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Original poster

Grrrr

25 replies

jampots · 16/04/2006 13:04

When my mum was alive she liked us all to get together on Easter Sunday for dinner so since she has died I have endeavoured to keep this going. We used to go out for dinner but eventually we all congregated in my house for dinner which I footed the bill for (as usual). Anyway I decided this year I wasnt going to organise the family meal and when my sister asked why I told her the reason so she invited us to their house. We are supposed to be leaving in half an hour. Dh now says he's not going! No reason he just doesnt want to and yes he is in a mood

OP posts:

suzywong · 16/04/2006 13:07

Point him in the direction of the ironing and tell him to have it sorted by the time you get back.

How very, very, very tedious for you.

niceglasses · 16/04/2006 13:07

OOO I wouldn't be happy with that. would probably go without him. Norty. Does he not get on with them?

lucy5 · 16/04/2006 13:07

Oh dear! Go without him and make an excuse like he's got piles

anorak · 16/04/2006 13:08

That sounds very childish jampots. Can you not go without him and leave him behind wondering what fun he is missing? Or are you supposed to beg and plead till he grudgingly gives in as a favour?

Original poster

jampots · 16/04/2006 13:08

yes he's a real cnut

OP posts:

lucy5 · 16/04/2006 13:08

You know there is football on!

Original poster

jampots · 16/04/2006 13:09

generally he's a knob. At xmas my other sister invited us to hers for dinner and he wouldnt go there either. He causes problems every birthday/anniversary/any occasion

OP posts:

suzywong · 16/04/2006 13:09

I'm liking the piles excuse very much

Just tell him he's an arse and go and enjoy yourselves without him. Arse

nutcracker · 16/04/2006 13:09

He does this alot doesn't he ?

hunkermunker · 16/04/2006 13:09

Go without him. He's done this before, hasn't he?

anorak · 16/04/2006 13:11

I think if it was a regular thing I'd start excluding him from my plans. Take away his power to disappoint you and sabotage your plans.

Original poster

jampots · 16/04/2006 13:12

yes he has - was just looking for the thread but cant find it - think it was boxing day

we're supposed to be taking the children to Bristol on Tuesday for a day out (was originally going to be last half term) then he said he was working on tuesday and now he's not but said he's still not going. So we said we're going to Cheshire Oaks because he wants to go there.

OP posts:

hunkermunker · 16/04/2006 13:13

Yes, tell him he can't come.

Original poster

jampots · 16/04/2006 18:37

well the children and I went, had a lovely time and we're now back - dh is in bed and it really doesnt look like he's done anythign worthwhile with his valuable time.

BIL said an interesting thing. In his (manly) opinion, dh fucks up only family occasions and therefore he thinks dh feels as though he doesnt "belong" anywhere which is possibly due to his upbringing. Conseqiently, I am thinking of calling the ILs and telling them their son is on the verge of a nervous breakdown and they should come and take some responsibility for him.

OP posts:

NotAnOtter · 16/04/2006 18:38

and do you think he is poorly jam?

ItalianJob · 16/04/2006 18:40

Is it only family occasions, or does he behave like this at other social occasions?

Original poster

jampots · 16/04/2006 18:44

well he pulls a face at most social occasions but really fucks up family ones esp birthdays. Last year for my birthday we had a bbq and he said he had to go out about 2 hours before it was due to start and didnt get back until an hour after it had started. That sort of thing.

So am thinking for his 40th in a couple of months Im going to throw him the biggest bbq with all his friends (old and current) and then fuck off out

OP posts:

Original poster

jampots · 16/04/2006 18:44

and yes I do think he is slightly derranged - although possibly not on verge of NB

OP posts:

nursetigger6 · 16/04/2006 19:02

I have the same problem with my dp. Whenever my family have a "do" arranged he has a tantrum saying "oh well you never told me we were going out" when ahd told him days previously, when we get there he makes it so obvious he wants to leave it is shameful. He is such an embarrasment. If it is anything to do with his family, he wont leave until the last minute. My family aren't that bad. As far as I am concerned, if it weren't for my middle sister, we would have a good laugh, playing board games etc. I have just been pushed out of my parents place and I am so ashamed of his behavoir, I left more out of embarassement than need.

NotAnOtter · 16/04/2006 19:04

maybe he does have some sort of social phobia - have you asked him outright?
Rather than him keep ruining things for you and dc's he might me more open and sort his problem out?

cod · 16/04/2006 19:05

go up and do a " ai m a sulky wulky woo " dnace

he'll soon lol

Toothyboy · 16/04/2006 19:05

My dp often misses events as well. He just doesn't 'get' how sometimes you have to show willing and attend family occasions etc. He honestly thinks that if he just doesn't feel like it (ie can't be arsed/hung over) then he doesn't have to go. I just try to ignore it and go by myself.

I refuse to beg him to go with me!

Original poster

jampots · 16/04/2006 19:06

he doesnt have a sense of humour cod - am just igoring him. will call his parents and see how much cash they'll send
:)

always makes me feel better

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jamese · 17/04/2006 10:04

My friends DH is very similar. and she gets soo embarrasedd. But I keep telling her that she shouldn't be embarrassed, it is not a slant on her. People won't look at her and think how antisocial she is etc. they just think how much a prat her hubby is. so no need to be embarrassed, we can't be held responsible for our hubby behavour, they are grown adults...

It took me a long time to believe the above when my DH insisted on wearing naff cloths which I thought made me look uncool!!!! as I was with him...

Freckle · 17/04/2006 10:12

My BIL was like this. Let my sister down on every family occasion. His family is weird and very anti-social (if any of my sister's family visited and his parents were there, they would get up and leave without saying anything). Needless to say my sister is now divorced and he is a loser who is in the processing of f*cking up his relationship with his son (has already done that with his daughter).

Agree that you should take away his power to upset you. Make your plans and just don't include him. If he objects, just point out that he always backs out of things so there's no point in including him in the first place.

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