Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Other subjects

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

Anyone lost interest in their career

96 replies

kizzie · 06/01/2004 18:54

Hi everyone
Ive always been ambitious, loved my job and been lucky to carry on working part time in a fairly senior position after my children were born.

They are four now but recently I really seem to have lost interest in my job.

I suffered from PND which I got over although Ive had a difficult time recently because unfortunately I became addicted to seroxat and have been trying to come off for 2 years.

Anyway only reason to mention that is because Ive carried on working throughout yet recently its really starting to get to me.

Im finding the work load more and more demanding and increasingly resent the extra work I need to do at home. i have fewer ideas while im there and find the every day problems that crop up really irritating.

Not sure if its linked with the PND or whether after working somewhere for 10 years Ive just got bored (or that as a mum Im simply just not as interested in it anymore.)

Anyone else felt similar?
Kizziex

OP posts:

pupuce · 21/01/2004 10:56

and it's definitely cheaper than Guilford!

Sonnet · 21/01/2004 11:04

BK - I can see what a conundram you're in. I can't help but just wanted to say i was thinking of you...
What is your DH's opinion of the situation?

ps: Good news aboutthe PG!!

pamina3 · 21/01/2004 11:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bells2 · 21/01/2004 11:40

Bk, many many congrats - hope you are feeling ok. Although I was always very career minded I don't regret for a second chucking it all in to stay at home. Our situation is different to yours though as our household income was split roughly 50/50. We have a very small mortgage and the fact that we had a nanny (together with other work related expenses) means that the net impact of me not working is relatively small. The cut backs I have made are mainly on things like clothes, cosmetics, eating out etc so immaterial in the scheme of things.

To be honest, I would probably not have given up work had it meant a dramatic change to our financial circumstances (eg cutting out say holidays, good quality food and so on). I personally don't think it's unreasonable of your DH to want to stay in London. I just don't know what the right answer is at all, I guess it's just trying to find a balance where you don't feel you are sacrificing your personal happiness for financial comfort but I agree that living in London makes this incredibly difficult.

prufrock · 21/01/2004 12:13

Oh hurrah hurrah hurrah. I am so pleased for you bk, can't believe you kept it secret for so long (but completely understand why you did)

I didn't mean you should make the decision all by yourslef, but rephrase to "am i being unreasonable no. 453"....

"my dh earns 80% of the household income and our outgoings are based on his salary. he's seriously depressed in his job and wants me to explore whether I can move areas in my badly paid public sector job and look at the possibility of moving out of london even though i really don't want to go because he really can't cope anymore. i'm a bit pissed off with him - am i being unreasonable? We might be a bit more sympathetic to that dh. But I'm sure you are discussing it rationally between you.

Your pregnancy does actually make it easier you know - If you have to pay 2 lots of childcare your net wage won't be such a huge thing to give up. And I think you probably get pretty much full pay for 4-5 months don't you - if you can cut back whilst you are off work then all that money could be saved up.

Do come and live in Bishop's Stortford. It's only a 37 minute train journey into Liverpool St. And we could be yummy mummys together!
Seriously - here's the two best estate agents in the area (More property porn for you)
intercounty , and mullucks

Batters · 21/01/2004 12:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bugsy2 · 21/01/2004 13:55

BK, very many congratulations on your happy news. Don't know what to advise really about your work situation, as it is such a huge decision. Can you not see how you feel during maternity leave? What does your dh feel about you giving up?

sis · 21/01/2004 13:56

Oh Bk, huge congratulations! hope you are doing okay.

WideWebWitch · 21/01/2004 13:58

Oh bossykate, very many congratulations on your pregnancy! can't type more as babe sleeping in my arms but will follow this thread with interest. agree with pru, we'd be more sympathetic to her scenario dh!

jodee · 21/01/2004 14:52

BK, many congratulations! Hope the pregnancy is going well. I hope you manage to eventually come to a happy compromise on the job front, life is never easy is it?

florenceuk · 21/01/2004 16:07

Congratulations BK! have you thought about a career change as opposed to complete break - some jobs in the civil service are better paid than others, and they are much more flexible. I have a (male) friend who moved from reasonably well-paid consultant job at PW to middlingly-well paid job in civil service for precisely that reason, so now he can do nursery pick-up/drop-off, doctor appointments, etc.

aloha · 21/01/2004 22:11

BK - CONGRATULATIONS! What fabulous news for you. I'm SO pleased

tigermoth · 21/01/2004 22:37

bossykate, many, many congratulations too!

bossykate · 22/01/2004 06:52

just a quick thanks to everyone for these congratulations we are delighted and v. relieved now (following good results from nuchal) - with the odd moment of omigodwhathavewedone of course.

in terms of the great dilemma - look forward to more navel gazing on the subject from me here when i've had a chance to compose my thoughts!

tigermoth · 22/01/2004 07:59

bk, I can see you have a lot to think about. One other thought on moving to another area - what about moving to a cheaper area in london so your dh can keep his job? Also, with the opportunities here, could you swap your full time job for a similar part time one or do consultancy or freelance work in your field?

I know this is not for everyone, but we did this, sold a tiny house in a better area and moved to a much bigger, nicer and cheaper house in a poorer area. All the ammenities of the nice area are but a 15 minute drive away and this area has seen an influx of people from the adjacent better areas. The state schools here are not top ones admittedly, but I could have chosen to keep my son at his former state school if I'd wanted to - we are not that far off the map. However, by moving him to a church school, my son is now at one of the best schools in the borough.

Also, a great saving, there are far more nice childminders and nurseries in this area, and they are much more reasonably priced. £25.00 a day is the going rate for a childminder as opposed to £35.00 a day in our last area. This makes a huge difference, especially if you are thinking of working part time.

OK, I can't just walk to my nearest tube station and be in the centre of london in 10 minutes, but I can drive and park easily and for free near our rail stations. The nearest tube is an easy 20 minute drive away, and getting to central london takes another 20 minutes. So I'm not too distant for the big smoke. There are few parking restrictions around here - so that lessens the stress and the expense too.

tigermoth · 22/01/2004 09:42

just a quick ps, bk, huge numbers of teachers and lecturers have homes in this area - we know at least 30 friends and acquaintances who are in the profession, all living within a 15 minute walk away.

sunchowder · 22/01/2004 23:53

Congratulations BK, just checking in and saw this thread. I can relate to so many of the posts here. My two bits from across the way then...you can just never imagine how you feel after your baby is born...you are thinking and planning and mulling which is wonderful. For me, it was such an intense emotional experience that nothing had ever come close to that. I was a career women at a major telecomm company for 20 years when I had my first and only DD. This was my second marriage (no chldren from the first), I was and currently am bringing in the higher salary and carrying the family health insurance which can be outrageously expensive here in the states. I seriously lost interest in my career after DD was born, and have done my best to try to hang in there and at least give it 60%. I was able to negotiate working out of the house and have pretty flexible hours or I think I might have died by now!

I don't know that I could have made the financial sacrifice to leave the job, although I wanted to very much. I can't take it as seriously as beforeit just doesn't mean the same thing. My whole perspective changed and continues to do so. I find myself wanting to do something where I really make a difference. I appreciate everyday that I get to drop my daughter at school and love being home in the afternoon when she returns from schoolat least I have that. We eat a bit more healthy because I am able to put up a pot of something nice mid afternoon. For you BK, I am sure there will be a compromise, something that can work for you. I wish you the best and of course, the best to all the mums that have shared on this thread.

sunchowder · 29/01/2004 02:44

Bringing this one back alive BK, didn't know if you had seen the other posts, how are you?

bossykate · 30/01/2004 20:48

hi sunchowder and everyone

no i haven't been avoiding this thread - just not much of an update. have been running through it all in my head and have realised there is a whole year before i need to make a decision on this, i.e. 6m more approx of pg, followed by approx 6m mat leave. it wouldn't hurt to start planning now of course though.

still not sure what to do - no easy answers, plus don't really want to be as poor as we would be - perhaps that makes me an awful person...

thanks for these comments but please don't be offended if you don't hear from me regularly on this thread - it'll be because i've got nothing new to say!

i do appreciate people taking the trouble to post though

Jimjams · 30/01/2004 20:59

BK- totally missed this thread- congratulations!

Ahh your husband's in academia. yep that can make it difficult- job security in academia being hard to come by of course.

Agree with you about cost of places like Guildford. The only way we could afford to move out of London was to move waaaay out of London (Devon) so I can see your problem.

We moved for other reasons as well - we needed more family support (becuase of ds1 basically) and my parents are here. It's been a good move for us but certianly wouldn't be for everyone.

And if we'd stayed in london- 18 months later- dh would have been earning almost twice as much as he is now. Ahhh well.

Okthenhun · 20/05/2023 07:15

I know this thread is nearly 20 years old (😱) but I was searching for mumsnet topics (as always) on not being arsed about my career anymore and it came up.

my DCs are 6&9 and people keep telling me to carry on with my career as I’ll regret not doing so. I like working but I’m no longer wanting stress/career climbing, just want to earn an ok wage and have a happy life, be with my family and enjoy my little family life. I don’t want to climb the ladder anymore.

I know the chances are slim, but is there anyone from this original thread still on mumsnet that could fill us in on whether they ever decided they wanted to go back to a career when their children grew up.?!

Flip

1 2 3 4