A sharing toys in the playground rant - why do other parents assume the worst of older children?

[foxinsocks]

Not a major rant but an observation really. As the weather has started cheering up, we've been in the playground a lot recently. We're lucky enough to have a giant sandpit - yesterday dd and ds were there with their mates (so mainly around six 4-6 yr olds).

A little huddle of I'd say 2 yr olds were there with their mums. They had bought LOADS of sandpit toys - diggers, spades, buckets etc. and when they ran off, one of mine picked up one of their rakes and started to rake the sand. Then one of dd's friend started using the spade. They didn't run away with it, they didn't snatch - they used it right in front of the mums. I could see the mums in deep discussion, pointing at the kids. Eventually, after around 5 minutes, one of them marched up to dd's friend and said 'Excuse me, I think you'll find that is OUR rake. Please give it back.' Which he did straight away.

They didn't tidy up the toys but left them in the sandpit (while their 2 yr olds were on the slide). So about 5 minutes later, one of dd's friends picks up a digger. So one of the other mums goes up and says a similar thing (that's our digger) and then looks round, gesturing as in where are their parents. I didn't say anything at this point because neither dd/ds/friends were put out and I didn't think they had done anything wrong.

So one of the mum starts muttering about how disgraceful they are being, how they are trying to run off with their toys etc. quite loudly and another mum (sitting nearby) joins in with them - how the little ones can't play properly because of all these toy grabbing 5 yr olds blah blah

honestly, why are people so bloody precious. I didn't say it at the time but if they are so put out by coming to a playground and sharing toys then either don't bring them or build your own bloody sandpit in the garden.

I can't bear people like that. They probably have no experience with older children though & don't understand. I always take more than i need when going to a sandpit because there is always some child who has nothing & my children think it's great to share

good for you! I know most 2 yr olds haven't quite mastered sharing but their kids weren't even bothered!

If they didn't want others to pick them up ad use them they should have collected them together and removed them after their children had finished with them. Simple as really.

Sandpits are social minefields, especially those where the parents sit round the edge 'keeping an eye' on everything and everyone. Those parents of 2 year olds sound like they don't have experience of 5 year olds yet. Also, it is very early in the sandpit season, and as their children are so young it might be the first summer they have partaken in this group activity. They don't know the etiquette. Give them a few months and I bet they will have learned!

yes, exactly - I was going to suggest that but (and I know it's cruel) they were so entertainingly pissed off looking around for a parent of these ruthless 5 yr olds, that I daren't speak up.

What ratty Mums. My ds is 2 and if he leaves toys anywhere there are other children (though not bikes/scooters etc), if he is not playing with them at that time I think they are fair play for anyone else to have a go. The Mums as well as the toddlers IMO obv need to learn to share abit better

I really hate this petty behaviour. It's so bad for their kids too as it makes them arsey over possessions. Also, I come to the playground to relax a little and let my kids run off. The last thing I want to do is stand over them telling them off for no good reason.

My view is, if you want to take a load of possessions to the swing park, you have to be responsible for them.

yes it is petty and I only hope it was because they were sandpit virgins rather than this being their general attitude

mind you, I did also hear them muttering about how dreadful their village had become since the footballers had moved in so I imagine they were from Cobham so they fit the bill of being Surrey mums (also ds was in his full chelsea kit which is why I think they thought the kids were yobs)!

I agree with tigermoth that sandpits are a social minefield. Even without the toy problem, there's the conflict between those who build castles and those who make footprints or dumper tracks, or jump on piles of sand. It's not obvious who should have priority.

I'm clearly missing something about Cobham and footballers - could someone possibly explain?

Were these 2-yr-olds all, by any chance, what soupdragon famously christened as PFBs (Precious First Borns)?

chelsea has a training ground in cobham and some of the footballers have been buying up the mansions around that neck of the woods

PFBs lol - yes, there was definite evidence of that. There were no older children in sight, all the mums had very expensive pushchairs (the sort you buy before you realise the bog standard maclaren does it all for a third of the price) and no child wandered more than a couple of feet away before one of them jumped up.

Actually to be fair to them, they were so fantastic that I ended up paying no attention to dd/ds and listening in on them the whole time I was there.

foxinsocks, I've done the same as you, evesdropping on conversations in the playground.

I think the most OTT sandpit parent I encountered was the one whose son dug a large hole in the sand. He then went off to play elsewhere, perfectly happily it seemed to me.

My toddler son and other children delightedly piled into the abandoned hole. Sandpit mother told them to leave it alone as her son had worked really hard building it. Fair enough I suppose if son was coming back in a minute or two. But no sign of son for the next 20 minutes. Cue waves of children approaching hole, all shoo-ed away by sandpit mother, with exclamations about absent parents, frowns in all directions trying to locate parents of invading hole destroyers. No one owned up - lots of parents sitting around sandpit looking at this spectacle, keeping mum. Sandpit mother proceeded to get into sandpit and stand guard over the hole glaring at us all.

LOL tigermoth, that is insane!

PMSL tigermoth! How ridiculous. BUt it was HIS hole!
I have a precious first born and now a not so precious second born but I still think that if you bring loads of stuff to a playpark you've got to expect that others will share.