Grandparents and television

[emkaren]

I try to limit dd1's (2.7) television viewing to about an hour a day, and most days that works quite well. Two afternoons a week, and sometimes for a few hours at the weekend, she goes to her Grandparents. There she is allowed to watch all the time - only 'age-appropriate' stuff, but a lot of it! I find that slightly annoying, but am not sure if and what to do about it - would you say that as it's her Grandparents it's their right to 'spoil' her in that way, or would you say something? And if so, how would you say it - the last thing I want to do is offend them, as they're absolutely brilliant with dd1 (they do play with her as well, just with the telly in the background), and very good in-laws too.
Any views?

I think if you only find it "slightly" annoying, and they are playing with her as well, not just plonking her in front of it, you just have to bite your tongue on this one and allow them grandparents perogative. Anything else may get misconstrued and that sounds like the last thing you want...

I've not been in this situation as all our grandparents live hundreds of miles away, but I think if your dd is spending so much time there, then you have to be prepared to specify how you want certain things done, if it's important to you.

But as PPH said, if it's really not that important to you then let it lie, as it could cause difficulties where things currently run smoothly.

I guess what I really want to know (but was afraid to ask) is: Do you think three hours twice a week and one hour all other days is too much for a child this age too watch? Read another scaremongering article again today, about how television stands in the way of academic achievement... God, I should REALLY stop worrying. How much do your children watch?

Personally I think it is too much - but then I'm a real TV Nazi. My kids are 4.5 and 6.5. They have never watched more than 5 hrs per week.

Currently 4 yr old watches none. 6.5 yr old watches between 2 and 4 hrs a week - Blue Peter, Newsround, plus the occasional video.

But that's not to say that's right for you. Plenty of people on here have the TV on all the time. You have to decide what is important for you, decide on your values, your rules, and stick to them.

Sorry - that sounds harsher than I meant to. I really dislike 'background TV', but it really is just a personal thing. You have to make your own lifestyle choices.

Do your PIL always have the television on in the background themselves? My parents always have it on, and when we went to stay with them as a concession to our ds the television got turned.........over to Cbeebies. However in our house when they stay the TV stays off. I think that what you do depends on whether they are deliberately turning the TV on as a "treat" or whether they just have it on as part of everyday life.

My personal opinion is that what happens in the home is the most important thing as far as educational attainment, and that a slightly different way of doing things at the Grands won't matter at all.

TBH I would probably leave it as it is. Youa re obviously happy with grandparents looking afte your DD and they are doing things with her. They sound like they are not just watching the Tv the whole time. Lots of people have a TV or radio on for background noise and I doubt that amount will matter that much. My 21 month old DD watches children's TV on and off during the day but it has not hampered her development at all, and we do so many other things anyway. All in moderation...

My boys are 5.5 and 2.5. They watch an hour in the morning if up very early and they watch a video or DVD for about 45 mins to an hour when I am cooking their supper. Occasionally at the weekend they may watch a film during a wet afternoon. Saying that there are loads of days when they don't watch any, especially when the weather is good as they are out in the garden most of the time.

I agree about the grandparents thing. If it isn't bothering you too much then it may be best not to stir things up. They may take it the wrong way and you don't want to upset them. You could say something like "I can't wait till the weather is better and "we" don't have to watch so much television".
They may take the hint !

My dd goes to my mams one afternoon a week and the way i see it, she can get spoilt rotten (within reason) for that afternoon and he KNOWS it's because she's at nana's house. My nana spoilt me, it's a perk of being Grandparents i think, just the good stuff.
My dd watches about an hour of T.V in the morning and probably another hour in the evening when i'm cooking. Unless daddy comes home early then she just plays. I don't worry about it as she does SO much other stuff that she likes to "chill" sometimes. I think the worry would be if she didn't want to go to the beach/library ect because of T.V

Although i personally try to limit the tv dd watches, I have to say that I went to my nana and grandad's a couple of times a week for the first 16 years of my life, got away with more there than at home and still seem to have grown up OK...hopefully. I agree with Angeliz, I knew that the boundaries were slightly different when I was there; I also treasure the memories I have of the good times we shared.

My in-laws do the telly in the back ground thing, which does annoy me but, if yours are as great as you say then I would go with the flow, they sound like wonderful grandparents!

Blimey!

I wish my dd's grandparents lived close enough to have her for a few hours at the weekend ... (rather than 270 miles away). The last thing on my mind would be whether she was watching a little too much tv there - I would be too ecstatic at the prospect of some personal space for a few hours each week (but that's me - all self self self!). Sorry that's sounds unhelpful - but I guess what I am trying to say is keep things in perspective.

Incidentally re the Guardian article - I'm cynical. I watched a fair amount of tv as a child but I am now educated to masters degree level. Same goes for a number of my friends and acquantainces.