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Original poster

Quick - what do I do

21 replies

Carla · 22/01/2004 18:40

5 yr old (just) threatening to get her coat on and join another country and family unless I let her do stained glass windows before her bath. What do I do????????

OP posts:

Oakmaiden · 22/01/2004 18:42

Tell her to do as she is told and get in the bath.

mummysurfer · 22/01/2004 18:44

1)Ignore her!
2) help her put her coat on
3)"any more fuss and the paints go in the bin. 5 4 3 2 1 "

SoupDragon · 22/01/2004 18:48

Suggest that if she doesn't stop being silly, she won't get a bed time story.

zebra · 22/01/2004 18:49

Say, "Go on then; where and who would you like to live with?"

aloha · 22/01/2004 18:51

So, what did you do?

Original poster

Carla · 22/01/2004 18:54

Thank you. Paints would be easy but it's cutting out bits of cellophane and shapes from card. She's SO defiant, she's turning into my husband. All started after school - cooked her bacon - only thing she'll eat at the moment - had a friend round and know she's starving after school as she doesn't eat any of her packed lunch. Told her to sit down & eat her bacon. She didn't. Then told me it was too cold to eat and anyway she wanted sausages (which she's refused for last 6 months). Then being really cheeky but this threatening to leave home for a better family (it's been said before) really drives me to distraction as I know I do the best I possibly can for her. How can a 5 year old be so horrible? I knew I might be in for a bad afternoon when I picked her up from school, but never, ever, in a million years imagined I'd have to deal with this in a 5 year old.

Feel really guilty now, have shouted my head off to her and even offered her her coat.

OP posts:

zebra · 22/01/2004 18:54

Here's my quick question (hahaha) -- where can I find a short mpeg of video on the Internet showing ballerinas dancing? Or should I just go buy DD an Angelina Ballerina (grimmace-faced I'll be) DVD tomorrow... but do they actually do any mouse-ballet-dancing in that DVD?

hmb · 22/01/2004 18:55

My mother used to pack a bad for my Brother when he used to pull this one! Not sure if I'd advise that , but bro is a happy well adjusted guy!

Tinker · 22/01/2004 18:57

Oh don't worry about them being defiant and about your shouting - you're both tired My daughter told me I was a "rubbish mummy" the other day.

codswallop · 22/01/2004 18:58

zeb have you seen the M and S learn to do ballet video - my niece LErves it

Original poster

Carla · 22/01/2004 18:59

She's just called to say she's in the bath and washed everything. Aaaaaaaaaaaagh. Guilt. What the hell can you do? I'm mad at her but even madder at me.

OP posts:

musica · 22/01/2004 19:20

Carla, I think this is normal! I certainly packed my bags and told my mum I was going to live with my aunt. And my best friend and I made great plans to run away at midnight, if only we could manage to wake up.....

Seriously, I think you handled it fine! I read that kids test the boundaries, but actually gain their security from the boundaries being solid. So if you had let her do the windows, perhaps she would have felt let down or worried!

zebra · 22/01/2004 19:29

Just wait until she's a teenager, Carla...
Sorry, I'm no help at all, am I?
I expect she says these things because she can tell they have effect. That's why we're all saying replies to the effect of, don't let it get to you, make it clear you don't take the words seriously, and don't back down unless maybe you are willing to compromise somehow.

Thanks for the tip, Codsy. DD has taken to standing with 1 leg sticking out to her side, chuffed with herself; she looks like a ballerina (honest, as much as her tubby tummy & flabby bum allow). Think she would love the structure & rites of a dance class and what she could do with her body there.

Original poster

Carla · 22/01/2004 19:41

Thank you all for everything which has made me feel better about this afternoon/evening. Oakmaiden, what would you have done if you had just said 'get into the bath please' and the response was 'no, I'm not going to'? I don't know how to deal with responses like that.

OP posts:

tamum · 22/01/2004 19:43

Zebra, some of the Angelina videos (the more recent ones) have lots of interludes of real children doing ballet lessons. You still get "Angelina" doing the commentary, I'm afraid.....

SoupDragon · 22/01/2004 19:45

I would have stripped DS1, put his PJs on (nearly 5) and put him straight to bed. I think I would have helped him pack actually (in my fantasy world, I would do this quite calmly) and sent him on his way towards the front door.

DS2 (nearly 3) is really the defiant one though. He's impossible to deal with when he gets something set in his mind.

Original poster

Carla · 22/01/2004 20:07

Soupdragon,
What if he actually went? DD was SO stroppy I think she might have walked out of the door.

OP posts:

Angeliz · 22/01/2004 20:36

i agree with musica, it's good to keep the boundaries there and not back down,(sometimes obviously it's good to back down aswell and let them win some battles-give and take).
As for her being horrible, my dd says she doesn't love me anymore sometimes when she loses and, "It's not fair" ,at the top of her voice and she's not yet 3!!!
God help me
I hope you are feeling better

SoupDragon · 22/01/2004 20:46

I don't think my DS1 would go, Carla. I think it would confuse him so much that I was agreeing with him and helping him leave that he'd freeze up. It still usually works when I say goodbye to him and walk away if he's refusing to come with me.

DS2? Hmmm. I suspect he might find his way to the airport and actually score a free ticket to Australia all by himself.

berries · 23/01/2004 08:33

I offered to call my dd a taxi last time she threatened this. She regularly says shes going to live with friend as her mummy is much nicer. However, she also whispered at bed time that she knew I knew she didn't mean it, so that was ok wasn't it.

madgirl · 23/01/2004 08:46

i am sure she gets lots of cuddles and love from you as well as this stuff. if she's getting the nice stuff, don't beat yourself up. at least SHE'S NORMAL!!!

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