Want another Baby But not sure if I will cope..........??

[Dreams]

Hi this probably sounds really bad compared to all those out there with about 3+ kids but i only have one who is now 16 months and i really really want another one......But something seems to be stopping me all the time ! I am always thinking about it and wake up dreaming about it.... I think it also concerns me that if i have another baby my attention will go of my first as a new baby takes alot of attention does anyone have any advice for me who has more than one baby both under the age of 3 ? how hard is it? recommended? and does the attention turn I really don't want my first son to feel left out as he is the light of my life !

It works as a trade-off situation; yes Baby_1 gets less attention from you, but down the line they play together and get a lot of attention from each other.

There are good threads on MNet about juggling 2... maybe if you scan down the parenting board?

My 2 (age 2 & 4) are scampering around the house screaming, laughing and hiding from each other, just now -- how else would I be able to cut the veggies up, feed the guinea pigs & get on MNet in peace?

i want another my dd is 2 and what worries me is that i wont love it as much as our dd i no it sounds stupid, of course the new baby will get more attention bit they will have such fun together

This was a major concern of mine actually when I was pregnant with dd, I just couldn't see how I could possibly share my love, I thought I wouldn't love dd as much...this must be normal I think....When dd was born the love was just the same....got really weepy just looking at her from day one...

Yes there were days when I was breastfeeding Helen and Connor needed lunch and playing with and sometimes I felt so helpless, or rather hopeless...because I couldn't do the 2 at once....and times when Helen would wake from her nap and be crying and I would not go up straight away as I had jobs to do and Connor (still feel a little awful about that) to look after...however I do think instinct is a good thing to follow...Personally I am from a large family and couldn't imagine ever having just one child (always imagined at least a couple of children from an early age) so I guess whatever was thrown at me I instinctively just kept on going even when it was really tough and I felt useless!

The final thing I'll say is if it feels right then 2 is a miracle, there are plenty of parents who cannot have children...ours are squabbling a lot but are lost if the other is away for a long time...wouldn't be without them and they are the best thing that I have ever done if it feels right then you will be able to manage...and if your days do get hard support is always at hand, mums and tots, friends and of course the ever friendly mumsnet (a bit gushy but just the way it is

Thanks for all your advice peeps i can understand all that your saying..... I know my little man would love a play mate as he loves it when his friends come round to play. I think he feels quite sad when there gone!

I believe it would be hard with a new born and about a 2 1/2 year old its the lack of sleep that gets to me! I suffer with my sleeping anyway just cant keep my eyes open and will try and catch sleep whenever i can!having tests as we speak!

That was also another one of my worries and my sister has always said the same will i love the 2nd baby as much as i love my first! I believe i would i think you just have to learn to share your love between them and any child is going to be as special as the other!

I don't really have anyone who has my son i am mostly with him 24 hrs a day 7 days a week apart from 6 hrs .... 3 on a tues and 3 on a wed when i do some work for my mum and she has him. My mum would have him more but she is always working! My sister has not got the first clue about looking after kids and she is scared she will not be able to cope with it.....my other halfs family all live up North and my friens all have there own kids to deal with so its mainly me looking after him. Which can be hard at times as i believe we all need a break!

Some people have these breaks and i really envy them if only i could too!
I went to tescos today and i know it sounds awful but i mean it in a good way ..... my other half had our little boy while i went shopping and it was so lovely to be able to just jump out my car and get on with it!!!

I would not be without my son though my life would be so dull without him in it .... hes the most important part of me and without him i would be lost!

I have an 11 month old and a nearly 3 year old. Yes, there are times when it is really hard and you don't know which one to turn to first but the advantages of two definately outweigh these times in my opinion. One time really sticks in my mind, the little one was about 5 months old- just sitting up- the two of them were in the bath together splashing and laughing together and totally absorbed in each other. It made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up, it was so lovely to see their relationship developing so successfully.
On the days that it was really difficult i just reminded my self about these 'special times' and that babyhood doesn't last for long. Hopefully my two boys will be lifelong friends.

I too had these worries. I now have dd (25 months) & ds (20 weeks). I would echo everybody else's experiences here. I have been truly touched by the way dd has reacted to her baby brother, she is so loving and protective of him. Yes I found the first few weeks really hard and the routine I had with dd was shattered but now things are getting back on an even keel.

I think I've been lucky but dd does not seem to have felt left out at all, just totally absorbed in him.

I've got 3 - almost 4, almost 2 and 7 weeks, and the 2 older ones are fab together, off playing and having loads of fun. I didn't know how I would feel about appotrioning feelings between them, but the love just seems to scome out of nowhere, and I have 3 children I love dearly.

I really couldnt get my head round loving another baby the way I did DD - it really makes me laugh now as I love DS soooooooooooooo much - its true what they say that they dont have to share love they bring their own lot of love with them

Becca
xxx

Thought I would add my bit, not as a mum of more than one child (only have 1 DD - 16 months), but as one of five children.

I have 2 brothers and 2 sisters and I never felt less love because there were so many of us. In fact, it was fab. Always someone to play with / fight with. Granted, mum couldn't spend 24 hours a day with just me, but I think that has made me more independant

I have just had my second baby, my little girl is 3.5 yo. My advice is to wait until your first is nursery age because you are going to rely very heavily on that nursery! For me it is hard as she obviously wants my attention too, wants me to play with her, take her to the library, etc and I also have to cope with sleepless nights, exploding bottoms, breastfeeding, etc. But at least I know that she goes to nursery every morning, so that if I'm very tired, I can stick a video on for her to watch when she gets back and I don't feel too guilty as I know she's been stimulated in the mornings. I cannot imagine how hard it must be having 2 babies.

But then people do cope and I'm sure you will. However if there is something stopping you, then I would hold out until I feel a little more certain. Go with your instincts, we don't have 'em for nothing!