I said "Goodbye" to my dad today.....

[melissasmummy]

We are off to Oz soon (have a completion date on the house of 2nd June) so I went up to my dad's to see him, my 3 youngers sisters & their children. We all knew that it was the last time we see each other before I go and I now feel so empty.

I expected it to feel like it was a bigger deal for all of us, but it was like I was just popping in as usual. One of my sisters didn't turn up until 4 (should have been there at 12.30, like the rest of us) & then she just breezed in as if nothing was going on. We left a while later & apart from a moment when my dad saying goddbye to dd, there was no emotion. It all just felt so flat! And its left me feeling empty!

mm ....maybe your sis seemed emotionless as a way of holding back how she felt..?? Maybe she didn't want to let you see her upset for fear of upsetting you..?

TBT she sounds like my sis although I must admit since moving away from home and having dd she's become alot closer to me...

How you feeling now..?
xx

SHHH, thank you for your post. I am feeling better, I had a really good cry with dh in bed last night & it helped.

I don't even know what I expected to happen, or how it should have been different. If was more than likely that they were holding back as they know I am an emtional person & wouldn't have wanted me to be too upset onfront of my DD.

I guess it would have felt strange either way tho, concidering the enormity of the situation.

I can't imagine what it's like moving away from your family BUT it's decision you have made with your "family". It can be hard for people to accept and to deal with when thing like this happen....my mum and dad moved abroard when new parents and mum says she know hows (being a gp) how hard it was on her parents..taking their grandkids away ikwim...

BUT once you are settled etc then thing will get better. It'll allow you holidays over here and I ma sure they would love holidays visitng your family.

Now is a very emotional time for you all and I really wouldn't take people reactions the wrong way. Maybe you could call them to put your mind at ease before you leave.

Like you said, it's hard to know how you should react so think how they must feel. Keep positive though and keep talking to your dh, it sounds as though you have a good supporting dh.

Have you got enough money in the kitty to buy a webcam for your family, and one for yourselves? Then at least you'd be able to 'see' each other.

DH is being great. All of my family & friends are supportive of us doing this. It is DH's family we are going to be with over there. And, yes they will visit & I will visit here too.

I will speak to my dad soon anyway, but I think it just dawned on me before I posted last night what a big deal it was, to be seeing him for the last time. I hadn't wanted, initally to cry infront of DH as he would start thinking I didn't want to go (& possibly quite stupidly) I didn't want to worry him!

I am a fool unto myself sometimes, I always worry what knock-on effect my emotions will have, instead of just letting them flow! Thank you for posting, just talking to somebody who isn't involved with it all has helped me see it differently.

Edam, we have webcams. The day I said we were going my dad went out, brought a computer, webcam etc & had a crash course in using it (he's 63) just to be able to keep in touch.

mm, you are human and you need to relaise that you are entitled to cry and get emotional.

Holding back your feeling won't help you or anyone else..!!!

Glad you are feeling better. xx

Dear mm....people will deal with your departure in different ways...its their way of coping...
We left the uk in sept 2004...and are in Perth western australia...
I love the place and the children have blossomed here...but I have missed my family and friends...thats been the hardest part.
I think if your prepared for that...and go with the flow...tears and panic some days...you will realise its normal...and you will get through....and boy...when you greet your first guests...family or friends at the airport......its just magic.
Hope that helps.
regards Israel

Thank you shhh & israel, it does help.

I guess I must have had a pre-concieved idea of what yesturday should have been like.

Am feeling much better now. Thank you.

good...pleased to hear your feeling better...but just be aware...its a roller coaster of a ride...somedays full of excitement and anticipation...others scared stiff and wondering what the hell your doing.
Its a very stressful time...so much to do...so much to think about...just be gentle with yourself.
Where are you coming...in Oz?

That is already exactly what it feels like. I have had a hell of a day. DH Aunt & Uncle came over & we took dd & the dog for a walk, I feel over into a bush of stinging nettles, so that started me off! Then I had a huge row with dh's aunt, which didn't help! Mind you, dh agrees that she deserved it, but I hate losing my temper. So now I feel so drained, but very restless!

We are going to Adelaide.