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Original poster

I stood proud and shouted the odds about parents & toddler parking

167 replies

twiglett · 07/01/2004 17:06

message withdrawn

OP posts:
Fizog · 17/02/2004 12:13

For me personally it's the principal.

Makes me just as mad to see abled bodied people parking in disabled space.

Also, my car has quite long doors that I have to open quite wide to life dd in to her car seat. I have on a number of ocassions had to start my engine, wind the passenger door window down and literally post dd through the window into her car seat. This isn't easy now she's a big 20 month old.

Galaxy · 17/02/2004 12:16

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Fizog · 17/02/2004 12:17

Galaxy - it is quite funny to see!! I've had wittering audiences of old people before now

Bozza · 17/02/2004 12:21

I see Iota's point. And once my DS got to the stage of going in an ordinary trolley I started to park near a trolley bay in a quiet part of the car park. It was much easier than trying to get a P&T space. Now I've decided that I will start using them again due to advance pregnancy making it harder to get DS in/out but haven't yet been anywhere where one was available because of internet shopping and mothercare only having 4 of them.

handlemecarefully · 17/02/2004 12:36

Iota,

Apols that I was a bit 'brusque' in my reply....the 'Pregnant and Angry' thread under Pregnancy explains it all! Operating on a short fuse these days!

However feeling much better now having been over to the works canteen where there was particularly nice treacle sponge.

Jimjams · 17/02/2004 12:44

I do think you have to be careful about challenging people who don't apear to fit the bill. If one is available I always park in a M and T spot with my 4 and a half year old. yes he can walk, but he has far less road sense than an average 2 year old. He also currently thinks it is hilarious to run into the road, and fights to get away from me. I know that someday soon someone is going to have a go at me because screaming and hitting himself aside he looks completely "normal".

Agree with iota though- it's not really worth getting het up about. They're only there as a marketing ploy anyway.

Tom · 17/02/2004 12:50

A while back I spent a year or so bombarding our local David Lloyd club with 'suggestion box' entries about parent and toddler parking - it was ridiculous - there was a large disabled parking area right outside the entrance which was always less than half full, and every day I'd see mums and dads struggling with babies and toddlers at the other end of the car park.

So I badgered them to reserve soem parking right outside the entrance for parents and toddlers. In the end, they agreed.

So I drove off there with my boy, looking forward to the new parking arrangements. I arrived. Big sign. "Mothers and toddlers". groan. More complaints... 3 days later - "Parents and toddlers". Victory!

Defend those spaces! Rock on.

iota · 17/02/2004 12:51

No problem HMC
I keep away from the pregnant topics in case it's catching ....ds1 and 2 are enough for me

marialuisa · 17/02/2004 12:52

Ah but jimJams, personally i wouldn't be too worried about someone with a 4 year old in P&T spaces even if the child appeared "normal". My wrath is reserved for those people, like the 60 year olds i mentioned, who just don't give a damn.

Jimjams · 17/02/2004 14:49

Yeah but you might if the child looks closer to 6 than 4 (unfortunately) or was in school uniform. I think I've said on here before I've had glares and then incredulous looks as we've struggled to get into a trolley (no he doesn't fit). Thing is I know I need it when I'm with him more than someone with a single 2 year old becuase I go shopping with a single 2 year old as well. That's why I personally don't challenge people about them. Although 9 times out of 10 they're just lazy (or 99 times out of 100) every now and then there will be a genuine case.

Easy · 17/02/2004 15:00

JimJams,

Can't you get a disabled parking permit for ds?

I know he's able bodied, but I think his behavioural difficulties might entitle you to one.

Dh's xwife still has one for my step-son, who is now 21 and very able to cross the road/negotiate city centre. She had one for him as a child, and just keeps renewing it.
(He never needs it with us, but I'm not rocking that boat right now)

marialuisa · 17/02/2004 15:18

Seriously, I reserve my wrath for able-bodied older people, plus DD wears school uniform and is tall for her age so know where you're coming from about funny looks.

Galaxy · 17/02/2004 15:24

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Jimjams · 17/02/2004 16:00

I should be able to Easy, have the forms sitting at home, but need to dig out the law to quote (sections etc) otherwise I know I'll get refused- I'll probably get refused anyway but by pointing out cases where its been to the courts they may give me one. Also have to renew DLA and tbh just haven't been able to face it. Got a reminder this morning. Getting a blue badge is a total nightmare.

Davros · 17/02/2004 16:40

Tom - ho ho, well done!
No surprise that I sympathise with Jimjams. Even if she CAN get a permit its not that simple to go through the process, its a lot of hard work for one thing, but its also heartbreaking and something we all avoid up to a point. I just want to reinforce too the point that someone with a disabled permit does not have to be PYSICALLY disabled and they may very well not be the driver. £00.02p's worth!
BTW, just got back from stinky Safeway with baby, didn't use disabled permit as did not have ASD son with me, parked easily in Parent & Child space, still had to walk half way across the car park to get appropriate trolley!!

KatieMac · 17/02/2004 21:06

The problem is surely that the rules are being broken, whether it is P&T parking or not poopscooping or paying all the tax you owe - the general attitude to rules is 'I don't have to obey them'. This is a trend that has risen since the 2nd WW and is directly linked to the rise in crime (esp supposed victim less crime). The sooner people realise that the world would be nicer if everyone respected each others POV and accepted that there are minimum standards behaviour that are necessary from everyone in society.

That sounds so preachy and posy but I really think that people parking in the wrong space whether disabled or P&T, implys that they can do what they like - as rules are just for everyone else.

hmb · 17/02/2004 21:16

Agree 100%. It is the basic attitude that some people have that their needs/wants outweigh those of everyone else. Even when that person obviously has a greater claim (ie people with disabilities needing a parking slot).

When I was pregnant and going to antinatal classes by busI once stood up for a very frail old lady. I was very pregnant, but could stand much easier than she could. You've guessed it, the bus was full of non pregnant, able bodied youngish people, all of who needed the seat less than the lady or me!

Life is so much better if people can just remember to be kind to each other. Oh dear, that does make me sound wet.

KatieMac · 17/02/2004 21:20

Yes HMB - kind and considerate thats just what I mean (sometimes I feel that I'm on a different planet to everyone else)

misdee · 17/02/2004 23:12

jimjams, if u shop at tescos get a purple badge, its valid till your dd1 is 5. so u can use the bays without feeling 'guilty' not that u should as he is under the gae they specify.

carla · 17/02/2004 23:30

twiglett, good on you! Did exact same thing (at Sainsbury's) when pregnant with dd2 (dd1 must've been about 13 months at the time, about a month to go for dd2). Anyhow, to cut a long story short, it almost turned into fisticuffs!! He was french, the man who parked in B&T slot, nothing against the French at all, but I think the two men who took on my case did'nt like the fact that he was giving me a hard time! I think it was when I obviously had a babe that couldn't walk, confronted him about it, and then he said 'but there are plenty of spaces around. (expletive expletive) I hope you have a happy birth (sarcastically). Lo and behold - two men that I didn't know from Adam heard this and ran after his car - there was a huge car queue to get out, so he was obviously a bit worried! Magic! Never seen him there since! Well done you, BTW!

Jimjams · 18/02/2004 08:16

Talking of trolleys. Why do shops not provide double toddler trolleys very often. Took both bys to B and Q- only had toddler and baby trolleys. DS2 (age 2) woudln't fit in the baby seat (straps wouldn't go over his head). Ds1 refused to go in the shop unless in a trolley (and at the moment would run away anyway). In the end had to get him in the seat- which was a squeeze and then shove ds2 in the trolley itself. And yep more reason for people to stare.

Davros · 18/02/2004 10:59

Carla, ho ho thought you said you were 13 months pregnant! Took me a few secs to realise that couldn't be right.

Twinkie · 18/02/2004 11:23

God - please be careful when having a go at people - went to Tesco's last week and spent ages giving some lady in the P&T spaces evils - only to realise that she had a disabled badge on her car - not an orange one but a white/pale blue one - felt awful then - mind you not sure what she would have said if I had parked in a diabled space with my P&T badge????

(Although don't use them anymore DD is 3.5 and quite capable of walking across the car park holding my hand and learning how to be aware of traffic!! - although DP insists on parking in them - think that is just novelty though!!)

Jimjams · 18/02/2004 11:47

sorry twinkie but parking in a disabled bay is far worse than parking in M and T spot. M and T makes life a little easier (and is a marketing ploy at the end of the day). For some disabled people the spaces are a necessity and they can't get out without them. Honestly the 2 don't compare.

Twinkie · 18/02/2004 11:53

But there were disabled bays opposite that were free - they were actually nearer the store entrance and she did not get out of the car at all - she was picking someone up!!

So to me it is as bad - she would have wanted people to respect the fact that they should not park in disabled spaces yet thought it was fine to park in a M&T space blocking that space from a pregnant woman or woman with a disabled child like you who does not have badge - it all comes down to lack of respect and not bothering about the rules.