just change when other kids, particularly challenging ones, are thrown into the mix

OP posts:

babaworshipper · 15/05/2006 13:20

Fair I would say is two evenings. Three too many one not enough, but from their point of view that is two evenings that they are can't spend together due to one in your house one looking after their kids.

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