Naming ceremonies - rubbish or good?

[ladyjess]

I would quite like to have a naming ceremony for my sons, they are both under 3. I don't want them christened as my dad forced his reborn christian views on us for years!! (no offence to christians, just how I feel).

We chose 'god' parents (well, oibviously not real god parents) and I would like them to be recognised, IYKWIM.

do you think naming ceremonies are naff? have you been to any nice ones? do you know anyone who does them?

I live in Brighton.

thanks.

hi neighbour
I think it is nice to have something to mark the birth of a child. my niece has 2 kids and din't get them chrisened or have a naming ceremony and i think it was such a shame as we all feel we missed out on wellcoming them.

I think it depends who you invite. If it's just friends and family who live nearby that's fine. But if you get into the busy of sending out invitations to everyone you know it becomes another nightmare wedding scenario and can look a bit like you're just after presents IMO!! I know going to all my friends' wedings around the country was very expensive and I don't think we'll bother with people's christenings for that reason

Ahhh.....we had what the 'vicar' discribed as a naming ceremony and it was terrible I got quite upset at how 'shite' the whole thing was - think it was probably due to the vicar that we had but godparents were not even acknowledged or mentioned and the vicar kept harping on about "how this wasn't a proper christening and therefore he was unable to bless my baby!"! He made us stand at the front for all of 2 mins and didn't even touch the baby!! Am expecting baby no2 soon and will have DS1 christened properly with the newbie.
Sorry to rant but I got really embarassed and upset for my guests.....make sure you know exactly what the vicar is going to do before you choose as there are a few variations ie: blessing, christening, name ceremony!!

compo - good point, i didn't actually think about pressies. could just say no presents, just bottles of wine for me.
2shoes - neighbour - where do you live then? i know what you mean, it would be nice to have some sort of occasion to mark their arrival (even though it is 9 months and 2.5 years too late!!).

\link{http://www.humanism.org.uk/site/cms/contentviewarticle.asp?article=1174\The Humanist Association} do a good guide to non-religious naming ceremonies, either that you do yourself or that a Humanist celebrant leads for you. Some friends had one for their twins and it was a beautiful, joyous occasion, and very personal because they wrote their own ceremony.

I don't think there's any reason a naming ceremony should be naff, so long as it's handled either with a certain amount of ceremony and gravity or in a completely familial, informal way - it's the halfway points that can make it uncomfortable. I think as you’ve chosen godparents already the former may be the better way to go.

When we were looking for a way to have a non-Christian but not non-spiritual (ie not civil) wedding, we found several things you might find useful:

There are 'inter-faith ministers' who are trained in and specialise in this kind of thing - they vary widely in personality and philosophy though, so you need to find one who you like. \link{http://www.inter-faith.net/\This chap's site} is a good place to start but I don't think is very near you - \link{http://www.spiritualharmonics.com/interfaith.htm\this lady} is geographically closer and (you can tell from the site) has a slightly different style. They differ from the Humanists in that they don't have an agenda or doctrine of their own but take their cue from the people they're working with.

The other people we liked the look of were the Unitarians - they're technically Christian but very inclusive - apart from the legally-neccesary bits we were able to write our wedding ceremony completely from scratch with absolutely no constraints on form or content.
Couple of pages on Unitarians and baby-naming \link{http://www.theopenmind.org.uk/worship/Rites/celebrate.html\here} and \link{http://www.theopenmind.org.uk/about/leaflets/births.html\here}, and some suggestions for readings \link{http://www.theopenmind.org.uk/worship/Rites/bapt_readings.html\here}. If you like the look of them it might be worth finding out if you have any nearby - or a maybe a less local minister could come to a venue local to you.

Alternatively if you do get on with a local minister already, you may be able to work something out with him!

ladyjess brighton of course:o

ooh yes, i have looked at all the sites linked below and will investigate further. i might even just get a friend to conduct a ceremony, she is a good public speaker and seeing as there is nothing legal involved, we can just do what we like!
thanks all for your advice.

ooh yes, i have looked at all the sites linked below and will investigate further. i might even just get a friend to conduct a ceremony, she is a good public speaker and seeing as there is nothing legal involved, we can just do what we like!
thanks all for your advice.

We had a naming ceremony for DD1, and I thought it was lovely. We had a humnaist guy who did it in our backgarden. We had guideparents who made promises to our DD (to be there to help her, support her etc etc), we made promises to her, gave her a special gift of a white gold bracelet and then everyone drank a toast to her and we all had a good party. The formal bit lasted about 10 mins, and was more of a toast that a formal cermemony. Afterwards, we asked all the guests to write a quick message to her just saying welcome, and have a nice life etc, and then we put in a photo of that person next to their comments.
I thoroughly enjoyed the day, but next time will not do it at home -too much hassle and I will also hire a bouncy castle next time to keep the kids entertained (and the big kids too!)

Like you, I think it is nice to do something, but I didn't want a Christening - we're atheists and I thought it would be pretty hypocritical to have a church do. So we had a naming ceremony. Lots of people said it was lovely - but they could just have been saying that!

We had a humanist naming ceremony for DS -- I think it went well. We had three "godparents" who made promises to DS and each chose a reading, and DH and I each said a short piece about how we hoped to bring DS up, and the celebrant talked about the importance of family and friends in all of this. And we had champagne and cake and nibbles. People said they really enjoyed it and that it was nice to go to something individual and personal like that.