Dd's teacher told the mother of the child that I had rung in and complained about her dd.

[lucy5]

Don't think it's on really, I just wanted the issue of this childs heavy handedness addressed. I don't think the teacher should have told her that I'd phoned. Dd wasn't the only child being bashed and it put me in a very awkward situation.

god that is awful, i wrote a letter to my dd1s teacher about another girl in her class picking on her and she assured me that i wouldn't be mentioned. i didnt think it was allowed? i'd talk to the head. hope your dd is ok.

Thanks dd is fine and the matter has been sorted out as this little girl wasbeing rough with everyone. She has been talked to and is being monitored. I just think that it is awful, that my name was brought into it. i tried to reassure the other mother but I just felt like a bitch.

no need for you to feel a bitch-you were just looking out for your dd after all. chin up love, you've nothing to feel bad about.

Thanks Merry

you are welcome

ive been in this kind of place before..except it was my sn!
the teacher told the parent who complianed where to find me...god was i scared..then i told the other parent of ds2's problems and she just huffed at me..

So sorry you have been on the other end. I honestly didnt want to cause trouble, I just wanted it brought to the teachers attention, so she could keep an eye of it. My dd was coming home bruised and having her things broken. She also told me this little girl had tried to throttle her. I was very diplomatic and called it boisterousness [sp] and perhaps it was because she had brothers. Had I known that the teacher was going to tell the mother, I would have spoken to her myself. i feel like I have been made to look devious.

i an understand how you feel, but a lot of these problems arent helped by the way teachers deal with them. i think if i had been approached directly aswell ( as happens in the new school ds's are at) it would have been far less scary!
maybe the mum on the other end needed a kick up the backside though???!!!

I've been on the receiving end when one of dd's friends mother (they're 12) complained to the school about dd 'being nasty'. I'm sure she was sometimes, but the other girl isn't perfect - although her mother thinks she is.

It would be far better if these situations could be dealt with on a low key basis between parents, although I know that's not always possible.

Thanks for your replie, I don't think i've expressed myself very well here, perhaps using the word complain didnt help. I didnt want to make an issue with the mother who I get on well with, as an aquaintance or the teacher. I just asked her to keep an eye on things as i was worried that dd was getting hurt and hadn't fully been able to get to the bottom of whether it was bullying or heavy handedness. I just asked the teacher to keep an eye on the situation. If I had wanted to speak to the mother I would have done and don't think it is down to the teacher to go telling tales. I know my child isn't perfect but she is not physical. I , too am a teacher and would never have dealt with this situation in this manner.

surely the teacher should have said 'another parent' - not named you, thats not on

To be fair, the teacher named the parent who had been in to me. She also made it clear that she thought it was absolutely not a problem - just normal girls stuff - sort of implied that she thought the other mother would have known better!