Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Other subjects
Original poster

honest opinion please on this wording

31 replies

Dottydot · 11/04/2006 19:53

OK, so I'm nervous about sending out our 'wedding' invites, and it's partly because we're asking people to pay for their lunch at Pizza Express afterwards - because we can't afford to pay for everyone... So, we're including some details in with the invite which includes maps and stuff, and saying there's the civil ceremony in the morning, then lunch, then the evening do at my Mum's. What do you think of this wording:

"No presents please, but we are asking people to pay for their lunch at Pizza Express. Wine will be provided, so costs should be between £10 - £20 per person and the waiters would be very grateful if you could bring cash!"

Bearing in mind we're only inviting close friends and immediate family, do you think this is OK? There's another bit about there being food and drink provided in the evening aswell.

I'm sooooooooooooo worried about this!!! Dp thinks I'm barking mad but I suppose I just really (really) wish we could just pay for it. But we can't, so this is what we came up with.

What would you think?

OP posts:
compo · 11/04/2006 19:56

I think the wording of that is absolutely fine. If I received an invitation like that i would be more than happy Smile

Dior · 11/04/2006 19:57

I think that people will be honoured to share your special day...relax, there is enough stress in arranging a wedding!

Twiglett · 11/04/2006 19:58

I'd be totally fine about it .. and totally understand .. as will your friends .. so quit worrying

Original poster
Dottydot · 11/04/2006 19:59

Really??? Honest? means a lot - I know it's really silly but it's got me really emotional..! (and I can't even blame it on PMT). I hate admitting we're 'poor' - not on the breadline poor or anything, so I know we're incredibly lucky in that respect, but there's just no spare money around...

OP posts:
serenity · 11/04/2006 20:00

They'll understand, and it sounds fine.

We did the same thing, and I was convinced no one would come (I had to ask them for a deposit as well Blush ) but we ended up with 54 people eating off the Christmas menu of the local Harvesters (not exactly gourmet). We figured that only the people who really cared about us would come, and frankly they would be the only ones we wanted there. Dh is Cypriot and we'd both had our fill of 'invite the milkman' weddings, not that we could afford one anyway Grin

It'll be fab!

Angeliz · 11/04/2006 20:00

I think it's fine too.
People will probably be relieved at an honest Invite and not a list of wanted household itemsSmile

(I bet you get pressies too)+

BagelBird · 11/04/2006 20:01

sounds great to me too. I love pizza express and think it is a great idea. So many receptions involve one set option, served up on mass so have factory production line style stewed cold veg etc etc and end up costing £30 per head. Your idea sounds much more fun and very reasonable.
A lot of weddings with the old fashioned set menu sit down in hotel function room option have a bar attached and people end up spending £10-20 on extra drinks before and after so cost is easily comparable.
Have a lovely time and stop worrying!

Original poster
Dottydot · 11/04/2006 20:02

OK - crying now! I've been soooooo stressed about it - and 2 days ago dp's parents offered to pay for the meal, but dp said no - quite rightly - 'cos they'd helped us with our house deposit a couple of years ago and they're both retired now, so it wouldn't have been right (although I was so relieved when they offered and then have been really sad ever since dp said no - she's so moral!!)

Thanks all - you've given me the confidence to get off the computer and start putting invites in envelopes!!!! Smile

OP posts:
LucyJones · 11/04/2006 20:02

I too think it sounds great and would be very happy with the free wine on offer!!

compo · 11/04/2006 20:04

I would have taken dp's parents up on their offer Smile - my friend is getting married and is pretty skint so instead of presents she's asking close family to help out with flowers/photos etc which they are fine with cos they already have a house so don't need big things like frdge, freezer etc, all the gubbins you get on wedding lists

Original poster
Dottydot · 11/04/2006 20:04

Yes - I made sure we'd saved up enough to have sparkly wine when people arrived - the fab Pizza Express are setting up a reception table for us! - and then wine on every table - getting my priorities right!!

Then we're going to have a chinese buffet in the evening with more booze!

OP posts:
Gillian76 · 11/04/2006 20:05

I would be fine with that and probably get you a present too!

Hope you have a fabulous day :)

fullmoonfiend · 11/04/2006 20:05

I think it's perfectly well worded and I also think you'll find you start a trend :)
Best wishes, I love a good wedding, me!

amber5 · 11/04/2006 20:11

I'm with everyone else. Sounds fine to me. Close friends and family will understand your situation. Most people spend at least what you're suggesting on a present anyway, so what's the difference?
I read a thread a few days ago from someone who had received an invite from a friend with a crappy poem asking for money as a present - it got loads of criticism. I think your situation is different and the wording is sensitive but 'to-the-point'. Stop worrying and enjoy your special day. xxx

motherinferior · 11/04/2006 20:14

Hey, you, stop crying Grin! Dot, it's lovely. It's straightforward, it's not asking for people to pay that much, really it's not, and anyway you're paying for the booze.

Now you go and concentrate on a fabulous frock, please, we want to know all about it.

harpsichordcarrier · 11/04/2006 20:17

it sounds a delightful idea and I can't imagine that any person would be anything but delighted to be invited Smile
can I come Grin

Original poster
Dottydot · 11/04/2006 20:20

ooh - I'd love you all too!!! Grin Definitely can't buy a frock at the moment - I think I've been in a bit of a rebellion-mode with it all recently and have put on a ridiculous amount of weight... Will have to go on an insane diet to shift some of it and then panic buy the week before the do.

Excellent. Glad I've got that planned so well...

OP posts:
Original poster
Dottydot · 11/04/2006 20:21

oops - I'd love you all to !

OP posts:
Twiglett · 12/04/2006 08:24

I have just thought of something that might make you feel much better ... at our wedding, if our friends wanted to come, they had to pay to fly out to florence and stay there ....

we also felt it would be a sign of people really wanting to come .. and if they couldn't then it didn't mean anything

greengirl13 · 12/04/2006 09:07

I know a couple who went to a wedding and during the best mans speech they were all asked to contribute to the meal and chip in £15 each! At least telling everyone before hand will let them bring enough pennies for the day. Nothing wrong with this at all. We are going to a wedding nexy tear where they are getting married in the evening and just going straight into a reception and buffet to save money and we can't wait!

Just remember its your day and enjoy it!

marthamoo · 12/04/2006 09:17

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

tigeryuan · 12/04/2006 09:40

its fine. i think they're more than happy to do so!
we did the same, no wedding gifts etc, we actually attached a 'Red pocket' (small envlope) to all invitation card to ask for money to sponsor our honeymoon!! that was great! Smile

milward · 12/04/2006 09:46

hope you have a lovely day - your invite is fine & everyone will have a super time xxx I think also that you'll get pressies.

milward · 12/04/2006 09:47

we asked for money as our wedding present - & had a fab honeymoon - everyone was happy to have contributed to this - a wonderful gift & we thanked everyone.

madamechocolat · 12/04/2006 10:26

Dotty dot - sounds lovely - I would be heartened to receive an invite like that too. So when is the big day?