oh my bloody f****** god[sad]

[alexsmum]

my mate has just phoned me to tell me she has breast cancer.
she's 33.
she has to have a mastectomy and chemo.
she 's a single parent .
what in gods name is she going to do?
am so shocked.feel useless.there's nothing i can do and i wish there was.

Blimey how awful . Is her ex around?

alexsmum thats awful thinking of you and your friend xx

her ex is a waste of space who is only allowed to see his daughter in her own home.(violent alky)

. Friend had chemo last year , but think it was earlier stage. Are you close enough to be able to drive her to appointments or take her kids, to/from school or for tea ?

That's awful, alexsmum. But there are things you can do - call her regularly to see how she is, listen to her, if you live locally maybe give her a hand now and then.

have volunteered to have her daughter whenever and wherever and basically to do anything that needs doing.
but it just seems crap.
i'm really shocked actually.

there is EVERY chance she will beat this. for now, this is the focus. getting rid of the cancer.

have volunteered to have her daughter whenever and wherever and basically to do anything that needs doing.
but it just seems crap.
i'm really shocked actually.

that's very sad.

but you can do things: you can be there for her. you can talk to her (and not avoid the subject). can you also help practically?

It is really crap...Life is like that, so sad. Your friend has a good chance of recovery.

does anyone know if there are any extra benefits she could claim while she is ill? she is on income support.

Oh no that's so sad.

Can I recommend the charities cancer bacup, breakthrough breast cancer and Macmillan Cancer Relief has a great website \link{http://www.macmillan.org.uk/home.aspx\here} (they just changed their name to macmillan cancer support but they were relief when I worked for them) the info line can give you info, access to support plus signpost to facilities in your area.

They can also offer grants to people on low incomes affected byc ancer so sounds like your mate would be a candidate, for anything from petrol to a break with the kids if that helps. I never knew them refuse an application, and I remember them doing wedding dresses, clothes and all sorts. HTH

As well as the grants, macmillan can tell you about benefits

but deffo go for one of their grants too

I worked hard for them, nice when people benefit back

i might mention it to her.
keep thinking that if it happened to me (god forbid) at least i'd have dh here to pick up the pieces, she hasn't got that.she's had a shit year and now this.

my friend was able to get DLA when she had it, I think there is a special part for things like that, so sorry to hear about your friend.

Oh poor thing. Will be tough on her own. Very shocking for you to think about.

But don't panic.

My SIL had mastectomy, chemo and radio nearly 5 years ago - very agressive treatment, as she was about the same age as your friend, and 2 young kids.

The chemo was challenging - but not as bad as she had feared. She had chemo every two weeks, felt all fluey and poorly for two-three days each time, but went to work the rest of the time (felt ok, and needed her life to remain as normal as poss to keep her mind occupied, I think).

Has she any family nearby, or who could come for when she is recovering from surgery?

There's lots you CAN do - you can get friends galvanised into a schedule of practical help, get people to call her, visit, send cards at well spaced intervals and keep her spirits up, I know my SILs best friend transformed the experience of losing her hair, by going with her to a wig fitting and making it hilarious. Take her good nourishing meals when she is feeling crap, to build her up.

Very hard news, but breast cancer is mostly considered treatable these days, Alexsmum.

Do you know what her consultant has said to her?