I am in denial, but I need to face up to reality

[emkana]

As some of you know I have been told that it is likely that my baby will be born with achondroplasia (dwarfism).

While a small part of me has taken this in a large part of me is in complete denial. I just can't stop thinking about all the stories I have read (and heard) of people who were told awful things during pregnancy but then the baby turned out to be perfectly healthy.

I don't think this is doing me any good and I should face up to reality, but how do I do it? Or will it come in time anyway?

emkana have you ever heard of something called Holiday in Italy? it's something written by someone who had a Down's Syndrome child, about the feelings they had. I will look it out for you

Yes hc I've seen it, jimjams posted a link for me.

I did find it very interesting, and I'm sure I will come back to it many times if and when this baby turns out to be achondroplastic.

\link{http://www.dssupport.net/poems.asp\here - it's called welcome to Holland; my sister found it helpful, though it's a bit hokey}

(sorry too late....)

Thanks very much anyway

Things are rough for you atm, poor you :(
Have you any siblings who are near your dad?
'Bonding' (whatever that is...) is going to be bloody difficult with so much stress, raised and lowered hopes, conflicting info, uncertainty, worry flying around. You know pre- and post-birth are two completely different worlds anyway. Don't you worry about bonding, your little lad's snug as a bug as a rug inside you and will be loved to bits when he arrives :)
Is there any chance of you managing just 20 mins, half an hour a day where you have a little ritual - make yourself a cup of your favourite tea/coffee/hot choc, sit in your favourite place in the house, listen to music/radio 4/whatever is enjoyable and soothing, not brood over any of the stress and worry, just have space and time for yourself just sitting and relaxing? Do you think that would work for you? (I'd be rubbish at it , but I do think creating this kind of emotional 'space', genuine space, for yourself can help).

I do forget about things when I'm with my girls or when we're all doing things together as a family, but I am feeling slightly desperate for a day or even just an afternoon all to myself, if only to prepare for my baby and get myself a bit into the mood that way.
But with chaotic dd2 around there's not much chance of that.
Hopefully MIL will be better very soon and will have the children again, she's finished treatment and the doctors have been very positive in their prognosis.
FIT - my brother is close to my parents location-wise, but not much use emotionally unfortunately.