INTROVERTS THREAD ...shhhh, we're over here

[NorksAreMessy]

Hello fellow introverts. I hope the last thread exploded due to time since it was started, and not because it was controversial. :o

I started the original thread after reading the wonderful book quiet and realizing that I was not alone.

Lots of people were kind enough to share their thoughts and experiences, and it was a good support for those of us who like being alone; hate parties, especially hen nights; love reading, crafting, walking, painting, creating; enjoy solitude; need some recovery time after being in a crowd; prefer thought to action.

We are not necessarily shy, we can be confident and even outspoken, but we are at our happiest having a bit of a think on our own, thanks all the same

It's a bit odd to have a group of introverts, but I prefer to think of us as a collective. Separate but together.

As Christmas approaches, I thought we might need a thread to help us through it all

Me too, Verity! I have free will and am able to make a choice about whether I answer the door, phone, whatever.

Just as long as it's not socialising thrust upon me - bumping into people at the supermarket, gym, on the street, is my idea of hell...

i just took a test got 74% introvert

I'd conduct my entire life via email if I could. I detest the phone. Even worse is when DH's mobile rings and he asks me to answer it for him (if he's driving for example). He just cannot understand why I have a problem with this. But then I think he gave up trying to understand me years ago

I'm 100% introvert according to the test. Was quite surprised at that!

I prefer people to leave a message so I can call them back when I choose (if necessary).

Only a problem when I really should make an appointment with someone - DH thinks I just procrastinate but really I would just do most other jobs on my list in preference to the ones involving phone calls.

Hello from the middle of nowhere. I was on the last thread too but can't remember my guise then.

I'm having a chatty day today. Posted on several threads! Didn't speak to any real people though other than DH and dcs. Considered ringing a friend but didn't in the end. I hate telephones.

Hello all. Love this thread. I work in marketing and if you're an introvert, people think there's something wrong with you. I've been told on more than occasion (in a helpful, but terribly patronising way) that I'm not very bubbly and people usually are quite bubbly in marketing. In fact I had one boss that only gave me the minimum pay increase in my end of year review as she said I had an attitude problem because I didn't mix enough with other people! Actually getting work done and doing it well was a secondary thing in her opinion.

Regarding the Christmas party, again working in marketing it's hard to get out of. This year, I'm on mat leave and am breast feeding so have got out of it that way, but last year, I just kept fobbing people off who were trying to sell tickets until they were all sold out and then booked the day off so it wasn't noticeable that I was still sitting at my desk while everyone else was getting ready (it's usually a meal in the afternoon for those who have to get off early because of child care or whatever and then drinks in the evening).

The year before, I did go in the evening for a couple of drinks, but mingled rather than sitting with the same people and just slipped away when I "nipped to the loo" so was only there for about three quarters of an hour. People were so wrapped up in their own thing, and getting drunk, they didn't even notice.

Hello. Just checking in for today.

Thanks Norks for getting MNHQ to move us somewhere safe.

Every time I return to this thread, I spend a great deal of time nodding in agreement with what everyone is saying. I hate making and receiving phone calls also and always prefer texts/emails. I just think I have more control and can put them to one side until I am ready to deal with them.

I am INTJ on Myers-Briggs - 100% introverted! Interestingly it says a good career for me would be librarian - I went to college to study that but dropped out!

I'd love to be a librarian! Every time I go to the library which I love because it's quiet and people leave me alone I look in envy at the people working there. I could excel at that job.

Instead, like Luan above, I work in marketing and it's a bonus if you are loud and extrovert. I'm so in the wrong career.

Am back having discovered that I'm 89% introvert according to the MB test.

And I am also a fantasy librarian.

Does this chime a chord with fellow introverts? I really really do not get on any level practical jokes, either with me as the butt or even as an observer of someone else.

I also don't "get" the type of humourous tv like Jeremy Beadle/Candid Camera (accidental "old gimmer" revelation there).

In my defence i've been told I have a sense of humour but it doesn't kick in for anything involving what looks like cruelty or relying on someone not being in posession of all the information.

Is that an introvert thing or just my personal foible?

OccultGnu - I can absolutely identify with your post. I hate any humour like that. Like X-factor when they've set up all these awful singers to audition on TV so everyone can laugh at them.

Yes, OccultGnu, that strikes a chord (as does so very much on this thread!). I hate practical jokes and Beadle, think its mean and don't see what's funny about it.

I think I've found my place in mumsnet! When I saw your view on hen parties I felt instant empathy. For my hen party a (very) small group of us did hat making then went for dinner. I HATE hen parties where you have to do anything remotely attention seeking.

Interestingly I'm also a doctor, and spend a lot of time pretending I like being with other people. Practical exams where I have to act are the bane of my life. But now I'm 9weeks pregnant and as long as all goes well will be a SAHM from July, my dream job. Now just need my dream house with a library and sunroom with a piano and a window seat, and my life will be complete.

Massive cross post with six of you because I spent so long writing the post

I'm so interested to hear what other people do for a living. I used to be an editor but realised I hated the office environment. Interestingly, I also found that the solitary nature of the work exaggerated my introversion, which wasn't actually good for me. I think because my natural state is to go into myself, I can retreat too far into myself and then end up in a fug. Although I need lots of time on my own, it is healthier for me to have some level of human interaction each day! Now I am a student midwife, and it is perfect for me. Clinic days can be really mentally draining, but I find it's not so bad because it's all one-on-one interaction - so much more natural for me than having to act 'bubbly' and 'sociable' in a group. I think introverts coming into the profession often worry that they won't fit in, but I don't think I can think of anything worse than a 'gregarious' midwife Appropriate silence is so important in birth.

Incidentally, I thought seriously about becoming a librarian for several years (my mother and most of her friends are librarians - a very mixed group of extroverts and introverts). Librarians are my kindred spirits :) Careful though, many librarian jobs require LOADS of human interaction!

Housewife. Love it.

I'm about to decline an invite for Xmas drinks with school mums because I hate standing around in bars, I never know what to say and feel self-conscious.

I think I'd go if it was a meal though, I don't mind sitting around a table eating.

Does that mean I'm an introvert, or shy?

Just as a side note, the Myers-Briggs test should be taken with a pinch of salt as you will answer questions differently on different days. My husband works in HR and they do use these tests but only as a starting point to frame questions in an interview. I've done it several times and once even came out as extrovert.

OccultGnu I feel the same. I hate practical jokes being played on anyone (especially me), and fancy dress - I would never, ever accept an invite to a fancy dress event.

I also hate surprise parties. I'd kill anyone who threw me a surprise party, to the point that when my 40th was approaching I made sure that everyone knew that under no circumstances did I want a party of any kind, and definitely not a surprise one. I even dislike surprise parties for other people, even if the recipient likes them. I just feel embarrassed and awkward.

I am a PA - I think it suits me because I like things to be organised and ordered. Although I am part of a team most of my interaction is 1 on 1 with my boss. And I don't have to participate in a lot of meetings which I've had to do in previous roles and hated.

Where have you been all my life? I'd like to shout me too but that might be a bit extrovert!

I hate, hate hate talking on the phone and would do everything by email if I could. I get stressed in crowds or groups of people. I hated the standing round reception door with all the other mums. Pleased now my kids are a bit older so i can just stand quietly in the bigger crowd with hood up. Can't abide small talk.

I've been finding it a little difficult becoming a mum. Solitude is difficult to come by and dh wants attention too. Too many things, please let me switch off.

Having said all that I couldn't become a SAHM. Someone mentioned up thread about being too isolated and I could see that not being good for me. I work part time in a small office and it's fine for me.

As an aside, I realised recently that I suffer from auditory processing disorder. It's basically where you have trouble processing what you hear and the messages kind of get scrambled. I've not been diagnosed but I KNOW it's me - bit like being an introvert. Background noise hampers the hearing process and also listening on the phone. It sometimes sends me in to a panic and makes matters worse. Sometimes I pretend I know what someone has said or I will will change subject mid sentence on purpose. Looking back I know people have thought me odd or awkward. I wonder if this has had a hand in my introversion? I suppose a bit like a vicious circle.

Bue, that's really interesting, I've always fancied being an editor (of books rather than newspapers mind you), but I relate to what you're saying about too long on your own leaving you in a fug (great word!). I hope you continue to enjoy midwifery .

Persuasion are you having mat leave or are you going to be a long term SAHM? I didn't dare take longer than 12 months, what with appraisal and revalidation and all...

Incidentally, I've done Myers Briggs twice, 6 years apart, and got almost exactly the same scores for all four indicators, whereas my DH's scores are different every time (he started off my exact opposite and is drifting closer to my type ).

Oh also, one of the worst things I can think of is being on I'm a celeb get me out of here! I just don't get that. Being watched the whole time on TV, having to live with a group of other people in a JUNGLE, shudder! You could NOT pay me enough. I would be really boring though so they just wouldn't be inetesretd!

I've been finding it a little difficult becoming a mum. Solitude is difficult to come by and dh wants attention too. Too many things, please let me switch off.

^ yes, this, exactly! Feel so guilty sometimes if I have DS (age 3) on my own all day and have to sit him in front of Cbeebies for half an hour and go hide in the kitchen for a while just to be able to get through a day of constant demands for attention.

I do the hiding in the kitchen for a bit of peace and quiet, when I've put CBeebies on for the DC too. Having a chatty DD can be relentless sometimes, especially when every story starts with the word "mummy" and if you say "sorry I didn't hear that last bit" the entire anecdote gets repeated, especially the "mummy" bit. Yes, I do know you are talking to me