Please tell me how I can get through the day without totally losing it with my dd2

[emkana]

I am at the end of my tether today, I feel cross with dd2 for not settling at playgroup (have just taken her out), I desperately need a break from her as she never does as she's told and is just really hard work atm, but I feel I am causing damage to her by not being able to conceal my feelings of exasperation and, dare I say it, even dislike at times. We have to stay at home all morning as well, anybody got any good ideas how I can get through the day without totally losing it? Have already told her once to just leave me alone
Am being terrible mother atm.

You are not a terrible mother - if you were terrible you wouldn't be torturing yourself about feeling exasperated with her. Cut yourself a wee bit of slack - you've got a lot on just now, and a lot of worries. It may be that she's not settling because she's picking up on tensions within the house - it's probably just a temporary thing.

Maybe you could bribe her that if she plays quietly on her own for half an hour you'll do something special with her (maybe bake a cake, go to the swing park after lunch?).

Stick in there - she'll get better.

How about just putting her in front of a fav video/TV this morning to give you some time - you go and have a coffee/read a magazine etc while she watches. Who cares if it is all morning,at least you get chance to recover your energy.

Or give her a load of pegs to sort out into different colours / or pots and pans from kitchen cupboard to sort out into different sizes.

I had to do some work the other day and DS wouldn't leave me alone so I got all the pegs and a load of coathangers and told him to hang them all on the clothes horse in different colours and sizes - 20 mins later he was still happy doing it.

Hope this can help a little.

i think tis understandable
sit here any chance of gettin out?

i always reckon a huge bath is agood idea

Fresh air and a walk to the park always works for us. It takes you both out of the stress zone (home) and the exercise will help you, and DD can burn off some energy and be distracted from winding you up by feeding the ducks, playing on the swings etc.

You have my sympathies - DD (almost 4) is a PITA at the moment too.

What a about a different playgroup can make a really big difference may be worth looking at a couple ds1 and dd2 went to a lovely one in gloucester and dd3 will be starting there in Sept.
Don't be so hard on yourself emkana with all you are going through atm its amazing your getting through the day at all.

for me the thing that makes everything so exasperating is taking it all personally. I get cross because I expect respect and consideration and when I don't get it I - basically - feel offended. The only thing that stops it is telling myself over and over again, that this is entirely normal behaviour, that it has nothing to do with either my dds not liking or respecting me nor any purported failings I think I have as a mum. It's a conscious mind trick which allows at least some of the "bad" behaviour wash over me - and it's an upward spiral - the less you care and get wound up the less they play up.