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jokes

3 replies

littlepeople · 06/04/2006 12:31

hi i have a family member who needs a bit of cheering up.

Does anyone have any good e-mail jokes, if you could send me some to [email protected]

thanks girls x

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Chloe55 · 06/04/2006 13:24

I hope you aren't a prude - just sent you a rude one Wink

Callisto · 06/04/2006 13:37

Don't know if you have seen this one before:

For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way

computers have enhanced our lives, read on. At a recent computer expo

(COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the

auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the

computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000

miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release

stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be

driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this

part):

  1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
  1. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy

a new car.

  1. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would

have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off

the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For

some reason you would simply accept this.

  1. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your

car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to

reinstall the engine.

  1. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable,

five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five

percent of the roads.

  1. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be

replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed an Illegal Operation" warning

light.

  1. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.
  1. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and

refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle,

turned the key and grabbed hold of theradio antenna.

  1. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how

to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the

same manner as the old car.

  1. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.
littlepeople · 07/04/2006 20:56

Thanks everyone, just the trick. xxxx

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