surrogacy views

[snowqueen]

My partners work partner has decided to carry a baby for her friend. Does anyone know anyone whos been a surrogate?

I was wondering how the woman felt afterwards and also wondered about the legal side of things. This woman wants to keep the whole thing as quiet as possible but am i right in thinking that any health professional who is aware of a surrogacy arrangement has to inform social services or the courts to ensure the childs best interests are met

My cousin and his wife had a baby with a surrogate mother in the U.S. (their sperm and egg). I think that in the U.S. if the baby is not biologically related to the surrogate there aren't many legal issues as to the child. It's more to do with payment. They should make sure that they have worked out what happens in the worst case scenarios and what happens with breast feeding. My cousin's baby was born 2 months prematurely and both the baby and the surrogate spent some time in hospital. The surrogate pumped breast milk for an extra fee (arranged in advance) for several months as the doctors had highly recommended it for the premature baby, but my cousin was repsonsible for picking up the breast milk (1.5 hour drive).
Why on earth would social services care about a surrogacy arrangement. Aren't there enough troubled children out there without worrying about a clearly wanted one.

I would imagine social services get involved because technically in the UK it's a private adoption; surrogacy agreements don't seem to be recognised in English or Scottish law? At least, that's what the COTS website implies. Also, info and contacts with Surrogacy UK talk about the adoption process, and Here is a discussion board devoted to the topic -- sheesh! I never would have guessed there was so much UK interest in it. I admire anybody who could be a surrogate. I couldn't do it.

OH, and you certainly aren't legally allowed to pay surrogates in the UK, except for 'reasonable expenses'!

I felt fabulous all the way through my pregnancy and now I've stopped bf'ing so my hormones are swinging up and down again and I feel crap at least 1/4 of the time - the thought of setting up my own little baby farm business and being permanently pregnant is quite appealing. If they'd just improve the extraction process...

Seriously, I guess I would consider it for a relative or close friend who was desperate. Don't know how I'd feel on day 3 when my milk came in and the hormones crashed and I didn't have a baby to hold though. Probably cuddle dd a lot and plan our next one...

Absolutely now way whatsover could I be a surrogate. The thought of 9 months of feeling a baby growing inside you to then have to give it away, makes me shiver.

No way.

If it was their egg and sperm I would gladly be a surrogate mother.
I see it as I would be babysitting for 9 months.

Could imagine it, but would have to be paid A LOT!!! Comes under the 'what would you do for a million quid' heading in my book. Shame its illegal to be paid really - probably for exactly this reason, that not being paid puts people off!

I disagree Miranda. I wouldn't do it for the money, but I would consider it for a close friend or relative. But for a million quid I would shag Robert Redford!

I had a baby adopted at birth when I was a teenager, and though it is different from surrogacy I did know throughout the pregnancy that I was going to give the baby up, so there are similarities.

If you haven't done this, I don't think you can even begin to imagine how difficult it is. And I did it before having children of my own, I think doing it again now would be even more painful. I simply could not contemplate doing this, or encouraging anyone else to do it.

There was a programme on tv in 2002 or 2001 about surrogacy. One of the women featured in it has two girls of her own and was featured having a baby for a couple, this was the 5th or 6th time she'd done it. It was her egg that was used though as the woman of the couple had suffered cancer and was sterile. So the surrogate lady used her own egg and the husbands sperm. I remember seeing something in a newspaper about her just recently saying that she was having her 7th or 8th baby for another couple. She did get paid for this but I think the maximum they could pay her( in the programme anyway) was £10,000 And that was for expenses only, I think. It was a while ago but a very interesting programme.

There were other women featured one was wanting to be a surrogate but didn't get on with the couple that chose her, so that didn't work out. And there was another woman who had also been a surrogate 2 or 3 times before. I'm sure it was a weekly programme.