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Original poster

Are you a SAHM and how long do you plan to be one?

46 replies

sparkler1 · 04/05/2006 12:38

I've been a SAHM now for 7 years. Loved it and hated it but wouldn't have swapped it for the world. At the moment dd1 is in yr 2 and dd2 is at preschool two and a half days a week.
This morning dds were both at school and I just sat here all morning staring at the TV with housework all around me. I couldn't motivate myself to do anything. I'm actually sick to death of the same thing day in, day out now. Housework, food shopping etc. Seven years of the same thing and I am now starting to feel myself climb the walls.
I do get broody moments and think I'd like to have another baby - maybe that would rid me of the boredom! [grin}
I have filled out an application form to work on the bank in my previous workplace but haven't heart anything back as yet.
Is anyone else in this position? If you want to be a SAHM forever you have my total admiration.

OP posts:
PinkKerPlink · 04/05/2006 12:40

I have been a SAHM for 7 yrs, except i work part time aswell (only weekends) and have to say I am glad my youngest is starting school next year. Of course I will miss him but I want to get back out into the real world....so i have applied for uni........Wink

carla · 04/05/2006 12:42

sparkler, I find myself climbing the walls sometimes too, but find it hard enough getting dds out of the house with me still in my dressing gown. Need to do something about it - but the logistics look depressing.

Original poster
sparkler1 · 04/05/2006 12:43

My youngest will be starting school in September too. Smile It's quite scary thinking about going back to work after all this time.

OP posts:
carla · 04/05/2006 12:43

Meant to say, coming in for 8 years now.

Original poster
sparkler1 · 04/05/2006 12:44

Some of my friends think I'm mad. Financially I don't HAVE to work but the extra money would be useful. My freinds have to work and I feel bad when I moan to them that I'm bored at home. They'd jump at the chance to be in my shoes.

OP posts:
PinkKerPlink · 04/05/2006 12:45

I felt sick when i started my part time job, it really is scarey to begin with but you do get back into.

Twinkie1 · 04/05/2006 12:45

Sprkler - why don;t you retrain or do a course in something whilst the kids are at school - I plan on learning French and Italian when DS is finally out of my hair - will start at night college and then go from there and hopefully it will help me get back on the career ladder when I finally decide to get back on it!!

(DP doesn;t know - he wants me to do the bleeping in Waitrose - not too taxing and I can still care for him and the DK's IHO!!! Angry|)

Original poster
sparkler1 · 04/05/2006 12:45

I find it quite lonely and brain deadening at times being at home.

OP posts:
carla · 04/05/2006 12:46

Mmmmm, sparkler, I think that's the other side of the coin. H thinks I'm a 'lady who lunches', when that couldn't be farther from the truth. Once a week, maybe, but only to save my sanity.

melissasmummy · 04/05/2006 12:46

Have been SAHM for 2.8 now & am loving it. Planning to have another child as soon as we are settled in Oz & will be a SAHM until youngest in full time school.

carla · 04/05/2006 12:47

You only need to look at that 'what makes you dread being at home' thread, or whatever it was called, to see it's not all a bunch of roses.

Original poster
sparkler1 · 04/05/2006 12:49

Twinkie - when I finished work seven years ago I had all these plans. I was going to look after my kids until they were at school age, I was going to go to college and learn something new.

Now I'm at this stage I have no idea what I want to learn or what course to do at college. I have ended up applying to do the same job I was doing before.

It's as though I have completely forgotten about myself and what I want. I have time to myself now with dd2 being at preschool. You long for "me" time when your babies keep you awake at all hours don't you? Now I have it I don't know what to do with it.

Doest that sound silly?

OP posts:
Earlybird · 04/05/2006 13:02

Been at SAHM for just over 5 years - dd's entire life. Gearing up to be a work-from-home mum as I must start earning again - unless I win the lottery, or meet a fab man with deep pockets who thinks I'm his other half! Wink

Original poster
sparkler1 · 04/05/2006 13:04

I was doing kids book parties for a while but stopped those as I wasn't making much money. What am I going to do?

OP posts:
Nbg · 04/05/2006 13:07

Have been a SAHM for coming up 3 years. The plan was for me to do this until dd started school which I will be doing but baby no.2 is due August so it will be another few years before I get back I think.

I never used to enjoy, particularly the early days and all I could think about was going back to work but now I consider myself very lucky that I've been able to do it and I very much enjoy it.

birdsnest · 04/05/2006 13:15

I've been a sahm for nearly 15 years.Seems like two minutes! Plan to carry on being a sahm until the kids go to uni. I dont know what will happen if one of them chooses not to go.

carla · 04/05/2006 14:30

Blimey, birdsnest, you're lucky to get away with that one! H regularly scours the local paper for publishing-related jobs! Ha, nothing in Rights, thought Grin

carla · 04/05/2006 14:30

Though, even. You can see why I messed up in the editorial department!

beckybrastraps · 04/05/2006 14:53

My children are 4 and 2, and I have not worked for 2 years. I'm doing an OU degree to tide me over until dd is well-settled into school. It took a bit of doing to enrol, but mow that I have I would REALLY recommend it to anyone who is looking for something to keep themselves ticking over. With any luck it will also be a bonus when I do (eventually) return to work.

2shoes · 04/05/2006 17:13

i have been a sahm for 14 yrs (apart from one weekend job before dd was born) intend to carry on for ever. dd has cp so trying to get a job doesn't work as no childcare cover for holidays/sickness

PinkKerPlink · 04/05/2006 17:17

IMO you really need to something for yourself now sparkler

I was contemplating going back into admin and tbh my head would explode. this could be time for you. You have already said you dont need the money. Why dont you go to your local college and see what they offer>

Original poster
sparkler1 · 04/05/2006 21:36

You're right I should. But what? Smile I think I've forgotten how to do things for myself. IYKWIM Smile

OP posts:
WestCountryLass · 04/05/2006 22:11

I have been a SAHM since I had DS 4.5 years ago. I can't imagine doing anything else whislt they are small but once they are at school full time I will get a job, hopefully a school hours/term time one!!!!!

I can't imagine SAH when the kids aren't there, it would be so quiet and boring!

all4girlz · 04/05/2006 23:10

I am a sahm since dd4 was born --who is /was one today.
I am not going back to work until she starts full time school and then hopefully onlypart time .
I like work and have had a couple of interesting jobs through agencies just before I had dd4 -I went back to work after dd2 until I had dd3 stayed at home until she was 18m but found work and a young family do not mix it was not fiancially viable too much child care costs always tired (but then I was pregnant again) wished I had sah from dd2 birth I keep my brain aive by going on diferent community courses currently AIM HIGH all about gaining confidence and stuff and a kiddie book making course too through the library both have creches and are 2x 2 hrs a week when I am me iykwim.

Hallgerda · 05/05/2006 09:25

I've been a SAHM now for nearly 9 years since shortly before DS2 was born. I didn't really want to be one, but the cost of decent quality childcare (I'd tried the other kind...Sad) for two children meant that my earnings from a full-time, fairly stressful job would have been around £200 a month. I now have three of school age, do not want to work in a school (hated school for 13 years...), weekend work would mean hardly ever seeing DH so I can't do that, and so I think I have no real prospect of returning to work until all my children are at secondary school (that's over four years off, and even then holidays will be awkward).

It's not all doom, gloom and despondency though. I have been better able to help my children to do well at school as a result of being a SAHM. I've saved myself from staring at the TV by the simple expedient of not having one. I do some voluntary work at a nature reserve (which I started as soon as all three children were in full-time education) and am slowly working through an environmental studies degree course with the eventual aim of a career change (and if it doesn't work out, at least I can convince the world I've done something to keep my brain active!).